I followed Monster down the wing with two officers; one had his arm on Monster’s back. We went through a gate at the end of the wing and down to the medical office. Monster sat down in a twizzy chair “I’ll kill him next time I see him” Monster said twirling in the chair, then he was playing with some blood with his finger, that had fallen on the side desk where lied a medical kit.
He saw his face in it and retreated from the pool, worried by his own fierceness. He tried to scratch it out absently but only succeeded in spreading the blood making his face bigger, and then the reflection grinned at him. Aware that he hadn’t grinned he turned surprised and saw me looking over his shoulder; I put my finger to my lips to shush him.
A medical officer came in. Monster knew the medical staff that attended. An officer in white with glasses and a kind face, who when I got transferred gave me his baccy, said with humour pointing to my eye brow, “your hair will cover that”, and to the side of my head, “And that won’t show”. Monster swore revenge, and at this point I intervened, stopping time for the others and becoming more visible to myself.
“Relax you get him back!” I said, then added “A good solid kick in the head on the hospital wing, and you get commended rather than charged for it, he was a bully.”
Monster looked at me too angry to be disturbed or surprised “Do I die?”
“Not for more than ten years, besides, its not so bad”.
“When do I get out of here?” He asked.
“You don’t want to know?”
“But originally I got bail, its not serious”
“No, but you get stuffed, very badly stuffed”
I continued. “I need you to get an army together, to invade heaven, a rather satanic army then, and here would be a good place to start, many of these people will be dead in a few years, and believe me they’re going to be pissed.”
“Those wings suit me.” Monster said.
I replied “Yeh. How are you doing with inventing new economic and political systems?”
“It passes the time” Monster said.
“The problem is that a lot of these ideas you’re discovering, have their real life historical counterpart, but its like you’re inventing them yourself, so they’re bound to hold some attraction when you discover them later.” I said.
“What, a communist society based on sharing to lower production and increase free time and liberation from property?”
“That’s called usufruct” I said “There’s nothing wrong with that. No I was thinking more of the ‘fusion’ theory you developed. Cancelling out bad feelings through love of the leader, love cancelling out feelings of disempowerment with feelings of empowerment despite giving itself over. The problem is although its rather a clever take on Nietzsche, its very close to the totalitarian fascism of Mussolini, a brilliant if rather psychotic mind, he saw the state as the source of national culture and morality, shaping people in its image, the people thus identifying with their own culture and morality are then expressed through the state, which means whilst they agree they’re empowered by it, by their own super ego if you like.”
“That’s brilliant” Monster said “fucking horrible but brilliant”
I replied “Of course it is because in a way you invented it. God likes it too. Don’t think that sympathy with Hitler’s developing the Aryan race state is going to pan out either, Jane is Roman, not Aryan, blonde hair aside; white supremacists tend to notice things like that. In short you should stick to anti state, communist ideas and steer away from ideas that reconcile class antagonisms. You will go a long way with that.”
“Okay.” Monster said, “What’s this idea about taking on God. What do we have to do to overthrow the bastard?”
“I’m not sure yet, just prepare the ground for me in the future, I might come back in your past and future from time to time, to put a few things right and prepare the way. Now I have to go. Prison is rather depressing.”
With that I turned around and got the chalk out of my pocket, I quickly marked the door with a pentangle and stepped back into my spirit apartment.
My spirit apartment had seemed to grow and I was suspended somewhere in the middle of the room in height. I was wedged and stretched achingly between a row of pillars of ivory something wet and foaming pushed under my feet, giving me temporary relief by lifting them, then they fell back and I ached more, dangling. A wooden spear stabbed me in my side and I was lifted out, I pulled a piece of rotten cabbage away, that had caught over my eyes; and I realised I was suspended by my wound on a toothpick before the face of God, seated in my armchair, having been picked out of his foul grinning teeth.
I flapped my wings and I raced at him, putting in running motion my feet and arms but I did not move off the toothpick, instead my internal organs wrapped around it with the movement and I was roped there on my intestines, as by a row of sausages. God picked them off and dangled them on the giant tongue that had massaged my feet. The pain of the act was intense, burning; he swallowed my innards and grinned between closed teeth “sausages! Cumberland! You needed a shit!”
Still speared, too painful to move, he put me down pressing the toothpick into a cigarette butt in the ashtray, furiously and agonisingly I kicked out, falling over and billowing a cloud of ash that choked me and painted my face, showing him in a grimace my deadly little war mask.
God looked down at me, the veins in his eyes criss-crossed over and over until they stared back at me bright red and welling up with blood. Red tears dripped down his mask face twirling and forming symbols I had seen in the book of Thelema, before changing again into tattooed dollar signs on his cheeks deeply engraining themselves.
God took up a packet of cigarette papers from the table and tore them out one after the other, his snake like pupils looking around the room, occasionally glancing at me and grinning his too sharp teeth. He tore the papers so only thin strands with the gum on were left, then, having done this about ten times, carefully licking some of the papers with his tongue, he bound two cigarettes together in a crucifix, I meanwhile had been in too much pain to move or resist, he wrapped my small hands around the crucifix with more thin strips of gummed paper, then bound my legs to it, and propped me up and secured me in the dog ends in the ashtray.
God took a leafy, loose rolled, cigar out of the breast pocket of his wallpaper/ pinstriped business suit, he pursed his lips attentively at me as if he was going to blow a kiss, then he blew on the cigar lighting it. My nostril’s stung with the sickly burning. “You are important to me; this is what I have to offer you.” He said stretching his arm out and flicking ash on the carpet, then gesturing all around in the cigar smoke with the hand holding the cigar, at shapes of fornicating bodies that disappeared as soon as the eyes focused on them, “All this can be yours.” Forgetting myself I saw an image of me in an athletic sexual position, grinning devilishly at me and I gave the grin back, then I remembered what I was about “Not interested.” I stated “I’ve done all that, you know what I want, if there’s any hope at all I will spare Gods life.”
God stabbed me repeatedly with the end of the cigar between words, burning my body, “You-Just-Don’t-Get-It.” He stabbed at me. The holes in my body smouldered painfully, I spat a glob of spit at him that sailed through the air and lost altitude uselessly; landing on the arm of the chair he was sat in before ever reaching him.
God continued speaking but the stabbing stopped; he got up close to me so I could smell the corpses on his breath, adulterated with the perfumes of all the dead girls I knew. “Its not all one big unity you know. It’s not an atomisation of every one neither like the world I created down there. I have a use for you in the safety of my unbreachable hierarchy, surrounded by the harmony of fools, I am going now, but I will leave you with a taste of the real gifts I have to offer; to refuse or conspire is to invite on yourself the second death.”
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