Jane Bowles - My Sister's Hand in Mine - The Collected Works of Jane Bowles

( The others crowd slowly through the gate and stand awkwardly in a bunch looking up at GERTRUDE.)

GERTRUDE ( Perfunctorily ) I think I’ll stay here on the balcony, thank you. Just spread yourselves on the lawn and we’ll talk back and forth this way. It’s all the same. ( To the maids ) You can hand me up my food by stepping on that little stump and I’ll lean over and get it.

MRS. LOPEZ ( Her accent is much thicker than her brother’s, smiling up at GERTRUDE) You will come down into the garden, Miss Eastman Cuevas?

MR. SOLARES ( Giving his sister a poke ) Acaba de decirte que se queda arriba. ¿Ya no oyes? ( The next few minutes on the stage have a considerable musical background. The hags and ESPERANZA start spreading bandanas on the lawn and emptying the baskets. The others settle on the lawn. ESPERANZA and the hags sing a raucous song as they work, the hags just joining in at the chorus and a bit off key. ESPERANZA brings over a pot wrapped in a Turkish towel and serves the family group. They all take enormous helpings of spaghetti. MR. SOLARES serves himself ) Italian spaghetti with meat balls! Esperanza, serve a big plate to Miss Eastman Cuevas up on the porch. You climb on that.

( He points to a fake stump with a gnome carved on one side of it. )

ESPERANZA ( Disagreeably ) ¡Caramba!

( She climbs up on the stump after filling a plate with spaghetti and hands it to GERTRUDE, releasing her hold on the plate before GERTRUDE has secured her own grip. ESPERANZA jumps out of the way immediately and the plate swings downward under the weight of the food, dumping the spaghetti on MRS. LOPEZ’ head. )

GERTRUDE Oh! ( To ESPERANZA) You didn’t give me a chance to get a firm hold on it!

MR. SOLARES ¡Silencio!

(ESPERANZA rushes over to the hags and all three of them become hysterical with laughter. After their hysterics they pull themselves together and go over to clean up MRS. LOPEZ and to restore GERTRUDE’S plate to her filled with fresh spaghetti. They return to their side of the garden in a far corner and everyone starts to eat. )

MR. SOLARES ( To GERTRUDE) Miss Eastman Cuevas, you like chop suey?

GERTRUDE I have never eaten any.

MRS. LOPEZ ( Eager to get into the conversation and expressing great wonder in her voice ) Chop suey? What is it?

MR. SOLARES ( In a mean voice to MRS. LOPEZ) You know what it is. ( In Spanish ) Que me dejes hablar con la señora Eastman Cuevas por favor. ( To GERTRUDE) I’ll bring you some chop suey tomorrow in a box, or maybe we better go out to a restaurant, to a dining and dancing. Maybe you would go to try out some chop suey … Would you?

GERTRUDE ( Coolly ) That’s very nice of you but I’ve told you before that I don’t care for the type of excitement you get when you go out … You know what I mean — entertainment, dancing, etc. Why don’t you describe chop suey to me and I’ll try and imagine it? (MRS. LOPEZ roars with laughter for no apparent reason. GERTRUDE cranes her neck and looks down at her over the balcony with raised eyebrows ) I could die content without ever setting foot in another restaurant. Frankly, I would not care if every single one of them burned to the ground. I really love to sit on my porch and look out over the ocean.

MRS. LOPEZ You like the ocean?

GERTRUDE I love it!

MRS. LOPEZ ( Making a wild gesture with her arm ) I hate it!

GERTRUDE I love it. It’s majestic …

MRS. LOPEZ I hate!

GERTRUDE ( Freezing up ) I see that we don’t agree.

MR. SOLARES ( Scowling at MRS. LOPEZ) Oh, she loves the ocean. I don’t know what the hell is the matter with her today. (GERTRUDE winces at his language ) Myself, I like ocean, land, mountain, all kinds of food, chop suey, chile, eel, turtle steak … Everything. Solares like everything. ( In hideous French accent ) Joie de vivre!

( He snaps his fingers in the air. )

GERTRUDE ( Sucking some long strands of spaghetti into her mouth ) What is your attitude toward your business?

MR. SOLARES ( Happily ) My business is dandy.

GERTRUDE ( Irritably ) Yes, but what is your attitude toward it?

MR. SOLARES ( With his mouth full ) O.K.

GERTRUDE Please try to concentrate on my question, Mr. Solares. Do you like business or do you really prefer to stay home and lazy around?

MRS. LOPEZ ( Effusively ) He don’t like no business — he likes to stay home and sleep — and eat. ( Then in a mocking tone intended to impress MR. SOLARES himself ) “Fula, I got headache … I got bellyache … I stay home, no?” ( She jabs her brother in the ribs with her elbow several times rolling her eyes in a teasing manner and repeats ) “Fula, I got headache … I got bellyache … I stay home, no?”

( She jabs him once again even harder and laughs way down in her throat. )

MR. SOLARES ¡Fula! Esta es la última vez que sales conmigo. Ya, déjame hablar con la señora Eastman Cuevas!

MRS. LOPEZ Look, Miss Eastman Cuevas?

GERTRUDE ( Looking disagreeably surprised ) Yes?

MRS. LOPEZ You like to talk to me?

GERTRUDE ( As coolly as possible short of sounding rude ) Yes, I enjoy it.

MRS. LOPEZ ( Triumphantly to MR. SOLARES) Miss Eastman Cuevas like talk to me, so you shut your mouth. He don’t want no one to talk to you, Miss Eastman Cuevas because he think he gonna marry you.

(FREDERICA doubles over and buries her face in her hands. Her skinny shoulders shake with laughter. )

MR. SOLARES ( Embarrassed and furious ) Bring the chicken and rice, Esperanza.

ESPERANZA You ain’t finished what you got!

MR. SOLARES Cállate, y tráigame el arroz con pollo.

(ESPERANZA walks across the lawn with the second pot wrapped in a Turkish towel. She walks deliberately at a very slow pace, throwing a hip out at each step, and with a terrible sneer on her face. She serves them all chicken and rice, first removing the spaghetti plates and giving them clean ones. Everyone takes enormous helpings again, with the exception of GERTRUDE who refuses to have any. )

GERTRUDE ( While ESPERANZA serves the others ) If Molly doesn’t come out soon she will simply have to miss her lunch. It’s very tiring to have to keep reminding her of the time and the other realities of life. Molly is a dreamer.

MRS. LOPEZ ( Nodding ) That’s right.

GERTRUDE ( Watching FREDERICA serve herself ) Do you people always eat such a big midday meal? Molly and I are in the habit of eating simple salads at noon.

MRS. LOPEZ ( Wiping her mouth roughly with her napkin. Then without pausing and with gusto ) For breakfast: chocolate and sugar bread: for lunch: soup, beans, eggs, rice, roast pork with potatoes and guava paste … ( She pulls on a different finger for each separate item ) Next day: soup, eggs, beans, rice, chicken with rice and guava paste — other day: soup, eggs, beans, rice, stew meat, roasted baby pig and guava paste. Other day: soup, rice, beans, grilled red snapper, roasted goat meat and guava paste.

FREDERICA ( Speaking for the first time, rapidly, in a scarcely audible voice ) Soup, rice, beans, eggs, ground-up meat and guava paste.

GERTRUDE ( Wearily ) We usually have a simple salad.

MR. SOLARES She’s talkin’ about the old Spanish custom. She only come here ten years ago when her old man died. I don’t like a big lunch neither. ( In a sudden burst of temerity ) Listen, what my sister said was true. I hope I am gonna marry you some day soon. I’ve told you so before. You remember?