Даниэль Дефо - Roxana

I. That for my Gentleman , who I had now, as I may say , in my Arms; she said , he had been gone from Paris, as I have hinted , having met with some great Losses and Misfortunes; that he had been in Holland on that very Account, whither he had also carried his Children; that he was after that, settl’d for some time, at Roan ; that she had been at Roan , and found there, (by a meer accident) from a Dutch Skipper, that he was at London , had been there above three Years; that he was to be found upon the Exchange , on the French Walk; and that he lodg’d at St. Lawrence Pountney’s-Lane , and the like; so Amy said she suppos’d I might soon find him out; but that she doubted [259] doubted : suspected. he was poor, and not worth looking-after: This she did because of the next Clause, which the Jade had most mind-to, on many Accounts.

II. That as to the Prince —, that, as above , he was gone into Germany , where his Estate lay; that he had quitted the French Service, and liv’d retir’d; that she had seen his Gentleman, who remain’d at Paris , to sollicit his Arrears, [260] to sollicit his Arrears : to attend to collecting his debts. &c . That he had given her an Account how his Lord had employ’d him, to enquire for me, and find me out, as above , and told her what Pains he had taken to find me; that he had understood that I was gone to England ; that he once had Orders to go to England to find me; that his Lord had resolv’d, if he cou’d have found me, to have call’d me a Countess , and so have marry’d me, and have carry’d me into Germany with him; and that his Commission was still to assure me, that the Prince wou’d marry me, if I wou’d come to him; and that he wou’d send him an Account that he had found me, and did not doubt but he wou’d have Orders to come over to England to attend me, in a Figure suitable to my Quality.

Amy , an ambitious Jade, who knew my weakest Part, namely , that I lov’d great things, and that I lov’d to be flatter’d and courted; said abundance of kind things upon this Occasion, which she knew were suitable to me, and wou’d prompt my Vanity; and talk’d big of the Prince’s Gentleman having Orders to come over to me, with a Procuration to marry me by Proxy, (as Princes usually do in like Cases) and to furnish me with an Equipage, and I know not how many fine things; but told me withal, that she had not yet let him know that she belong’d to me still, or that she knew where to find me, or to write to me; because she was willing to see the Bottom of it, and whether it was a Reality, or a Gasconade ; [261] a Gasconade : an extravagant story. The natives of Gascony were notorious braggarts. she had indeed, told him, that if he had any such Commission, she wou’d endeavour to find me out; but no more.

III. For the Jew , she assur’d me, that she had not been able to come at a Certainty what was become of him, or in what Part of the World he was; but that thus much she had learn’d from good-hands, that he had committed a Crime, in being concern’d in a Design to rob a rich Banker at Paris ; and that he was fled, and had not been heard-of there for above six Years.

IV. For that of my Husband the Brewer , she learn’d, that being commanded into the Field upon an Occasion of some Action in Flanders , he was wounded at the Battle of Mons , [262] the Battle of Mons : the seige of Mons (1709) occurred in the War of the Spanish Succession (1701–13) and died of his Wounds in the Hospital of the Invalids; [263] Hospital of the Invalids : the Hôtel des Invalides , established in 1670 by Louis XIV as a home for wounded soldiers. so there was an End of my four Enquiries, which I sent her over to make.

This Account of the Prince, and the return of his Affection to me, with all the flattering great things which seem’d to come along with it; and especially, as they came gilded, and set-out by my Maid Amy; I say , this Account of the Prince came to me in a very unlucky Hour, and in the very Crisis of my Affair.

The Merchant and I had enter’d into close Conferences upon the grand Affair; I had left off talking my Platonicks, [264] talking my Platonicks : arguing theoretically. and of my Independency, and being a Free Woman, as before ; and he having clear’d up my Doubts too, as to his Circumstances, and the Misfortunes he had spoken of, I had gone so far, that we had begun to consider where we shou’d live, and in what Figure; what Equipage; what House, and the like .

I had made some Harangues upon the delightful Retirement of a Country-Life, and how we might enjoy ourselves so effectually, without the Incumbrances of Business, and the World; but all this was Grimace , and purely because I was afraid to make any publick Appearance in the World, for fear some impertinent Person of Quality shou’d chop upon [me] again, and cry out, Roxana, Roxana , by —, with an Oath, as had been done before .

My Merchant, bred to Business, and us’d to converse among Men of Business, cou’d hardly tell how to live without it; at least, it appear’d he shou’d be like a Fish out of Water, uneasie and dying; but however, he join’d with me, only argued, that we might live as near London as we cou’d; that he might sometimes come to Change , and hear how the World shou’d go Abroad, and how it far’d with his Friends, and his Children.

I answer’d , That if he chose still to embarrass himself with Business, I suppos’d it wou’d be more to his Satisfaction to be in his own Country, and where his Family was so well known, and where his Children also were.

He smil’d at the Thoughts of that, and let me know , that he shou’d be very willing to embrace such an Offer, but that he cou’d not expect it of me, to whom England was, to be sure , so naturaliz’d now, as that it wou’d be carrying me out of my native Country, which he wou’d not desire by any means, however agreeable it might be to him.

I told him , he was mistaken in me; that as I had told him so much of a Married State being a Captivity, and the Family being a House of Bondage; that when I married, I expected to be but an Upper Servant; so if I did, nothwithstanding, submit to it, I hop’d he shou’d see I knew how to act the Servant’s Part, and do every-thing to oblige my Master; that if I did not resolve to go with him wherever he desir’d to go, he might depend I wou’d never have him; and did I not , said I, offer myself to go with you to the East-Indies?

All this while, this was indeed, but a Copy of my Countenance; [265] a Copy of my Countenance : a pretence or outward show. Roxana is ‘putting on a face’. for as my Circumstances wou’d not admit my Stay in London , at least, not so as to appear publickly; I resolv’d if I took him, to live remote in the Country, or go out of England with him.

But in an evil Hour , just now came Amy’s Letter; in the very middle of all these Discourses; and the fine things she had said about the Prince , began to make strange Work with me; the Notion of being a Princess , and going over to live where all that had happen’d here, wou’d have been quite sunk out of Knowledge, as well as out of Memory, (Conscience excepted) was mighty taking; the Thoughts of being surrounded with Domesticks; honour’d with Titles; be call’d HER HIGHNESS; and live in all the Splendor of a Court; and, which was still more , in the Arms of a Man of such Rank, and who I knew lov’d and valued me; all this, in a word , dazzl’d my Eyes; turn’d my Head; and I was as truly craz’d and distracted for about a Fortnight, as most of the People in Bedlam , [266] Bedlam : properly, Bethlehem hospital, the lunatic asylum in Moorfields. It could be visited for a small sum on Sunday afternoons and was one of the principal sights of London. See Defoe, A Tour through the Whole Island of Great Britain , ed. Pat Rogers (Penguin Books, 1971), p. 329. tho’ perhaps, not quite so far gone.