Jane Bowles - My Sister's Hand in Mine - The Collected Works of Jane Bowles

“I am flying down immediately,” she said to Miss Goering. “I can’t tell you how terrific it is to hear from you. I have not been back long, you know, and I don’t think I’ll stay.”

Just as Mrs. Copperfield was telling her this, Ben came into the hall and snatched the receiver from Miss Goering’s hand. “What’s this about, for Christ’s sake?” he demanded.

Miss Goering asked Mrs. Copperfield to hold on a moment. “I am calling a woman friend,” she said to Ben, “a woman whom I haven’t seen in quite some time. She is a lively person and I thought she might like to come down and have a drink with me. I was growing lonely at my table.”

“Hello,” Ben shouted into the phone, “are you coming down here?”

“By all means and tout de suite, ” Mrs. Copperfield answered. “I adore her.”

Ben seemed satisfied and returned the receiver to Miss Goering without saying a word. Before leaving the hall, however, he announced to Miss Goering that he was not going to take on two women. She nodded and resumed her conversation with Mrs. Copperfield. She told her the address of the restaurant which the waiter had written down for her, and said good-by.

About half an hour later Mrs. Copperfield arrived, accompanied by a woman whom Miss Goering had never seen before. She was dismayed at the sight of her old friend. She was terribly thin and she appeared to be suffering from a skin eruption. Mrs. Copperfield’s friend was fairly attractive, Miss Goering thought, but her hair was far too wiry for her own taste. Both women were dressed expensively and in black.

“There she is,” Mrs. Copperfield screamed, grabbing Pacifica by the hand and running over to Miss Goering’s table.

“I can’t tell you how delighted I am that you called,” she said. “You are the one person in the world I wanted to have see me. This is Pacifica. She is with me in my apartment.”

Miss Goering asked them to sit down.

“Listen,” said Pacifica to Miss Goering, “I have a date with a boy very far uptown. It is wonderful to see you, but he will be very nervous and unhappy. She can talk to you and I’ll go and see him now. You are great friends, she told me.”

Mrs. Copperfield rose to her feet. “Pacifica,” she said, “you must stay here and have drinks first. This is a miracle and you must be in on it.”

“It is so late now that I will be in a damned mess if I don’t go right away. She would not come here alone,” Pacifica said to Miss Goering.

“Remember, you promised to come and get me afterwards,” said Mrs. Copperfield. “I will telephone you as soon as Christina is ready to leave.”

Pacifica said good-by and hurried out of the room.

“What do you think of her?” Mrs. Copperfield asked Miss Goering, but without waiting for an answer she called for the waiter and ordered two double whiskies. “What do you think of her?” she repeated.

“Where’s she from?”

“She is a Spanish girl from Panama, and the most wonderful character that has ever existed. We don’t make a move without each other. I am completely satisfied and contented.”

“I should say, though, that you are a little run down,” said Miss Goering, who was frankly worried about her friend.

“I’ll tell you,” said Mrs. Copperfield, leaning over the table and suddenly looking very tense. “I am a little worried — not terribly worried, because I shan’t allow anything to happen that I don’t want to happen — but I am a little worried because Pacifica has met this blond boy who lives way uptown and he has asked her to marry him. He never says anything and he has a very weak character. But I think he has bewitched her because he pays her compliments all the time. I’ve gone up to his apartment with her, because I won’t allow them to be alone, and she has cooked dinner for him twice. He’s crazy for Spanish food and eats ravenously of every dish she puts in front of him.”

Mrs. Copperfield leaned back and stared intently into Miss Goering’s eyes.

“I am taking her back to Panama as soon as I am able to book passage on a boat.” She ordered another double whisky. “Well, what do you think of it?” she asked eagerly.

“Perhaps you’d better wait and see whether or not she really wants to marry him.”

“Don’t be insane,” said Mrs. Copperfield. “I can’t live without her, not for a minute. I’d go completely to pieces.”

“But you have gone to pieces, or do I misjudge you dreadfully?”

“True enough,” said Mrs. Copperfield, bringing her fist down on the table and looking very mean. “I have gone to pieces, which is a thing I’ve wanted to do for years. I know I am as guilty as I can be, but I have my happiness, which I guard like a wolf, and I have authority now and a certain amount of daring, which, if you remember correctly, I never had before.”

Mrs. Copperfield was getting drunk and looking more disagreeable.

“I remember,” said Miss Goering, “that you used to be somewhat shy, but I dare say very courageous. It would take a good deal of courage to live with a man like Mr. Copperfield, whom I gather you are no longer living with. I’ve admired you very much indeed. I am not sure that I do now.”

“That makes no difference to me,” said Mrs. Copperfield. “I feel that you have changed anyway and lost your charm. You seem stodgy to me now and less comforting. You used to be so gracious and understanding; everyone thought you were light in the head, but I thought you were extremely instinctive and gifted with magic powers.” She ordered another drink and sat brooding for a moment.

“You will contend,” she continued in a very clear voice, “that all people are of equal importance, but although I love Pacifica very much, I think it is obvious that I am more important.”

Miss Goering did not feel that she had any right to argue this point with Mrs. Copperfield.

“I understand how you feel,” she said, “and perhaps you are right.”

“Thank God,” said Mrs. Copperfield, and she took Miss Goering’s hand in her own.

“Christina,” she pleaded, “please don’t cross me again, I can’t bear it.”

Miss Goering hoped that Mrs. Copperfield would now question her concerning her own life. She had a great desire to tell someone everything that had happened during the last year. But Mrs. Copperfield sat gulping down her drink, occasionally spilling a little of it over her chin. She was not even looking at Miss Goering and they sat for ten minutes in silence.

“I think,” said Mrs. Copperfield at last, “that I will telephone Pacifica and tell her to call for me in three quarters of an hour.”

Miss Goering showed her to the phone and returned to the table. She looked up after a moment and noticed that another man had joined Ben and his friends. When her friend returned from the telephone, Miss Goering saw immediately that something was very much the matter. Mrs. Copperfield fell into her seat.

“She says that she does not know when she is coming down, and if she is not here by the time you feel like leaving, I am to return home with you, or all alone by myself. It’s happened to me now, hasn’t it? But the beauty of me is that I am only a step from desperation all the time and I am one of the few people I know who could perform an act of violence with the greatest of ease.”

She waved her hand over her head.

“Acts of violence are generally performed with ease,” said Miss Goering. She was at this point completely disgusted with Mrs. Copperfield, who rose from her seat and walked in a crooked path over to the bar. There she stood taking drink after drink without turning her little head which was almost completely hidden by the enormous fur collar on her coat.