Shashi Tharoor - Show Business

“Mehnaz,” Ashok pleads, “don’t leave me.” She smiles sadly. “I would have left you anyway,” she breathes. “Be good to Abha.”

Then the light dies in her eyes, and a drop of red blood drips onto the medallion of the dancing goddess at her wrist. Ashok and Abha look at each other.

“She was,” Abha says, “a truly noble woman.”

Closing shot: Ashok stands with his arm around Abha, a child by their side, as the flames from Mehnaz’s funeral pyre lick up to a bloodred sky. The long notes of “Where are you, my love?” fill the sound track and on the flames appear the words

THE END.

Interval

EXTRACTS FROM “CHEETAH’S CHATTER,’ SHOWBIZ MAGAZINE

DARLINGS, nothing can really shock your worldly Cheetah, but shouldn’t we draw the line at bigamy? Rumors have reached our scalded ears that one of our more irrepressible shooting stars, who used to be called up-and- commg for more reasons than one, has been going around whispering about a secret marriage to a megastar! The libel laws don’t allow Cheetah the dubious pleasure of purring their names, sweethearts, but the hitch is, the hero in question is already hitched!! Of course, if you want to give his ladylove the benefit of the doubt, he could have converted to Islam for the purpose, since that considerate faith allows a legal escape from the monotony of monogamy, but Cheetah has seen no evidence of that — and believe me, wicked ones, Cheetah knows where to look! Grrowl…

MORE, DARLINGS, on the mysterious marital goings-on around Bollywood. Remember Cheetah told you last week about the star who’d allegedly put his light into eclipse by “marrying” one of his satellites? To be honest, little cubs, your Cheetah didn’t take it all too seriously, because the uninhibited source of the story isn’t exactly famous for needing a wedding ring before making the bedding sing. Why would anyone, let alone the straying superstar in question, need to marry her? Or so Cheetah thought, and that was fair enough, wouldn’t you say, darlings? Well, the lady (and we may as well call her that, until the mystery man says, “that’s no lady, that’s my wife!”) is deeply offended by Cheetah’s suggestion that she has been playing fast and loose with (among other things) the truth. The newly respectable Mrs. says she can even name the temple where the ceremony actually occurred! Can you believe it, darlings, a temple! After all, God only knows what goes on in Bollywood, eh? Grrrowl…

PARDON MY BREATHLESSNESS, darlings, but things are really hotting up in Bollywood’s Bigamous Boudoirs! Remember the trail your Cheetah has relentlessly sniffed out over the last few weeks? Well, it certainly seems that there’s some fire beneath the smoke, after all. The jungle tom-toms tell Cheetah that a garland was indeed draped around one of the screen’s more swanlike necks, though it’s other portions of her anatomy that usually need draping! The suhaag story is only marred by the fact that the man is already married. And that his original dharampatni is far from amused. Bollywood’s know-it-alls speak in hushed whispers of her righteous fury when the Other Woman’s name is even mentioned. Which is more than slightly awkward, since the three of them are actually doing a movie together! What a set of tangled vines for Cheetah’s little cubs to figure out, eh? Just put two and two together and you’ll come up with a ménage à trois! Grrrrowl…

TO MOVE to more mundane matters, darlings, what is arch-villain Pranay doing making so many trips to the land of Araby? Cheetah’s invariably well-informed sources speak of many a flying visit to the modern souks of Dubai, which of course is better spelled “Do-buy.” So villainy must be paying! It seems the man with the evil mustache is much seen in the company of an expatriate desi businessman, Nadeem Elahi, who is reported to be in “import-export.” Now there’s a phrase that conceals a multitude of sins, eh, darlings? But it wouldn’t be fair of Cheetah to point out that the principal export of Dubai, at least until oil came along, was gold to our own ill-protected shores, would it? No, Cheetah much prefers some more innocent explanation. Really, with our filmi smuggler’s thinning hair, it would be too too boring if life imitated art so baldly! Grrrowl…

REALLY, DARLINGS, what is happening on the sets of Dil Ek Qila, Jagannath Choubey’s much-touted multistarrer that’s supposed to mark the comeback of ex-national sweetheart Maya Kumari? Bollywood is rife with stories of flashing tempers and stormy walkouts, script changes and sullen sulks — and that’s all offscreen! It’s no secret, of course, to Cheetah’s well-read little cubs (especially those who read well between the lines!) that the film’s two female stars don’t exactly see eye-to-contact lens with each other. And neither has to look very far for the cause of their mutual dislike — not much beyond their bedrooms, if Cheetah makes herself clear! Indeed, some of the problems on the set are not entirely unrelated to other matters we’ve chattered about in recent weeks, but sorry, darlings, the libel lawyers won’t let me say more. Meanwhile, producer Jagannath Choubey’s bills are mounting every day and director Mohanlal has been seen popping tranquilizers as if they were golgappas. Question of the week, darlings: will Dil Ek Qila ever get completed, and if it does, will anyone recognize it as the film Choubeyji’s enthusiastic PR-wallahs were telling us about months ago? As the costume man said to the actress, I have my doubts on both points! Grrrowl…

DARLINGS, whoever heard of a good villain? Well, it seems our nasty old Pranay, he of the paan -stained mouth and the evil leer, has a heart of gold, and that isn’t a snide reference to his visits to Dubai, I swear! It seems the man every woman loves to hate has actually set up a fund for Junior Artistes, the long-suffering small-fry we can’t bring ourselves to call “extras,” and he puts in a percentage of his take from every movie he does, as well. Now there’s an example for some of our heroes to follow, eh? Grrowl…

NOW ALL YOU faithful little cubs know that Cheetah doesn’t waste time on soulful gush, don’t you? We only chatter about the sinful and the salacious. But Cheetah heard something soulful today that’s too-too interesting to pass up. Remember the unnameable bigamist you’ve heard all those whispers about? Well, he was in a confiding mood the other day, over a glass of Cheetah’s favourite libation, but — alas! — strictly off the record. Which means it’s OK to quote him as long as we don’t mention his name (or height), eh? So gather round, little cubs, and Cheetah will tell you a slightly longer story than usual!

Well, we asked our friend, why the first marriage, and why the second? He looked intensely into the amber pool in his glass and breathed, almost to himself: “You marry someone. Because she seems right, because everyone else loves her, because you want your father’s approval. Even if you’ve never admitted to yourself, let alone to him, that you want your father’s approval. And at first it feels great. Everyone admires her, envies you. Wonderful. Then, after a while, the magic fades. You lose interest in her. Not all of a sudden, but gradually, inevitably. You can’t do anything about it. But you don’t want to lose her either. It’s not as if you dislike her or anything, or are desperate to get rid of her. In any case, it’s too late for that: there’s the fear of scandal, there are the kids, there’s the guilt, and there’s the fear of, once more, letting yourself down in your father’s eyes. So you go on. You tell yourself it doesn’t matter: you’ll find your own escapes.”