Jane Bowles - My Sister's Hand in Mine - The Collected Works of Jane Bowles

MRS. LOPEZ ( Laughing and whispering to FREDERICA, who goes off into hysterics, and then delving into a shopping bag which lies beside her on the grass. In a very gay voice ) This is what you gonna get if you make a wedding. ( She pulls out a paper bag and hurls it at GERTRUDE’S head with the gesture of a baseball pitcher. The bag splits and spills rice all over GERTRUDE. There is general hilarity and even a bit of singing on the part of ESPERANZA and the hags. MR. LOPEZ yells above the noise ) Rice!

GERTRUDE ( Standing up and flicking rice from her shoulders ) Stop it! Please! Stop it! I can’t stand this racket … Really. ( She is genuinely upset. They subside gradually. Bewildered, she looks out over the land toward the road ) Something is coming down the road … It must be my boarder … No … She would be coming in an automobile. ( Pause ) Gracious! It certainly is no boarder, but what is it?

MRS. LOPEZ Friend come and see you?

GERTRUDE ( Bewildered, staring hard ) No, it’s not a friend. It’s … ( She stares harder ) It’s some sort of king — and others.

MRS. LOPEZ ( To her brother ) ¿Qué?

MR. SOLARES ( Absently absorbed in his food ) King. Un rey y otros más …

MRS. LOPEZ ( Nodding ) Un rey y otros más.

( Enter LIONEL, bearing a cardboard figure larger than himself, representing Neptune, with flowing beard, crown and sceptre, etc. He is followed by two or more other figure bearers, carrying representations of a channel swimmer and a mermaid. LIONEL stops at the gate and dangles into the garden a toy lobster which he has tied to the line of a real fishing rod. The music dies down. )

LIONEL Advertisement.

( He bobs the lobster up and down. )

GERTRUDE For what?

LIONEL For the Lobster Bowl … It’s opening next week. ( Pointing ) That figure there represents a mermaid and the other one is Neptune, the sea god. This is a lobster … ( He shakes the rod ) Everything connected with the sea in some capacity. Can we have a glass of water?

GERTRUDE Yes. ( Calling ) Molly! Molly!

MOLLY ( From inside the house ) What is it?

GERTRUDE Come out here immediately. ( To LIONEL) Excuse me but I think your figures are really awful. I don’t like advertising schemes anyway.

LIONEL I have nothing to do with them. I just have to carry them around a few more days and then after that I’ll be working at the Bowl. I’m sorry you don’t like them.

GERTRUDE I’ve always hated everything that was larger than life size.

(LIONEL opens the gate and enters the garden, followed by the other figure bearers. The garden by now has a very cluttered appearance. The servants, MRS. LOPEZ and FREDERICA have been gaping at the figures in silence since their arrival. )

MRS. LOPEZ ( Finding her tongue ) ¡Una maravilla!

FREDERICA Ay, sí.

( She is nearly swooning with delight. Enter MOLLY. She stops short when she sees the figures. )

MOLLY Oh … What are those?

LIONEL Advertisements. This is Neptune, the old god.

(MOLLY approaches the figures slowly and touches Neptune. )

MOLLY It’s beautiful …

LIONEL Here’s a little lobster.

( He dangles it into MOLLY’S open palm. )

MOLLY It looks like a real lobster. It even has those long threads sticking out over its eyes.

GERTRUDE Antennae.

MOLLY Antennae.

LIONEL ( Pulling another little lobster from his pocket and handing it to MOLLY) Here. Take this one. I have a few to give away.

MOLLY Oh, thank you very much.

( There followed a heated argument between FREDERICA and MRS. LOPEZ , who is trying to force FREDERICA to ask for a lobster too. They almost come to blows and finally MRS. LOPEZ gives FREDERICA a terrific shove which sends her stumbling over toward LIONEL and MOLLY.)

MRS. LOPEZ ( Calling out to LIONEL) Give my girl a little fish please!

(LIONEL digs reluctantly into his pocket and hands FREDERICA a little lobster. She takes it and returns to her mother, stubbing her toe in her confusion. )

GERTRUDE ( Craning her neck and looking out over the lane toward the road ) There’s a car stopping. This really must be my boarder. ( She looks down into the garden with an expression of consternation on her face ) The garden is a wreck. Mr. Solares, can’t your servants organize this mess? Quickly, for heaven’s sake. ( She looks with disgust at MR. SOLARES , who is still eating, but holds her tongue. Enter VIVIAN, a young girl of fifteen with wild reddish gold hair. She is painfully thin and her eyes appear to pop out of her head with excitement. She is dressed in bright colors and wears high heels. She is followed by a chauffeur carrying luggage ) And get those figures out of sight!

VIVIAN ( Stopping in the road and staring at the house intently for a moment ) The house is heavenly!

(MOLLY exits rapidly. )

GERTRUDE Welcome, Vivian Constable. I’m Gertrude Eastman Cuevas. How was your trip?

VIVIAN Stinky. ( Gazing with admiration into the garden packed with people ) And your garden is heavenly too.

GERTRUDE The garden is a wreck at the moment.

VIVIAN Oh, no! It’s fascinating.

GERTRUDE You can’t possibly tell yet.

VIVIAN Oh, but I can. I decide everything the first minute. It’s a fascinating garden.

( She smiles at everyone. MR. SOLARES spits chicken skin out of his mouth onto the grass. )

MRS. LOPEZ Do you want some spaghetti?

VIVIAN Not yet, thank you. I’m too excited.

GERTRUDE ( To MR. SOLARES) Will you show Miss Constable and the chauffeur into the house, Mr. Solares? I’ll meet you at the top of the stairs.

( She exits hurriedly into the house, but MR. SOLARES continues gnawing on his bone not having paid the slightest attention to GERTRUDE’S request. Enter MRS. CONSTABLE, VIVIAN’S mother. She is wearing a distinguished city print, gloves, hat and veil. She is frail like her daughter but her coloring is dull. )

VIVIAN ( Spying her mother. Her expression immediately hardens ) Why did you get out of the taxi? You promised at the hotel that you wouldn’t get out if I allowed you to ride over with me. You promised me once in the room and then again on the porch. Now you’ve gotten out. You’re dying to spoil the magic. Go back … Don’t stand there looking at the house. (MRS. CONSTABLE puts her fingers to her lips entreating silence, shakes her head at VIVIAN and scurries off stage after nodding distractedly to the people on the lawn ) She can’t keep a promise.

GERTRUDE ( Coming out onto the balcony again and spotting MR. SOLARES, still eating on the grass ) What is the matter with you, Mr. Solares? I asked you to show Miss Constable and the chauffeur into the house and you haven’t budged an inch. I’ve been waiting at the top of the stairs like an idiot.

(MR. SOLARES scrambles to his feet and goes into the house followed by VIVIAN and the chauffeur. Enter MRS. CONSTABLE again. )

MRS. CONSTABLE ( Coming up to the hedge and leaning over. To MRS. LOPEZ) Forgive me but I would like you to tell Mrs. Eastman Cuevas that I am at the Herons Hotel. (MRS. LOPEZ nods absently. MRS. CONSTABLE continues in a scarcely audible voice ) You see, Mrs. Eastman Cuevas comes from the same town that I come from and through mutual friends I heard that she took in boarders these days, so I wrote her that Vivian my daughter was coming.