I was back to normal standing in the living room, the cough medicine smell of heroin wafted in from the kitchen and I followed my nose into the kitchen. Some one I knew was stirring a whole pot of the dirty water of heroin with a big wooden spoon, cigarette filters floating in the mix so they could be sucked up cleanly by a syringe. Pink butterfly wings of the girl fluttered in segments of my mind which was flicking on and off, overpowered by heroin. Her silently laughing face filled the broken movie.
Jane’s proud loving face came close up to mine, then she stood back and danced in her bra and pink silk knickers, with a syringe in her hand, danced from padded foot to padded foot, then up on her toes, then grinding her hips at me, she smiled at the light bulb she danced under, reaching for the light, she squeezed the syringe off, a rainbow forming over her head in refractions of light, she did a sign of the cross with it and captured the bits of falling rainbow on her grinning face so they looked like tears of joy. I came up to her so happy, I had not seen her for fifteen years, I kissed the heroin tears then licked them off, fading in and out of heroin reverie with each kiss and lick with their powerful magical effect.
She stuck out her hands and pushed me over laughing, “Here smell this!” She shouted, straddling my face with her arse she farted and I temporarily lost consciousness in the smell of heroin. I came around and she laughed again, her face now in mine.
We got up and faced each other smiling. She smiled a mum smile and said “Hold me. ” holding out her hands. I hugged her; she said “Hold me tighter; don’t be afraid of hurting me.” I held her tighter; she told me to “Relax!”. We hugged and rocked then uncoupled and she went back to the stove, stirring intently in a stylised way that I thought served no other purpose, occasionally looking back at me and smiling.
I asked her “I didn’t know you were dead?”
She replied with a tight smile “I might as well have been dead to you.”
“So not true!” I said with conviction.
I asked her “Is cooking heroin the sort of thing you do for recreation now?”
She looked up from the low flame on the cooker and said with a smile “No it’s the sort of thing you do for recreation. It killed you didn’t it?”
We went into the living room and she hastily slipped off her bra and panties, hopping backwards on one leg as she did it, apparently oblivious that we had never done the thing we were about to do before. I got undressed just as hastily. My clothes were rubbery but they parted from my body with a bit of peeling.
For the next two hours we made it in every position we could think of, mostly floating to the ceiling. Missionary, doggy, her on top, sixty nine; and a lot in-between and made up on the spot, a lot of architectural humping was done for the most major satisfaction. At one stage my cock hit the light bulb and burst with the heat, she captured droplets on her tongue, then she sculpted my stomach and made me a bigger, better one, smiling with complicity in my eyes as she yanked and moulded it “There that’s all better.” She said rubbing it longer between two flat hands. Then we had straight forward sex all the way one last time and as she came her face changed just a little in personality, although it was still some model of her own variables, and as she came, she shouted in Italian something I did not understand “Tu una sesso dio in piggamo”.
We floated down and she came to land on the settee and I landed in a kneeling position besides her.
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I said you’re a sex god in pyjamas! You make me come!” She replied; fired up like I had never seen her before. “Grande sessualita scimmia”
I was suspicious “Who are you?” I asked.
“Guardare!” She shouted pointing at Allori’s Judith on the wall.
The picture of the unknown Judith who was not Mazzafirri was missing from the wall, Allori’s severed head was hanging in mid air.
“You tricked me!” I said “You’re her historical duplicate, a mere resemblance! God has tricked me!”
She slapped me “So I’m not good enough! You couldn’t tell the difference!”
She started to wrestle with me blushing bright red her body getting hot. She seemed to push when I pulled and pull when I pushed. Like she was guiding me to stretch her out of shape. Her arms wound around her body in the struggle. As she got on top of me and had hold of my hands, she was using my magic to mould her with my hands which just felt like they were struggling. She shrank into her carapace. Her body was now burning me and my fingers fried and sizzled. I broke away and stepped back. One. Two. Three. Four long strides.
I was face to face with a giant four legged crab, her neck less face welded on her shell. She jumped off the couch and took two steps towards me, melting my carpet into tar where ever her feet landed, which surrounded her in black toxic smoke. She spoke to me. “Magic here is will. Your will is strong so he fears you and has not risked trying to destroy you. You will need to solicit my help. I am the scarlet whore won to your side.”
Judith, whore of Babylon, turned one hundred and eighty degrees; burning a circle in the carpet; then drew a five pointed star and disappeared in an explosion of red plasma, in which one imagined or saw shapes as looking into a fire. That is magic and here to imagine is to see the real.
Some one was sitting in the corner of my room rolling a spliff. It was Jay, “Hello Monster” he said, that being my nick name from old.
I was taken aback “What are you doing here, are you dead?”
He had grown back his mop of curly hair, and had the features some one would paint him into a ‘David’ one day. He let out a breath that winded down “Hahhh” He said, “To tell you the truth I don’t know, I met a rather fetching woman of a shade of red, at the pub, and she said you might need some advice that only I could give, but she didn’t say what, if your in any kind of trouble I can still get some of the lads together”
I looked sternly “Hold that thought.” I said.
He continued rolling out a length of cigarette paper from a packet, he reminded me of a tailor sizing up a suit, but I knew he was sizing up the situation and the paper was meditational
I continued “Well the thing is; I have to kill God, but he’s much too strong.”
Jay smiled, it was home territory, the spliff was coming together and so were his thoughts, “Well you see Monster, strength is all mental, take those weight lifters, or when I fought those cops, its up here” he pointed to his head, displacing his curly hair, “when Biggles put his hands right through both sides of the door at the squat”
I butted in, “when I cracked the police handcuffs on LSD because I was scarred”
Jay looked anxious “So you said. Look Monst that had nothing to do with me. But what you did that night, that’s the sort of thing you should, change, you’re a strong bloke, but I bet if you went back to that time, and reinvented what happened, you would be a stronger bloke.”
Warmth flowed off Jay, even though I knew he was a complete psychopath, I warmed off the fire in his eyes but remained cold, so I said coldly rather than warmly, not succumbing to the heat “Yeh what did happen Jay.”
Jay had finished burning some draw into the spliff, putting thought into the careful crumbling, that was really thought about what he was going to say “We will never know, we were all on drugs, and that’s a different world, in your own line, things happened that only made sense in your line, tell me again what happened that night, up until when you left.” Having wrapped things up he wrapped the joint up, licking and sticking it down, no loose ends.
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