Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

I thought her Enquiries so out of the way, says the honest QUAKER, that I gave her not the least Satisfaction; but as I saw by thy Answers on-board the Ship, when she talk’d of thee , that thou did’st not incline to let her be acquainted with thee , so I was resolv’d that she shou’d not be much the wiser for me; and when she ask’d me if thou ever liv’d’st here or there , I always said No ; but that thou wast a Dutch Lady, and was going home again to thy Family, and liv’d Abroad.

I thank’d her very heartily for that Part, and indeed, she serv’d me in it, more than I let her know she did; in a word , she thwarted the Girl so cleverly, that if she had known the whole Affair, she cou’d not have done it better.

But I must acknowledge, all this put me upon the Rack again, and I was quite discourag’d, not at-all doubting but that the Jade had a right Scent of things, and that she knew and remember’d my Face, but had artfully conceal’d her Knowledge of me, till she might perhaps, do it more to my Disadvantage: I told all this to Amy, for she was all the Relief I had : The poor Soul (Amy) was ready to hang herself, that, as she said , she had been the Occasion of it all; and that if I was ruin’d, (which was the word I always us’d to her) she had ruin’d me; and she tormented herself about it so much, that I was sometimes fain to comfort her and myself too.

What Amy vex’d herself at, was chiefly, that she shou’d be surpriz’d so by the Girl, as she call’d her , I mean surpriz’d into a Discovery of herself to the Girl; which indeed, was a false step of Amy’s , and so I had often told her; but ’twas to no Purpose to talk of that now; the Business was, how to get clear of the Girl’s Suspicions, and of the Girl too, for it look’d more threatning every Day, than other; and if I was uneasie at what Amy had told me of her rambling and rattling to her, (Amy) I had a thousand times as much reason to be uneasie now , when she had chopp’d upon me so unhappily as this; and not only had seen my Face, but knew too where I liv’d; what Name I went by, and the like .

And I am not come to the worst of it yet neither; for a few Days after my Friend the QUAKER had made her Visit, and excus’d me on the account of Indisposition; as if they had done it in over and above [327] over and above : great, considerable. Kindness, because they had been been told I was not well, they comes both directly to my Lodgings, to visit me; the Captain’s Wife, and my Daughter, (who she call’d Sister) and the Captain to show them the Place; the Captain only brought them to the Door, put them in, and went away upon some Business.

Had not the kind QUAKER, in a lucky Moment, come running in before them, they had not only clapp’d in [328] clapp’d in : burst in. upon me, in the Parlour, as it had been a Surprize ; but which wou’d have been a thousand times worse, had seen Amy with me; I think if that had happen’d, I had had no Remedy, but to take the Girl by herself, and have made myself known to her, which wou’d have been all Distraction.

But the Quaker, a lucky Creature to me, happen’d to see them come to the Door, before they rung the Bell, and instead of going to let them in, came running in, with some Confusion in her Countenance, and told me who was a-coming; at which, Amy run first, and I after her, and bid the Quaker come up as soon as she had let them in.

I was going to bid her deny me, but it came into my Thoughts, that having been represented so much out of Order, it wou’d have look’d very odd; besides, I knew the honest Quaker, tho’ she wou’d do any-thing else for me, wou’d not LYE for me, and it wou’d have been hard to have desir’d it of her.

After she had let them in, and brought them into the Parlour, she came up to Amy and I , who were hardly out of the Fright, and yet were congratulating one another, that Amy was not surpriz’d again.

They paid their Visit in Form, and I receiv’d them as formally; but took Occasion two or three times to hint, that I was so ill that I was afraid I shou’d not be able to go to Holland, at least , not so soon as the Captain must go off; and made my Compliment, how sorry I was to be disappointed of the Advantage of their Company and Assistance in the Voyage; and sometimes I talk’d as if I thought I might stay till the Captain return’d, and wou’d be ready to go again; then the QUAKER put in, That then I might be too far gone, meaning with-Child , that I shou’d not venture at-all; and then (as if she shou’d be pleas’d with it) added , She hop’d I wou’d stay and Lye-in at her House; so as this carried its own Face [329] Face : disguise or outward show. The phrase ‘carried its own Face with it’ means ‘made the matter appear natural’. with it, ’twas well enough .

But it was now high-time to talk of this to my Husband, which however, was not the greatest Difficulty before me: For after this and other Chat had taken up some time, the young Fool began her Tattle again; and two or three times she brought it in, That I was so like a Lady that she had the Honour to know at the other end of the Town, that she cou’d not put that Lady out of her Mind, when I was by ; and once or twice I fancy’d the Girl was ready to cry; by-and-by she was at it again; and at last, I plainly saw Tears in her Eyes; upon which, I ask’d her if the Lady was dead, because she seem’d to be in some Concern for her , she made me much easier by her Answer, than ever she did before: She said, She did not really know, but she believ’d she was dead .

This, I say , a little reliev’d my Thoughts, but I was soon down again; for after some time, the Jade began to grow Talkative; and as it was plain, that she had told all that her Head cou’d retain of Roxana , and the Days of Joy which I had spent at that Part of the Town, another Accident had like to have blown us all up again.

I was in a kind of Dishabille when they came, having on a loose Robe, like a Morning-Gown, but much after the Italian Way; [330] after the Italian Way : probably like a mantua. See note 103. and I had not alter’d it when I went up, only dress’d my Head [331] my Head : see note 78. a little; and as I had been represented as having been lately very ill, so the Dress was becoming enough for a Chamber.

This Morning-Vest, or Robe, call it as you please , was more shap’d to the Body, than we wear them since, [332] more shap’d to the Body, than we wear them since : The old seventeenth-century woman’s dress, consisting of a skirt and tight-fitting bodice (boned and long-waisted until 1710), gave way in the early eighteenth century to the looser sack (often spelled sac or sacque) introduced from France. showing the Body in its true Shape, and perhaps, a little too plainly, if it had been to be worn where any Men were to come; but among ourselves it was well enough, especially for hot Weather; the Colour was green, figur’d; and the Stuff a French Damask, very rich.

This Gown, or Vest, put the Girl’s Tongue a-running again, and her Sister, as she call’d her , prompted it; for as they both admir’d my Vest, and were taken up much about the Beauty of the Dress; the charming Damask; the noble Trimming, and the like ; my Girl puts in a Word to the Sister, (Captain’s Wife) This is just such a Thing as I told you, says she , the Lady danc’d in: What, says the Captain’s Wife, the Lady Roxana that you told me of? O! that’s a charming Story, says she ; tell it my Lady ;I cou’d not avoid saying so too, tho’ from my Soul I wish’d her in Heaven for but naming it; nay , I won’t say but if she had been carried t’other Way, it had been much at one [333] at one : the same. to me, if I cou’d but have been rid of her, and her Story too; for when she came to describe the Turkish Dress, it was impossible but the QUAKER, who was a sharp penetrating Creature, shou’d receive the Impression in a more dangerous Manner, than the Girl; only that indeed, she was not so dangerous [334] dangerous… dangerous : Defoe plays on the word ‘dangerous’, which Roxana first uses in the sense of ‘particular’ or ‘perceptive’ and then in the sense of ‘threatening’ or ‘vengeful’. The meaning is that the QUAKER, because she had a penetrating intelligence, would certainly see the implications of the Turkish dress even more than the girl, but that this was less alarming because she (the QUAKER) would not use the information to threaten Roxana. a Person; for if she had known it all, I cou’d more freely have trusted her, than I cou’d the Girl, by a great-deal; nay , I shou’d have been perfectly easie in her.