Jane Bowles - My Sister's Hand in Mine - The Collected Works of Jane Bowles

VIVIAN Lionel, what were you saying before about policies?

LIONEL When?

VIVIAN Today, before lunch. You said, “What are your policies” or something crazy like that?

LIONEL Oh, yes. It’s just … I’m mixed up about my own policies, so I like to know how other people’s are getting along.

VIVIAN Well, I’m for freedom and a full exciting life! ( Pointedly to MOLLY’S back ) I’m a daredevil. It frightens my mother out of her wits, but I love excitement!

LIONEL Do you always do what gives you pleasure?

VIVIAN Whenever I can, I do.

LIONEL What about conflicts?

VIVIAN What do you mean?

LIONEL Being pulled different ways and not knowing which to choose.

VIVIAN I don’t have those. I always know exactly what I want to do. When I have a plan in my head I get so excited I can’t sleep.

LIONEL Maybe it would be a stroke of luck to be like you. I have nothing but conflicts. For instance, one day I think I ought to give up the world and be a religious leader, and the next day I’ll turn right around and think I ought to throw myeslf deep into politics. (VIVIAN, bored, starts untying her beach shoes ) There have been ecclesiastics in my family before. I come from a gloomy family. A lot of the men seem to have married crazy wives. Five brothers out of six and a first cousin did. My uncle’s first wife boiled a cat alive in the upstairs kitchen.

VIVIAN What do you mean, the upstairs kitchen?

LIONEL We had the top floor fitted out as an apartment and the kitchen upstairs was called the upstairs kitchen.

VIVIAN ( Hopping to her feet ) Oh, well, let’s stop talking dull heavy stuff. I’m going to swim.

LIONEL All right.

VIVIAN ( Archly ) Good-bye, Molly.

( She runs off stage in the direction of the cove. MOLLY sits on rock. )

LIONEL ( Goes over and sits next to her ) Doesn’t the ocean make you feel gloomy when the sky is gray or when it starts getting dark out?

MOLLY I don’t guess it does.

LIONEL Well, in the daytime, if it’s sunny out and the ocean’s blue it puts you in a lighter mood, doesn’t it?

MOLLY When it’s blue …

LIONEL Yes, when it’s blue and dazzling. Don’t you feel happier when it’s like that?

MOLLY I don’t guess I emphasize that kind of thing.

LIONEL I see. ( Thoughtfully ) Well, how do you feel about the future? Are you afraid of the future in the back of your mind?

MOLLY I don’t guess I emphasize that much either.

LIONEL Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who looks forward to the future. Have you got some kind of ambition?

MOLLY Not so far. Have you?

LIONEL I’ve got two things I think I should do, like I told Vivian. But they’re not exactly ambitions. One’s being a religious leader, the other’s getting deep into politics. I don’t look forward to either one of them.

MOLLY Then you’d better not do them.

LIONEL I wish it was that simple. I’m not an easygoing type. I come from a gloomy family … I dread being a minister in a way because it brings you so close to death all the time. You would get too deep in to ever forget death and eternity again, as long as you lived — not even for an afternoon. I think that even when you were talking with your friends or eating or joking, it would be there in the back of your mind. Death, I mean … and eternity. At the same time I think I might have a message for a parish if I had one.

MOLLY What would you tell them?

LIONEL Well, that would only come through divine inspiration, after I made the sacrifice and joined up.

MOLLY Oh.

LIONEL I get a feeling of dread in my stomach about being a political leader too … That should cheer me up more, but it doesn’t. You’d think I really liked working at the Lobster Bowl.

MOLLY Don’t you?

LIONEL Yes, I do, but of course that isn’t life. I have fun too, in between worrying … fun, dancing, and eating, and swimming … and being with you. I like to be with you because you seem to only half hear me. I think I could say just the opposite and it wouldn’t sound any different to you. Now why do I like that? Because it makes me feel very peaceful. Usually if I tell my feelings to a person I don’t want to see them any more. That’s another peculiar quirk of mine. Also there’s something very familiar about you, even though I never met you before two months ago. I don’t know what it is quite … your face … your voice … ( Taking her hand ) or maybe just your hand. ( Holds her hand for a moment, deep in thought ) I hope I’m not going to dread it all for too long. Because it doesn’t feel right to me, just working at the Lobster Bowl. It’s nice though really … Inez is always around if you want company. She can set up oyster cocktails faster than anyone on the coast. That’s what she claims, anyway. She has some way of checking. You’d like Inez.

MOLLY I don’t like girls.

LIONEL Inez is a grown-up woman. A kind of sturdy rock-of-Gibraltar type but very high strung and nervous too. Every now and then she blows up. (MOLLY rises suddenly and crosses to the rock ) Well, I guess it really isn’t so interesting to be there, but it is outside of the world and gloomy ideas. Maybe it’s the decorations. It doesn’t always help though, things come creeping in anyway.

MOLLY ( Turning to LIONEL) What?

LIONEL Well, like what ministers talk about … the valley of the Shadow of Death and all that … or the world comes creeping in. I feel like it’s a warning that I shouldn’t stay too long. That I should go back to St. Louis. It would be tough though. Now I’m getting too deep in. I suppose you live mainly from day to day. That’s the way girls live mainly, isn’t it?

MOLLY ( Crossing back to LIONEL) I don’t know. I’m all right as long as I can keep from getting mad. It’s hard to keep from getting mad when you see through people. Most people can’t like I do. I’d emphasize that all right. The rest of the stuff doesn’t bother me much. A lot of people want to yank you out and get in themselves. Girls do anyway. I haven’t got anything against men. They don’t scheme the way girls do. But I keep to myself as much as I can.

LIONEL Well, there’s that angle too, but my point of view is different. Have you thought any more about marrying me if your mother marries Mr. Solares? I know we’re both young, but you don’t want to go to business school and she’s sure to send you there if she marries him. She’s always talking about it. She’d be in Mexico most of the year and you’d be in business school. We could live over the Lobster Bowl and get all the food we wanted free, and it’s good food. Mr. Solares and Mrs. Lopez liked it when they went to eat there.

MOLLY Yes, I know they did.

LIONEL Well?

MOLLY I won’t think of it until it happens. I can’t picture anything being any different than it is. I feel I might just plain die if everything changes, but I don’t imagine it will.

LIONEL You should look forward to change.

MOLLY I don’t want anything different.

LIONEL Then you are afraid of the future just like me.

MOLLY ( Stubbornly ) I don’t think much about the future.

(VIVIAN returns from her swim. )

LIONEL ( To MOLLY) Well, even if you don’t think much about the future you have to admit that …

( He is interrupted by VIVIAN who rushes up to them, almost stumbling in her haste. )

VIVIAN ( Plopping down next to LIONEL and shaking out her wet hair ) Wait ’til you hear this…! (LIONEL is startled. VIVIAN is almost swooning with delight, to LIONEL) It’s so wonderful … I can hardly talk about it … I saw the whole thing in front of my eyes … Just now while I was swimming …