James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

One shop was easy, we used to get chocolate biscuits and sponge cakes. Mitch was not good at knocking but he was good at helping ye. One time we were w*****g he put his hand to do it to me. He done it funny and it was sore. Podgie was laughing. Mitch did not care. But he was feared of Podgie. But he was still a best fighter, except for Podgie, if ye laughed at him he would batter ye. That happened to a boy that was bigger than us, he laughed at Mitch to do with how he was talking. People said he talked funny. He was saying words and it was how he said them. That bigger boy was getting Mitch to say the words then he was laughing at him so Mitch just kicked into him, oh he just rushed him and kicked in. That boy was beat and had to get away.

Podgie was not so big as Mitch but with a thick body People said he was the best fighter. Maybe he was not. But he went after people. He did not go after me but if he wanted to go after me. I think he did. Ye were going up the road and he shoved ye in the back. Oh what was that for?

Ha ha. Nothing.

He done it to Mitch too and Mitch did not stop him so that was how Podgie thought he could beat him. At football he booted into ye. So if you done it to him he just done it back and the ball was not there. It was not your fault, ye were just playing the game and it was not a real kick. So he kicked ye. Oh what was that for?

Well you kicked me.

But that was the ball.

Then how he looked at ye, seeing what ye would do. If ye were letting him get away with it and then he had a wee smile. And if you did not tackle hard the next time that was you, he did not bother with ye. So if he could beat ye any time, that was how he acted. Even if ye were pals with him. So if he done it to ye ye just acted it was nothing, ye did not even notice or else ye laughed like it was a joke. Sometimes he punched people and then got the ball. Oh I did not f*****g mean it, I was just running.

Oh but then he caught a wee Primary 2. He was just a bully. We were down at the shops and he caught him. That was the worst. Open yer mouth till I see yer teeth. The wee Primary 2 done it and Podgie spat right in. A greaser down to his tonsils. Podgie said that, Oh it is a big greaser.

The wee Primary 2 could not get it up. He was choking and choking and went down on his knees choking and pulling his lips out with his fingers, pulling them out. Podgie grabbed his head, Wee b*****d.

The wee Primary 2 was greeting and trying to shut his mouth. Podgie pulled his chin down and got his nose up so his mouth was open and spat in again so then the boy fell down and was just choking.

That was Podgie, he was just a bully. Maybe Gary was one. He was if Podgie was there. He tripped people up when they were walking. If he done it to you ye had to act something, just whatever ye done. Boys laughed when he done it to them. But they were no really laughing. Podgie punched me on the shoulder and I said, Oh quit it.

What will ye do if I do not?

Oh Podge, just quit it.

Podgie laughed but he stopped doing it. I called him Podge and no Podgie. So when ye said it it was better sounding. Other ones started saying it. But they were still feared of him. But I do not know with John Davis, if he was too. Or if he did not think about it, maybe he did not. John just looked at people. I thought if Podgie and Gary McNab were going to jump him. So if they did, what would happen? It was a worry.

Miss Cooney did not like John. She picked on him, Oh you, John Davis, if you just listen and stop being so silly.

When she gived him a row for no doing stuff Gary had his head on the desk and laughed round to me. But I did not laugh back. I saw him make a joke to Podgie and it was about John. Oh if they were making a fool of him. I kidded on I did not know. But what would happen if they jumped him? If John was my pal. He was my pal.

Miss Cooney said things to him and he was just looking at her. In the playground he stood near me. But he did not come to school a lot. A boy said to me, Is John Davis a good fighter?

Oh if he loses his temper.

Have you seen him do it?

Aye, he done it on the school buses.

Oh but really, he did not. John did not hit people. I saw him as if he was nearly going to but he never did. But if he did ye would have to look out. Anybody would have to. John was just big and strong as well, I thought he was.

Another time people were saying who was best fighters and who could give ye a good go. Some were looking at Podgie because if he was the best fighter in the class. He was just standing with a wee smile. But it was my turn to say and I said, Oh John Davis would give ye a good go.

John Davis?

I think he is a best fighter. A boy hit him on the school buses and he battered him. He just lost his temper. I think he is the best.

Oh the best, said Gary McNab, in the complete class?

That was a trick. He was trying to trick me. If it was the complete class, so that was everybody, Podgie and everybody. I said, Oh well I am no saying he is the complete best.

But really I was. Podgie and them were looking at me. Nobody thought of John Davis but he was the biggest in the class. If he fighted ye he could knock ye out. Just if it was one punch, because if it just catched ye right and it was yer jaw, if he lost his temper.

People could lose their temper, if ones were laughing at ye. So if people laughed at John maybe he would lose it. If they done things to him. If he let people do it and did not fight.

Some boys done what ye telled them but John Davis was not one of them, I knew he was not. Mitch was a bit like it. Podgie telled him stuff and he done it. It was dares. Podgie would say it, Oh Mitch I dare ye to skelp that lassie on the b*m. So Mitch done it. Ask that lassie does she know what a Gerry's Helmet is? So Mitch went and asked. The lassie did not know and everybody all was laughing. She looked and saw us and got a big riddy. But so did Mitch, so we all were laughing more. But one time a man slapped him because he emptied a dustbin out on the pavement. Then the man ran out the close and got him. The man shouted at him, Weans are playing there you dumbcluck b****r, I will get the polis. We threw stanes at the man and Mitch got away We were laughing about it, dumbcluck b****r.

It was only Podgie that done stuff to Mitch. If other ones tried Mitch would batter them. He was no feared of anybody. Except for dogs, he hated dogs and would not go near them. If he saw one he would walk out the way from it or even run away, I saw him running away and the dog just chased him. But dogs aye done that. I telled Mitch, ye just had to walk and it would be okay.

But it was no just Mitch that Podgie done stuff to. He got ones to go messages too. Away to the shops and get me a packet of crisps. Go and do this and go and do that. He did not say it to me. I would not have went. But if he did say it? He would not. If I was his pal. I did not know if I was his pal.

He thought ye were trying to get in with him and ye were not. He just gived a wee smile. I did not like it. I did not try to get in with him. People thought we were pals but we were not.

It was you went pals with him, he did not with you. He was not really a pal. Because you were not his. Even if he was yours.

If ye went up for him he came out, but sometimes he did not. Oh I am watching the telly.

I did not like him bullying people. He done it when I was there and I did not like it. Podgie saw me looking but still done it. He done it a lot to a Primary 4 boy. Other ones picked on this boy because of how he walked funny and what he wore, it was stuff people laughed at. One time he failed in the canal and was caught in the weeds, his feet got fankled up. He was dragged down and down and going below the surface but a man was there and jumped in and got him. They thought he was passed away but he came to and was sick, all the water gushing out. It was in the paper and his photograph was there. My da was reading it. Oh here is a boy in your school. He nearly drowned in the canal. He was playing on the locks, I hope you do not do it.