Marcus A. Stadelmann, PhD - First Ladies For Dummies

After John Adams’s term as president ended, the couple moved back to Quincy, Massachusetts, and lived there the next 17 years together.

However, tragedy struck the Adams family repeatedly in the period from 1800 to 1817. Three of Abigail’s children died by 1817 and so did all of her sisters. In 1818, Abigail contracted typhoid fever at the age of 73. She died at home on October 28, a few weeks before her 74th birthday.

Abigail Adams was so beloved in Massachusetts that her pallbearers included the governor of Massachusetts and the president of Harvard University.

Abigail’s son and future president John Quincy Adams wrote the following about his mother: “My mother’s life gave the lie to every libel on her sex that was ever written.”

Abigail Adams left us letters, so we have a good record of her life. She actually provided the best record of a woman’s role during the American Revolution and the early years of the U.S. government. Her letters, covering the period of 1762 until 1801, were published by her grandson in 1840 and became a bestseller. Her collected letters actually went into four editions in the 1840s alone and are still available for purchase today.

Charles Francis Adams, her grandson, summed up her life best, writing,

She was a farmer cultivating the land and discussing the weather and the crops; a merchant reporting prices current and the rates of exchange and directing the making up of invoices, a politician speculating upon the probabilities of war, and a mother … and in all she appeared equally well.

Martha Wayles (see Figure 4-2) was born on October 19, 1748, in Charles City County, Virginia. Nicknamed “Patty” by her parents, she grew up wealthy. Her parents, Martha Eppes Wayles and John Wayles, were prominent figures in Virginia’s society. Martha was educated by private tutors and studied literature, dance, and French. Her father was an attorney and prominent slave trader who owned several plantations.

At the young age of 18, Martha married Bathurst Skelton, an attorney, who died within two years of them being married. Being a widow at the age of 20, she was courted by many young gentlemen, including Thomas Jefferson, who was also an attorney. They met while Thomas was serving in the Virginia House of Burgesses, Virginia’s colonial legislative assembly. Martha lived only a few blocks away in the house she had inherited from her husband. By the time they met, Martha had not only become a widow but also recently lost her only child.

Source: C-Span / National Cable Satellite Corporation / Public Domain

FIGURE 4-2:Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson.

Thomas Jefferson decided to pursue Martha with what she loved most: music. They played music together and sang songs, and Thomas even gave her a piano as a gift. Martha fell in love with Thomas while they played music together. She played the harpsichord, and he played the violin.

The two got married on January 1, 1772, and then the couple moved to Thomas’s estate called Monticello, which he had designed himself. When Martha married Thomas, the future president received a plantation and a large number of enslaved people as part of her dowry. After Martha’s father’s death in 1773, Thomas received even more property, including enslaved people, so he then owned 187 enslaved people, making him the second largest slave owner in Virginia.

Among the enslaved people Thomas received when marrying Martha was his future mistress, Sally Hemings, who was fathered by Martha’s father, John Wayles.

According to colonial law, a widowed woman’s property automatically became the property of her new husband.

The next 10 years proved to be hectic. Thomas Jefferson was involved in the American Revolution, being a delegate to the Continental Congress in 1776 and writing the Declaration of Independence the same year. In 1779, he was elected the governor of Virginia. Martha became the First Lady of Virginia.

Martha started brewing her own beer while married to Thomas Jefferson, producing 170 gallons in the first year alone.

While Thomas Jefferson was active in politics and open rebellion, Martha stayed home raising their six children. Martha fell ill and became an invalid. Thomas turned down a job in France to stay with his ill wife. In June of 1781, Martha and Thomas got lucky when they managed to escape their estate, Monticello, after the British had attacked it. However, the strain of fleeing the British and bearing so many children made Martha very sick. She died on September 6, 1782, at the age of 33. Thomas went into mourning and never married again.

Martha made Thomas promise her never to marry again. She had many unpleasant experiences with stepmothers while she was growing up and didn’t want her children to grow up with a stepmother.

Thomas Jefferson said the following after Martha’s death:

“Martha was the cherished companion of my life, in whose affections … I have lived … the last ten years of my life in uncheckered happiness.”

Of the six Jefferson children, only two survived into adulthood. They were Martha and Mary Jefferson.

Thomas Jefferson became president in 1801, almost 19 years after his wife had died. Not having a spouse who could fulfill the social functions, such as hosting parties, that the presidency required, his daughter Martha (see Figure 4-3) became the Lady of the House, taking the place of her mother on several occasions. When she wasn’t available for the festivities, Thomas would ask family friend Dolley Madison to preside over them.

With Martha Jefferson a tradition was established of referring to a spouse of a president, who had died before her husband became president, as First Lady, if the president never got remarried.

Dolley Madison excelled at planning and throwing parties, which became a good foundation for her future role as First Lady (see the next section).