Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

I never wish’d my good Friend the QUAKER out of my Company before now ; but indeed, I wou’d have given some Guineas to have been rid of her just now ; for beginning to be curious in the comparing the two Dresses, she innocently began a Description of mine ; and nothing terrify’d me so much, as the Apprehension lest she shou’d importune me to show it, which I was resolv’d I wou’d never agree to.

But before it came to this, she press’d my Girl to describe the Tyhaia , or Head-dress; which she did so cleverly, that the QUAKER cou’d not help saying, Mine was just such a-one ; and after several other Similitudes, all very vexatious to me, out comes the kind Motion to me, to let the Ladies see my Dress ; and they join’d their eager Desires of it, even to Importunity.

I desir’d to be excus’d; tho’ I had little to say at first, why I declin’d it; but at last, it came into my Head to say, It was pack’d up with my other Cloaths that I had least Occassion for, in order to be sent on-board the Captain’s Ship ; but that if we liv’d to come to Holland together, (which, by the way , I resolv’d shou’d never happen) then, I told them , at unpacking my Cloaths, they shou’d see me dress’d in it; but they must not expect I shou’d dance in it, like the Lady Roxana , in all her fine things.

This carry’d it off pretty well; and getting over this, got over most of the rest, and I began to be easie again; and, in a word , that I may dismiss the Story too, as soon as may be, I got-rid at last, of my Visitors, who I had wish’d gone two Hours sooner than they intended it.

As soon as they were gone, I run up to Amy , and gave Vent to my Passions, by telling her the whole Story, and letting her see what Mischiefs one false Step of hers had like, unluckily, to have involv’d us all in, more perhaps, than we cou’d ever have liv’d to get through: Amy was sensible of it enough, and was just giving her Wrath a Vent another way, viz . by calling the poor Girl all the damn’d Jades and Fools, (and sometimes worse Names) that she cou’d think of; in the middle of which, up comes my honest good QUAKER, and put an end to our Discourse: The QUAKER came in smiling, (for she was always soberly chearful), Well , says she, Thou art deliver’d at last; I come to joy thee of it; I perceiv’d thou wer’t tir’d grievously of thy Visitors .

Indeed , says I, so I was ; that foolish young Girl held us all in a Canterbury Story, [350] a Canterbury Story : The expression, derived from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales , means a long, tedious story. I thought she wou’d never have done with it: Why truly, I thought she was very careful to let thee know she was but a Cookmaid: Ay, says I , and at a Gaming-House, or Gaming-Ordinary, and at t’other-end of the Town too; all which (by the way) she might know, wou’d add very little to her Good-Name among us Citizens. [351] Citizens : those who dwelt in or near the City of London (mainly tradesmen, shopkeepers, and bankers), as opposed to the gentry living in the fashionable West End of London. The term (often abbreviated as cits.) was frequently used contemptuously, though here Roxana uses it as a term of approval.

I can’t think, says the QUAKER, but she had some other Drift in that long Discourse; there’s something else in her Head, says she , I am satisfy’d of that: Thought I , are you satisfy’d of it? I am sure I am the less satisfy’d for that at least , ’tis but small Satisfaction [352] satisfy’d… Satisfaction : Roxana plays on two meanings of ‘to satisfy’, namely, ‘to convince’ and ‘to be contented with’. to me, to hear you say so: What can this be? says I ; and when will my Uneasiness have an end? But this was silent, and to myself, you may be sure : But in Answer to my Friend the QUAKER, I return’d, by asking her a Question or two about it: As what she thought was in it? and why she thought there was any-thing in it? For, says I , she can have nothing in it relating to me.

Nay, says the kind QUAKER, if she had any View towards thee , that’s no Business of mine; and I shou’d be far from desiring thee to inform me.

This allarm’d me again; not that I fear’d trusting the good-humour’d Creature with it, if there had been anything of just Suspicion in her; but this Affair was a Secret I car’d not to communicate to any-body: However, I say , this allarm’d me a little; for as I had conceal’d everything from her, I was willing to do so still; but as she cou’d not but gather up abundance of things from the Girl’s Discourse, which look’d towards me, so she was too penetrating to be put-off with such Answers, as might stop another’s Mouth: Only there was this double Felicity in it; first , That she was not Inquisitive to know, or find any-thing out; and not dangerous, if she had known the whole Story: But, as I say , she cou’d not but gather up several Circumstances from the Girl’s Discourse; as particularly, the Name of Amy ; and the several Descriptions of the Turkish Dress, which my Friend the QUAKER had seen, and taken so much Notice of, as I have said above .

As for that, I might have turn’d it off by jesting with Amy , and asking her, who she liv’d with before she came to live with me? but that wou’d not do; for we had unhappily anticipated that way of talking, by having often talk’d how long Amy had liv’d with me; and which was still worse, by having own’d formerly, that I had had Lodgings in the Pallmall ; so that all those things corresponded too well: There was only one thing that help’d me out with the QUAKER, and that was, the Girl’s having reported how rich Mrs. Amy was grown, and that she kept her Coach; now as there might be many more Mrs. Amy’s besides mine , so it was not likely to be my Amy , because she was far from such a Figure as keeping her Coach; and this carry’d it off from the Suspicions which the good Friendly QUAKER might have in her Head.

But as to what she imagin’d the Girl had in her Head, there lay more real Difficulty in that Part, a great-deal; and I was allarm’d at it very much; for my Friend the QUAKER, told me , She observ’d that the Girl was in a great Passion when she talk’d of the Habit, and more when I had been importun’d to show her mine, but declin’d it: She said , She several times perceiv’d her to be in Disorder, and to restrain herself with Great Difficulty; and once or twice she mutter’d to herself, that she had found it out , or, that she wou’d find it out , she cou’d not tell whether; and that she often saw Tears in her Eyes; that when I said my Suit of Turkish Cloaths was put up, but that she shou’d see it when we arriv’d in Holland , she heard her say softly, She wou’d go over on purpose then .

After she had ended her Observations, I added , I observ’d too, that the Girl talk’d and look’d oddly, and that she was mighty Inquisitive, but I cou’d not imagine what it was she aim’d at: Aim’d at, says the QUAKER, ’tis plain to me what she aims at; she believes thou art the same Lady Roxana that danc’d in the Turkish Vest, but she is not certain: Does she believe so! says I ; If I had thought that, I wou’d have put her out of her Pain: Believe so! says the QUAKER, Yes; and I began to believe so too, and shou’d have believ’d so still, if thou had’st not satisfy’d me to the contrary, by thy taking no Notice of it, and by what thou hast said since: Shou’d you have believ’d so? said I, warmly , I am very sorry for that; why, wou’d you have taken me for an Actress , or a French Stage-Player ? No, says the good kind Creature, thou carry’st it too far; as soon as thou mad’st thy Reflections upon her, I knew it cou’d not be; but who cou’d think any other, when she describ’d the Turkish Dress which thou hast here, with the Head-Tire and Jewels; and when she nam’d thy Maid Amy too, and several other Circumstances concurring? I shou’d certainly have believ’d it, said she , if thou had’st not contradicted it; but as soon as I heard thee speak, I concluded it was otherwise: That was very kind, said I , and I am oblig’d to you for doing me so much Justice; ’tis more it seems, than that young talking Creature does: Nay, says the QUAKER, indeed she does not do thee Justice; for she as certainly believes it still, as ever she did: Does she, said I ? Ay, says the QUAKER, and I warrant thee she’ll make thee another Visit about it: Will she, says I ? then I believe I shall downright affront her: No, thou shalt not affront her, says she , (full of her good-humour and Temper) I’ll take that Part off thy hands, for I’ll affront her for thee , and not let her see thee : I thought that was a very kind Offer, but was at a Loss how she wou’d be able to do it; and the Thought of seeing her there again, half distracted me; not knowing what Temper she wou’d come in, much less what Manner to receive her in; but my fast Friend, and constant Comforter, the QUAKER, said , she perceiv’d the Girl was impertinent, and that I had no Inclination to converse with her; and she was resolv’d I shou’d not be troubled with her: But I shall have Occasion to say more of this presently; for this Girl went farther yet, than I thought she had.