Jonathan Cottam - The Urban Book of the Dead

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Urban Book of the dead is my second book to be published, after 'The Unrequited Zombie'. It is a rather less experimental work, though still unusual, vivid, and descriptive. I would describe the book as both psychedelic and surreal, being rather pedantic about the use of those two words. That is, if it were surreal I would be dealing with a psychological work, something that looked towards expanding knowledge of the Id, that primitive part of our nature that is repressed by social conventions and the need to plan to get what we want. It is, in that it is self gratifying without recourse to opinion, it is every animalistic urge that can only be released through art, because to do it any other way would have terrible repercussions. Having said that, next to my early work, it is not particularly arty or deep. It is psychedelic because it looks to reaching a higher consciousness by through creativity, to reach a state beyond the normal level of seeing things, it is also psychedelic and surreal in the commonly understood sense, it is 'trippy' and sometimes deals with drugs. It starts like this… "I floated above my body, I was a bubble fit to burst, I squeezed and struggled with my form, my clothes gripping and distorting my figure with their relative solidity, were the same ghost like material as the rest of me. Down below my face stared back at me; distorted and grotesque as the spirit shapes on the bark of trees, I felt my ghost face and it was etched there too, deforming me, chiselled by a million molecules of heroin, I had my wings, hung as from a pin, spread and feathered, and spanning the whole nicotine ceiling. I stared at the blue marbled arm; growing out like the gnarled branch of a tree, the fingers gesturing me towards it, and hanging from it, the syringe full of bubbles, blood and a quicksand of powdered death whirling like a vortex. A spoon lay on the floor and a small bit of cigarette filter in it, all having served a purely symbolic process. It seemed years of injecting powders and stuff flicked down to a dirty lemonade had paid off, perhaps a bubble could kill you after all." The book is I think taking one thing at least to a new level in literature, egomania. That is because the concept of the book is I the authors fight with god who is defeated, whilst at the same time dealing with my real life struggles as I go back through things that really actually happened to me in my drug filled and violent life as a drug dealer and through prison etcetera, and, changing them. I say egomania but again I mean the Id, the ego compromises, the Id does not. It is a very angry book because I am taking back the control that was taken from me, in that, to a very large extent I did not choose my life but it was forced on me, as with all the mishaps of all my dead friends who did not survive, through suicide, alcoholism, heroin overdose and murder. Enter God. God then is a symbol for society, capitalism, and the state, and also, plain bad luck. So is God then not God, is the book not satanic? My interest in black magic personally does not extend to believing in it, or God in any accepted sense either. I believe in magic as will, that Hitler could gain power through will is magic, that people can realise the future not through clairvoyance but precognition, taking in the world around them and understanding consciously or unconsciously where it is all going to lead, that kind of magic I believe, the other sort I only have a fair knowledge of as an interest and I am not a Satanist, that would be a misplacement of effort. "The noise got louder, but lower, rather than higher, so it travelled further and vibrated the walls. Crack's appeared in the walls in the form of a hundred distorted faces of people I had known, adventured and suffered with. A fragment of glass from a picture of 'Judith with the head of Hollerfernes' hit me in my eye, almost bursting my substance, which it settled in like a bloody monocle, magnifying the African tribal Fang mask in the centre of the wall, with its pale long wooden nose and owl like brow, its jutting chin; appeared to grow eyes that searched with the deepest hideous depth around my room and the dead body of me whose 'nakedness' I wanted to cover from the gaze. The mask bowed and came out of the wall, after it a huge body wearing the blue pinstripes of my wall paper and looking every bit the business man, come to settle my accounts, I was not about to make it easy. The scrambled voices became one, the word "Jonathan!" boomed. This was God, this was the confrontation I had been waiting for my whole life." The meaning of that is obvious in the pinstriped suit I think, but also a little later the meaning and symbolism is made totally obvious. "God spoke "I am the unity, I am the morals and the law, think like me and my triumphs will be your triumphs because there will be no difference, surrender all self generated thought of conflict, all difference is imaginary, it is not held and is alien to mind." I replied simply, my head turned to him from my place on the ceiling, "I am my desire." -A little later it gets really obvious. "With haste I flew forward and stabbed God in the eyes with my fingers, which flattened against the harder substance of Gods eyes, I cried out "This is for poverty, this is for the atomisation of life, this is for your prisons and the police, for all my friends who are lost yet alive, and all those you sent to hell which is a place on Earth. This is for everything." Soon events from the past unfold, and people I knew come into the picture such as Jay. Jay was a traveller; that is he moved from town to town, lived rough and begged. He had the unnerving attribute of being both friendly, warm, and a complete psychopath, loyal and perverse, he was a real good character for a book. I meet Jay again fishing in Hell. "I dropped my line in the molten lead from my rod. Immediately the rod bent almost double, despite its thickness. It pulled so hard I estimated that what ever was on the end must have been over two hundred pounds. I reeled in my rod and a giant fish splashed on the end of it, it looked like some kind of gigantic roach, its tail splashing molten lead at me as its body curved in the waves trying to get away. I landed the fish in the boat and it suffocated there its mouth open and body heaving, I marvelled at the square scales on its silver body, bigger than my hands. As I stood fascinated, the body of the fish, distorted as if something inside was trying to push its way out, a fist punched its way through, then two hands, pulled the fish apart, then before me was the crouched naked body of Jay, covered in a stinky fish slime, he held his nose and spoke nasally. "Hello Monster!" he said smoothly. Jay stood up tall, rocking only slightly; and threw chunks of fish in the water, now without the protection of its tough outer layers, the bits of fish flamed up as they entered the sea, with puffs of flame and billows of smoke. He held the rest of the carcass above his head, his arms at full length, and chucked that in after it; there was a huge flaming that threatened to engulf the boat, but it went out fast. I was pleased to see Jay, I had him picked out as my right hand man, there was something about him that persuaded you to trust him at the same time as acknowledging he wasn't entirely trust worthy, a slightly sly warmth, a look in the eyes that said he was tough and dependable, but somehow self centred. But, however he was useful, very handy; a good person to know. I asked a searching question. "How are you here? As far as I know you're still alive." Jay looked at me long and hard "Doesn't bloody look like it does it Monster. In Hell as well. What did I do to deserve that? A few fights, drug dealing, a couple of rich burglaries, fucking a tree on LSD, underage sex and a sexual assault in McDonalds that was nothing but feeling some ones leg, and I'm in Hell." Yes, he was really like that and he did all those things. The character of Jay is a rich part of the book, to which I am indebted to knowing him, not that many people will ever read it, but I live to write, quite literally. Another theme of the book is the yearning for togetherness, community, against the very real need for individuality, adventure and subjectivity. The two themes run through every religion, philosophy and form of politics to a varying degree of scientific application. It is not as simple as one or the other and both sides in the book take both approaches. There is no answer in human nature between the two, it is irreconcilable and all we can do is draw attention theoretically to the issue between fascism and anarchism, individuality and togetherness, though we do find more honest and liveable conditions in libertarianism than dictatorial politics. The problem between wanting togetherness and a shared identity, but being repulsed at having to give up subjectivity so pervades the book that many characters rebel against the human form, whilst not giving up the need for community, and become many headed monsters. But, the book insists, the need for adventure is the unifying theory that makes sense of our misery and creates a symbiosis between the conflicting forces. "As the ship rowed closer I realised it was the rule of these creatures, my brave men which is what they were, to reject the human form given by God for those of their own imagination, and to conjoin like the ultimate pack of animals, or; what I had seen in human riots when a crowd does indeed become a single and very different animal than the sum of its parts. I saw men who had formed their joints together to form the bodies of double kneed, twelve-foot men with two heads. Two had done that. The dragon with seven necks and six heads was also there, waiting in futility for my strange communion, for I was still attached to the human form, it still represented for me a thing of beauty and free autonomy." The book is all about conflict, but as Buddhists say, all conflict is imaginary, so I think, we are all in a state of symbiosis in a world where assistance between organisms is the norm even when it appears in the form of its opposite. That's all I want to say about the book.

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I followed Monster down the wing with two officers; one had his arm on Monster’s back. We went through a gate at the end of the wing and down to the medical office. Monster sat down in a twizzy chair “I’ll kill him next time I see him” Monster said twirling in the chair, then he was playing with some blood with his finger, that had fallen on the side desk where lied a medical kit.

He saw his face in it and retreated from the pool, worried by his own fierceness. He tried to scratch it out absently but only succeeded in spreading the blood making his face bigger, and then the reflection grinned at him. Aware that he hadn’t grinned he turned surprised and saw me looking over his shoulder; I put my finger to my lips to shush him.

A medical officer came in. Monster knew the medical staff that attended. An officer in white with glasses and a kind face, who when I got transferred gave me his baccy, said with humour pointing to my eye brow, “your hair will cover that”, and to the side of my head, “And that won’t show”. Monster swore revenge, and at this point I intervened, stopping time for the others and becoming more visible to myself.

“Relax you get him back!” I said, then added “A good solid kick in the head on the hospital wing, and you get commended rather than charged for it, he was a bully.”

Monster looked at me too angry to be disturbed or surprised “Do I die?”

“Not for more than ten years, besides, its not so bad”.

“When do I get out of here?” He asked.

“You don’t want to know?”

“But originally I got bail, its not serious”

“No, but you get stuffed, very badly stuffed”

I continued. “I need you to get an army together, to invade heaven, a rather satanic army then, and here would be a good place to start, many of these people will be dead in a few years, and believe me they’re going to be pissed.”

“Those wings suit me.” Monster said.

I replied “Yeh. How are you doing with inventing new economic and political systems?”

“It passes the time” Monster said.

“The problem is that a lot of these ideas you’re discovering, have their real life historical counterpart, but its like you’re inventing them yourself, so they’re bound to hold some attraction when you discover them later.” I said.

“What, a communist society based on sharing to lower production and increase free time and liberation from property?”

“That’s called usufruct” I said “There’s nothing wrong with that. No I was thinking more of the ‘fusion’ theory you developed. Cancelling out bad feelings through love of the leader, love cancelling out feelings of disempowerment with feelings of empowerment despite giving itself over. The problem is although its rather a clever take on Nietzsche, its very close to the totalitarian fascism of Mussolini, a brilliant if rather psychotic mind, he saw the state as the source of national culture and morality, shaping people in its image, the people thus identifying with their own culture and morality are then expressed through the state, which means whilst they agree they’re empowered by it, by their own super ego if you like.”

“That’s brilliant” Monster said “fucking horrible but brilliant”

I replied “Of course it is because in a way you invented it. God likes it too. Don’t think that sympathy with Hitler’s developing the Aryan race state is going to pan out either, Jane is Roman, not Aryan, blonde hair aside; white supremacists tend to notice things like that. In short you should stick to anti state, communist ideas and steer away from ideas that reconcile class antagonisms. You will go a long way with that.”

“Okay.” Monster said, “What’s this idea about taking on God. What do we have to do to overthrow the bastard?”

“I’m not sure yet, just prepare the ground for me in the future, I might come back in your past and future from time to time, to put a few things right and prepare the way. Now I have to go. Prison is rather depressing.”

With that I turned around and got the chalk out of my pocket, I quickly marked the door with a pentangle and stepped back into my spirit apartment.

My spirit apartment had seemed to grow and I was suspended somewhere in the middle of the room in height. I was wedged and stretched achingly between a row of pillars of ivory something wet and foaming pushed under my feet, giving me temporary relief by lifting them, then they fell back and I ached more, dangling. A wooden spear stabbed me in my side and I was lifted out, I pulled a piece of rotten cabbage away, that had caught over my eyes; and I realised I was suspended by my wound on a toothpick before the face of God, seated in my armchair, having been picked out of his foul grinning teeth.

I flapped my wings and I raced at him, putting in running motion my feet and arms but I did not move off the toothpick, instead my internal organs wrapped around it with the movement and I was roped there on my intestines, as by a row of sausages. God picked them off and dangled them on the giant tongue that had massaged my feet. The pain of the act was intense, burning; he swallowed my innards and grinned between closed teeth “sausages! Cumberland! You needed a shit!”

Still speared, too painful to move, he put me down pressing the toothpick into a cigarette butt in the ashtray, furiously and agonisingly I kicked out, falling over and billowing a cloud of ash that choked me and painted my face, showing him in a grimace my deadly little war mask.

God looked down at me, the veins in his eyes criss-crossed over and over until they stared back at me bright red and welling up with blood. Red tears dripped down his mask face twirling and forming symbols I had seen in the book of Thelema, before changing again into tattooed dollar signs on his cheeks deeply engraining themselves.

God took up a packet of cigarette papers from the table and tore them out one after the other, his snake like pupils looking around the room, occasionally glancing at me and grinning his too sharp teeth. He tore the papers so only thin strands with the gum on were left, then, having done this about ten times, carefully licking some of the papers with his tongue, he bound two cigarettes together in a crucifix, I meanwhile had been in too much pain to move or resist, he wrapped my small hands around the crucifix with more thin strips of gummed paper, then bound my legs to it, and propped me up and secured me in the dog ends in the ashtray.

God took a leafy, loose rolled, cigar out of the breast pocket of his wallpaper/ pinstriped business suit, he pursed his lips attentively at me as if he was going to blow a kiss, then he blew on the cigar lighting it. My nostril’s stung with the sickly burning. “You are important to me; this is what I have to offer you.” He said stretching his arm out and flicking ash on the carpet, then gesturing all around in the cigar smoke with the hand holding the cigar, at shapes of fornicating bodies that disappeared as soon as the eyes focused on them, “All this can be yours.” Forgetting myself I saw an image of me in an athletic sexual position, grinning devilishly at me and I gave the grin back, then I remembered what I was about “Not interested.” I stated “I’ve done all that, you know what I want, if there’s any hope at all I will spare Gods life.”

God stabbed me repeatedly with the end of the cigar between words, burning my body, “You-Just-Don’t-Get-It.” He stabbed at me. The holes in my body smouldered painfully, I spat a glob of spit at him that sailed through the air and lost altitude uselessly; landing on the arm of the chair he was sat in before ever reaching him.

God continued speaking but the stabbing stopped; he got up close to me so I could smell the corpses on his breath, adulterated with the perfumes of all the dead girls I knew. “Its not all one big unity you know. It’s not an atomisation of every one neither like the world I created down there. I have a use for you in the safety of my unbreachable hierarchy, surrounded by the harmony of fools, I am going now, but I will leave you with a taste of the real gifts I have to offer; to refuse or conspire is to invite on yourself the second death.”

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