Marcus A. Stadelmann, PhD - First Ladies For Dummies

After the Revolutionary War had been won, Martha wanted to return to the quietness of Mount Vernon, but again her fate was to be different. Instead of enjoying the quiet life on her plantation in Virginia, George Washington became president in 1789, and Martha had to move to the temporary capital of New York City. She was quite unhappy about the move, preferring to stay at Mount Vernon. When asked about her new position as First Lady (see Figure 3-2), she stated:

Source: Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, Reproduction number LC-DIG-bellcm-25569 (digital file from original)

FIGURE 3-2:Martha Dandridge Custis Washington.

“I never go to the publick place — indeed I think I am more like a state prisoner than anything else, there is certain bounds set for me I must not depart from.”

In a letter, Martha wrote that she had expected that she and George would be left to grow old in solitude and tranquility together at Mount Vernon and called the change of course a disappointment. In fact, it was not until George was 65 and Martha 66 that they were able to go back into retirement.

When Martha Washington first arrived in New York City, the nation’s first capital, people didn’t know how to refer to her. Some called her Lady Washington, while others referred to her as The Presidentress.

The term First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) is held by the hostess in the White House, usually the president’s spouse. This was not always the case. After George Washington became president in 1789, people did not know what to call his wife. Should it be Marquise Washington, Mrs. President, or just Presidentress. All of these titles sounded aristocratic and with the country just having won a war of independence against Great Britain nobody wanted to sound aristocratic or British. A title needed to be created that was plain and democratic. So, people just called her Lady Washington. The official title of First Lady was then coined at Dolley Madison’s funeral by President Zachary Taylor in 1849. By the late 1850’s the title became more commonly used and Harriet Lane was called the First Lady in the Land and Julia Grant and Lucy Hayes later received the same title. This helped to make the title more popular, and today the term has been fully accepted and its use is widespread.

In 1789, Martha undertook an 11-day trip to New York City from her home in Virginia, to meet up with newly elected President George Washington. When she arrived, she was celebrated like a queen. There were fireworks, a 13-gun salute, and people shouting, “Long Live Lady Washington!” At this point, she knew that the presidential spouse had a public role to play in American society. On their way to their rented house on Cherry Street in New York City, people even lined the streets and chanted her name.

George Washington had printed in the local newspaper in New York City when his calling hours would be. In other words, he told the public when to come and visit him. If people just wanted to come to pay their respects, they could do so Tuesday and Friday afternoons between 2 and 3 p.m.

As First Lady, Martha hosted formal dinners for Members of Congress, foreign diplomats, and members of the wealthy elites in New York City every Thursday and then public receptions for the common people each Friday. Anyone of good standing, meaning that they had to be decently dressed, could attend. This included not only politicians and the wealthy but also the average American.

In 1790, the capital was moved to Philadelphia. Martha was happier there, making more friends, but she still missed Mount Vernon.

Early presidential wives not only served as hostesses but were also a link to Congress, foreign diplomats, and the American people. Custom directed that a lady had to return all the calling cards left by other ladies. Therefore, if the wife of a new member of Congress left her card at the presidential mansion, the First Lady had to return the call, meaning she had to visit the Congressman’s wife. Martha returned each visit usually within three days. This function was important because it was not only expected but could be used to establish good will with members of Congress.

Other functions were to represent the president at public events when the president wasn’t available or to accept gifts on his behalf. For example, on several occasions when President Washington was ill, Martha attended church on his behalf, and when the City of New York wanted to give him a fancy carriage as a gift, he didn’t accept it but Martha did.

Martha soon realized that in the role of First Lady, she could participate in the president’s role as Head of State. In this function, she could represent the United States both domestically and also internationally, by hosting foreign diplomats in the White House.

George Washington’s second term turned out to be a major disappointment for Martha. Their good friends James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, and Thomas Jefferson started political infighting within the administration, and the two-party system developed as a result. She started to dislike Jefferson for his attacks on Washington’s policies and was afraid that the stress of the presidency would kill her husband.

The infighting between her friends and George brought Martha closer to John and Abigail Adams, and soon Abigail became a good friend. In fact, Abigail became such a good friend to Martha that she always sat to the right of her at the dinner table. Whenever someone else tried to sit in Abigail’s chair, Martha would ask them to choose another chair.

One of the happiest days in Martha’s life was when George Washington decided to forgo seeking a third term. She was finally able to retire to Virginia in 1797 (see Figure 3-3). However, retirement wasn’t all relaxation. George took care of his massive plantation that had grown to 8,000 acres, and Martha hosted hundreds of visitors yearly. Hosting about 600 strangers each year who just stopped by to see George Washington and say hello was a big undertaking. Martha had to feed them, and often they stayed overnight. To make matters worse, George Washington usually left early, and she had to entertain her guests. But, Martha did this with grace and a continued sense of pride for her husband. She had become the perfect hostess.

Source: Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division, Reproduction number LC-DIG-pga-01370 (digital file from original print)