II. 2. Table of Contents |
Scene 2. Table of Contents |
|
enter Euclio . |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Praesagibat mi animus frustra me ire, quom exibam domo; itaque abibam invitus; nam neque quisquam curialium venit neque magister quem dividere argentum oportuit. nunc domum properare propero, nam egomet sum hic, animus domi est. |
( without seeing Megadorus ) I knew it! Something told me I was going on a fool's errand when I left the house; that's why I hated to go. Why, there wasn't a single man of our ward there, or the director either, who ought to have distributed the money. Now I'll hurry up and hurry home: I'm here in the body, but that's where my mind is. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Salvos atque fortunatus, Euclio, semper sies. |
( advancing with outstretched hand ) Good day to you, Euclio, yes, and the best of everything to you always! |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Di te ament, Megadore. |
( taking hand gingerly ) God bless you, Megadorus. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid tu? recten atque ut vis vales? |
How goes it? All right, are you? Feeling as well as you could wish? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Non temerarium est, ubi dives blande appellat pauperem. iam illic homo aurum scit me habere, eo me salutat blandius. |
( aside ) There's something behind it when a rich man puts on that smooth air with a poor one. Now that fellow knows I've got gold: that's why he's so uncommon smooth with his salutations. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Ain tu te valere? |
You say you are well? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Pol ego haud perbene a pecunia. |
Heavens, no: I feel low, very low—in funds. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Pol si est animus aequos tibi. sat habes qui bene vitam colas. |
( cheerily ) Well, well, man, if you have a contented mind, you've got enough to enjoy life with. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Anus hercle huic indicium fecit de auro, perspicue palam est. cui ego iam linguam praecidam atque oculos effodiam domi. |
( aside, frightened ) Oh, good Lord! The old woman has let on to him about the gold! It's discovered, clear as can be! I'll cut her tongue out, I'll tear her eyes out, the minute I get at her in the house! |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid tu solus tecum loquere? |
What is that you're saying to yourself? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Meam pauperiem conqueror. virginem habeo grandem, dote cassam atque inlocabilem, neque eam queo locare cuiquam. |
( startled ) Just ... how awful it is to be poor. And I with a grown-up girl, without a penny of dowry, that I can't get off my hands or find a husband for. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Tace, bonum habe animum, Euclio. dabitur, adiuvabere a me. dic, si quid opust, impera. |
( clapping him on the back ) There, there, Euclio! Cheer up. She shall be married: I'll help you out. Come now, call on me, if you need anything. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Nunc petit, cum pollicetur; inhiat aurum ut devoret. altera manu fert lapidem, panem ostentat altera. nemini credo qui large blandust dives pauperi ubi manum inicit benigne, ibi onerat aliqua zamia ego istos novi polypos, qui ubi quidquid tetigerunt tenent. |
( aside ) When he agrees to give he wants to grab! Mouth wide open to gobble down my gold! Holds up a bit of bread in one hand and has a stone in the other! I don't trust one of these rich fellows when he's so monstrous civil to a poor man. They give you a cordial handshake, and squeeze something out of you at the same time. I know all about those octopuses that touch a thing and then—stick. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Da mi operam parumper. paucis, Euclio, est quod te volo de communi re appellare mea et tua. |
I should be glad to have a moment of your time, Euclio. I want to have a brief talk with you on a matter that concerns us both. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Ei misero mihi, aurum mi intus harpagatum est. nunc hic eam rem volt scio, mecum adire ad pactionem. verum intervisam domum. |
( aside ) Oh, God save us! My gold's been hooked, and now he wants to make a deal with me! I see it all! But I'll go in and look. ( hurries toward house ) |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quo abis? |
Where are you off to? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Iam ad te revortar. nunc est quod visam domum. |
Just a moment!... I'll be back ... the fact is ... I must see to something at home. [exit into house. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Credo edepol, ubi mentionem ego fecero de filia mi ut despondeat, sese a me derideri rebitur, neque illo quisquam est alter hodie ex paupertate parcior. |
By Jove! I suppose he'll think I'm making fun of him when I speak about his giving me his daughter; poverty never made a fellow closer-fisted. re-enter Euclio . |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Di me servant, salva res est. salvom est si quid non perit nimis male timui. prius quam intro redii, exanimatus fui. redeo ad te, Megadore, si quid me vis. |
( aside ) Thank the Lord, I'm saved! It's safe—that is, if it's all there. Ah, but that was a dreadful moment! I nearly expired before I got in the house. ( to Megadorus ) Here I am, Megadorus, if you want anything of me. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Habeo gratiam. quaeso, quod te percontabor, ne id te pigeat pro loqui. |
Thanks. Now I trust you won't mind answering the questions I'm going to ask. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Dum quidem ne quid perconteris quod non lubeat proloqui. |
( cautiously ) No-no—that is, if you don't ask any I don't like to answer. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Dic mihi. quali me arbitrare genere prognatum? |
Frankly now, what do you think of my family connections? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Bono. |
( grudgingly ) Good. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid fide? |
And my sense of honour? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Bona. |
Good. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid factis? |
And my general conduct? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Neque malis neque improbis. |
Not bad, not disreputable. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Aetatem meam scis? |
You know my age? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Scio esse grandem, item ut pecuniam. |
Getting on, getting on, I know that—( aside ) financially, too. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Certe edepol equidem te civem sine mala omni malitia semper sum arbitratus et nunc arbitror. |
Now Euclio, I've always considered you a citizen of the true, trusty type, by Jove, I certainly have, and I do still. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Aurum huic olet. quid nunc me vis? |
( aside ) He's got a whiff of my gold. ( aloud ) Well, what do you want? |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quoniam tu me et ego te qualis sis scio. quae res recte vortat mihique tibique tuaeque filiae, filiam tuam mi uxorem posco. promitte hoc fore. |
Now that we appreciate each other, I'm going to ask you—and may it turn out happily for you and your girl and me—to give me your daughter in marriage. Promise you will. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Heia, Megadore, haud decorum facinus tuis factis facis, ut inopem atque innoxium abs te atque abs tuis me inrideas. nam de te neque re neque verbis merui ut faceres quod facis. |
( whining ) Now, now, Megadorus! This is unlike you, unworthy of you, making fun of a poor man like me that never harmed you or yours. Why, I never said or did a thing to you to deserve being treated so. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Neque edepol ego te derisum venio neque derideo, neque dignum arbitror. |
Good Lord, man! I didn't come here to make fun of you, and I'm not making fun of you: I couldn't think of such a thing. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Cur igitur poscis meam gnatam tibi? |
Then why are you asking for my daughter? |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Ut propter me tibi sit melius mihique propter te et tuos. |
Why? So that we may all of us make life pleasanter for one another. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Venit hoc mihi, Megadore, in mentem, ted esse hominem divitem, factiosum, me autem esse hominem pauperum pauperrimum; nunc si filiam locassim meam tibi, in mentem venit te bovem esse et me esse asellum: ubi tecum coniunctus siem, ubi onus nequeam ferre pariter, iaceam ego asinus in luto, tu me bos magis haud respicias, gnatus quasi numquam siem. |
Now here's the way it strikes me, Megadorus,—you're a rich man, a man of position: but as for me, I'm poor, awfully poor, dreadfully poor. Now if I was to marry off my daughter to you, it strikes me you'd be the ox and I'd be the donkey. When I was hitched up with you and couldn't pull my share of the load, down I'd drop, I, the donkey, in the mud; and you, the ox, wouldn't pay any more attention to me than if I'd never been born at all. |
et te utar iniquiore et meus me ordo inrideat, neutrubi habeam stabile stabulum, si quid divorti fuat: asini me mordicibus scindant, boves incursent cornibus. hoc magnum est periclum, ab asinis ad boves transcendere. |
You would be too much for me: and my own kind would haw-haw at me: and if there should be a falling out, neither party would let me have stable quarters: the donkeys would chew me up and the oxen would run me through. It is a very hazardous business for donkeys to climb into the ox set. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quam ad probos propinquitate proxime te adiunxeris. tam optumum est. tu condicionem hanc accipe, ausculta mihi, atque eam desponde mi. |
But honourable human beings—the more closely connected you are with them, the better. Come, come, accept my offer: listen to what I say and promise her to me. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
At nihil est dotis quod dem. |
But not one penny of dowry can I give. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Ne duas. dum modo morata recte veniat, dotata est satis. |
Don't. Only let me have a girl that's good, and she has dowry enough. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Eo dico, ne me thensauros repperisse censeas. |
( forcing a laugh ) I mention this just so that you mayn't think I've found some treasure. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Novi, ne doceas. desponde. |
Yes, yes, I understand. Promise. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Fiat. sed pro Iuppiter, num ego disperii? |
So be it. ( aside, starting at noise ) Oh, my God! Can it be I'm ruined, ruined? |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid tibi est? |
What's the matter? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Quid crepuit quasi ferrum modo? |
That noise? What was it—a sort of clinking sound? [exit into house hurriedly. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Hic apud me hortum confodere iussi. sed ubi hic est homo? abiit neque me certiorem fecit. fastidit mei, quia videt me suam amicitiam velle. more hominum facit; nam si opulentus it petitum pauperioris gratiam, pauper metuit congrediri, per metum male rem gerit. idem, quando occasio illaec periit, post sero cupit. |
( not noticing his departure ) I told them to do some digging in my garden here. ( looking around ) But where is the man? Gone away and left me—without a word! Scorns me, now he sees I desire his friendship! Quite the usual thing, that. Yes, let a wealthy man try to get the regard of a poorer one, and the poor one is afraid to meet him half-way: his timidity makes him injure his own interests. Then when it's too late and the opportunity is gone he longs to have it again. re-enter Euclio . |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Si hercle ego te non elinguandam dedero usque ab radicibus, impero auctorque ego sum, ut tu me cuivis castrandum loces. |
( to Staphyla within ) By heaven, if I don't have your tongue torn out by the very roots, I give you orders, give you full authority, to hand me over to anyone you please to be skinned alive. ( approaches Megadorus ) |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Video hercle ego te me arbitrari, Euclio, hominem idoneum, quem senecta aetate ludos facias, haud merito meo. |
Upon my word, Euclio! So you think I am the proper sort of man to make a fool of, at my time of life, and without the slightest reason. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Neque edepol, Megadore, facio, neque. si cupiam, copia est. |
Bless my soul! I'm not making a fool of you, Megadorus: I couldn't if I would. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Quid nunc? etiam mihi despondes filiam? |
( doubtfully ) Well now, do you mean I am to have your daughter? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Illis legibus, cum illa dote quam tibi dixi. |
On the understanding she goes with the dowry I mentioned. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Sponden ergo? |
You consent, then? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Spondeo. |
I consent. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Di bene vertant. |
And may God prosper us! |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Ita di faxint. illud facito ut memineris convenisse ut ne quid dotis mea ad te afferret filia. |
Yes, yes,—and mind you remember our agreement about the dowry: she doesn't bring you a single penny. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Memini. |
I remember. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
At scio quo vos soleatis pacto perplexarier. pactum non pactum est, non pactum pactum est, quod vobis lubet. |
But I know the way you folks have of juggling things: now it's on and now it's off, now it's off and now it's on, just as you like. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Nulla controversia mihi tecum erit. sed nuptias num quae causa est quin faciamus hodie? |
You shall have no occasion to quarrel with me. But about the marriage—there's no reason for not having it to-day, is there? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Immo edepol optuma. |
Dear, dear, no! The very thing, the very thing! |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Ibo igitur, parabo. numquid me vis? |
I'll go and make arrangements, then, ( turning to leave ) Anything else I can do? |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Istuc. ei et vale. |
Only that. Go along. Good-bye. |
Mega. |
Mega. |
Heus, Pythodice, sequere propere me ad macellum strenue. |
( calling at the door of his house ) Hey, Pythodicus! quick! [enter Pythodicus ] Down to the market with me—come, look alive! [exeunt. |
Eucl. |
Eucl. |
Illic hinc abiit. di immortales, obsecro, aurum quid valet. 1id inhiat, ea affinitatem hanc obstinavit gratia. Ubi tu es, quae deblateravisti iam vicinis omnibus, meae me filiae daturum dotem? heus, Staphyla, te voco. ecquid audis? |
( looking after them ) He's gone! Ah, ye immortal gods, doesn't money count! That is what he's gaping after. That is why he's so set on being my son-in-law. ( goes to the door and calls ) Where are you, you blabber, telling the whole neighbourhood I'm going to give my daughter a dowry! Hi-i! Staphyla! It's you I'm calling. Can't you hear! |