Marcus A. Stadelmann, PhD - First Ladies For Dummies

Martha Washington was the first American First Lady, and she proved to be one of the best. With the exception of Abigail Adams (see Chapter 4), the early First Ladies adopted the contemporary 18th-century model of womeness. They were great hostesses and docile wives in public, but they weren’t afraid to speak their mind in private. Even though Martha didn’t discuss politics publicly, she was the most influential person with George Washington.

When it comes to formal and social traditions, Martha was the one who gave the position of First Lady many of its current traditions. She didn’t enjoy being around rowdy crowds or hosting social events, but she adapted well to changing circumstances in her life.

This chapter looks at Martha Washington’s childhood and how she met George. After playing an important part in the Revolutionary War, Martha becomes First Lady in 1789 and sets many of the traditions subsequent First Ladies would follow.

Martha Dandridge (see Figure 3-1) was born on June 2, 1731, on a plantation near Williamsburg, Virginia. She was the oldest of eight children and didn’t receive any formal schooling, as was common back then for young females. She enjoyed horseback riding and was taught how to manage a household to be able to become a proper wife.

Source: Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, Reproduction number LC-DIG-pga-04936 (digital file from original item)LC-USZC2-3273 (color film copy slide)

FIGURE 3-1:Martha Dandridge as a young woman.

Martha married Daniel Park Custis, a wealthy plantation owner who was 20 years older, when she was 17. At this point, she moved into his mansion, which ironically he called the white house. During the next seven years, she was happily married and had four children. Only two of her children survived, the other two died before the age of six. Then Daniel died in 1757, and Martha was suddenly a widow.

Martha inherited a 17,500-acre plantation and nearly 300 enslaved people from her husband, making her, at the age of 26, one of the richest people in the American colonies.

While staying with friends in 1758, Martha met George Washington, who was a military officer trying to settle back into civilian life. Over dinner, Martha, who was referred to as the prettiest and wealthiest widow in Virginia, hit it off with George, and they were married on January 6, 1759.

The couple never had children, a fact George and Martha regretted. George, however, treated her two surviving children, John, referred to as Jack, and Martha called Patsy, from her previous marriage as his own. Both Jack and Patsy died before George became president. Patsy died of epilepsy and Jack died during the Revolutionary War. Martha and George raised their grandchildren as their own.

The next 15 years were happy ones for Martha. She and George enjoyed the quiet life on his estate Mount Vernon. For Martha, Mount Vernon became the training ground for the White House. She was expected by the Virginia social elites to host large parties and dinners. She didn’t enjoy hosting but soon became very good at it. To her surprise, her husband first took over command of the Virginia militia and then became commander of the American Continental Army in 1775, when the Revolutionary War broke out. She took his appointment in stride and is quoted as saying:

“Our happiness or misery depends upon our disposition and not our circumstances.”

Unlike many officer wives of the time, Martha decided to assume an active role in the war and not just stay behind on her plantation. She would travel with George and his army and spent almost half of the next five years with her husband and his soldiers. When she was home alone, she did a great job managing Mount Vernon by herself. She even added two wings to the mansion.

George felt that Martha’s presence was so important for him and his soldiers that he asked Congress to foot her travel bills. Congress happily agreed to do so.

Martha Washington became a national hero when she decided to travel with her husband during the Revolutionary War to join him for his winter camps. Thousands of people would flock to her just to be able to see her. Newspapers wrote stories about her travels and how important it was for George Washington and the troops to have her with them. For this reason, Martha became an important part of the Revolutionary War. Spending five of eight years on the front, she sacrificed as much as everybody else in the fight for independence and became an American heroine.

In 1777–1778, Martha spent the brutal winter with her husband and his soldiers at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, about 20 miles northwest of Philadelphia. Her husband and about 12,000 soldiers had set up winter camp there to protect Congress, which was in session in New York City at the time. The troops suffered horrible conditions. To help morale and the horrible physical conditions soldiers were in, Martha would not only host dinners for the officers but also help the regular foot soldiers, taking care of the wounded.

In addition, Martha was a master seamstress and put her skills to good use sewing socks and mending clothing for the freezing soldiers. Although she wasn’t knitting fancy tapestry and doing embroidery as most proper ladies did in the 18th century, she was doing important work and literally knitted thousands of socks. Soon, she became a house mother and foster mother to young officers and regular troops.

Martha even encouraged other officers to bring their wives and daughters to come and visit and help out. She managed to entertain at Valley Forge, despite the freezing cold and lack of food, and impressed French and German officers fighting for George Washington in the American army. When the Marquis de Lafayette met her, his impression was that Martha had amazing charm and truly must love her husband, because she sacrificed so much spending harsh winters with him and his soldiers.

Martha’s son, Jack, who had enlisted in the Revolutionary Army, died in 1781 in Yorktown of typhus. She outlived all four of her children.

Finally, in 1783, the Revolutionary War ended, and Martha was able to return to her beloved Mount Vernon.

It wasn’t a dream of Martha’s to be First Lady. She enjoyed living quietly with George at their Mount Vernon estate in Virginia. Unlike Abigail Adams or Dolley Madison (see Chapter 4), Martha didn’t enjoy getting involved in politics or constantly hosting parties.

However, Martha had been raised to be a Southern elite woman, and this involved hosting social events. Even though this was not one of her favorite parts of the job she was very good at it and after retirement, she and George continued to host hundreds of people at Mount Vernon.