Elisabeth Jones - Gold Beach

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ I asked him, sobbing.

‘Because it’s what I have to do. Don’t you understand? I can’t stay and do nothing while those Germans keep bombing our cities. What if you die?’

‘What if you die?’ I shouted clenching my fists again.

‘I won’t, I promise. We’ll end this damned war once and for all. I’ll come back for you, I’ll marry you whether your aunt likes it or not and we’ll raise a family.’

‘My father didn’t come back and see what my life has become. If you don’t return, I don’t think I’ll be able to go on.’

‘Don’t say that, you hear me? Look at me,’ he said as he grasped my arms and shook me. ‘I’m coming back; I’m coming back for you. I promise.’

I hardly had the strength to stand on my feet so I clung to him crying hopelessly.

‘Tomorrow I’ll spend the night with you,’ I whispered without even thinking of the consequences. He squeezed me in his arms while my aunt stared at us from the bakery.

The next day I acted as if it was any ordinary day. When my working day was done, I went up to my bedroom to change my clothes, but this time I chose my outfit much more thoughtfully. I said goodbye to my aunt as if I was going to come back for dinner two hours later but, by the way she looked at me, I supposed that she suspected something. As I went out of the door I realised I had embarked on a road of no return.

Elwyn was waiting for me at the park. His face showed the feelings of uncertainty and nervousness. When I got to him, I kissed his lips shyly. That simple gestured made him realise that I hadn’t got cold feet. I’d never kissed him in the middle of the street before. He smiled at me and without a second to lose he took my hand and we started walking. He lived on Stratford Rd, two blocks away from me. We didn’t exchange a single word along the way. I didn’t even think of my aunt or the punishment that would be waiting for me the next day, at that moment the only thing that worried me was living up to the occasion, but most of all that Elwyn would come back. As we arrived at the front door of an inn, we came to a halt.

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Elwyn asked me nervously.

‘Quite sure,’ I answered with a smile.

‘Above all, don’t say you’re sixteen. Petey is a nice fellow but he may back off if he learns how young you are. I’ve told him a lot about you, so he almost knows you already.’

‘Are we spending the night in this inn? I thought we were going to your bedroom,’ I said, surprised.

‘No. There’s no privacy there and I don’t want any of my flatmates to bother us.’

I took his hand and smiled my consent. Maybe he was right. As we got in we saw the reception was empty. We both looked left along the long corridor ending at the pub from where the owner saw us. He finished serving a couple of pints, his eyes fixed on me, and, with a smile I couldn’t explain, came limping slowly in our direction.

‘Welcome, Little Turner,’ he said just as he arrived by our side.

‘Do you know me?’ I asked, surprised at what he’d called me.

‘I said I’ve told him a lot about you,’ Elwyn replied. ‘He’s the one who encouraged me to go to the bakery every day until your aunt got tired of me and let you go out with me.’

‘Yes, you told me, but he called me Little Turner and only my father called me that. Did you know him?’ I asked him.

‘More than you can imagine. And speaking of family, what do you think your aunt’s going to do when she finds out that I’ve given you a room?’ he said, raising a brow and twisting his mouth.

‘There’s no reason to tell her. If she asks me, I’ll say I spent the night in Elwyn’s room, because whether it’s here or elsewhere I intend to spend the night with him. Tomorrow in the early morning, he’s setting off for the South and I don’t know when he’ll come back. Tonight is all we have left.’

‘You’ve got your mother’s eyes and apparently your father’s determination. Tonight you’ll sleep in my inn. The kitchen is already closed but I’ve saved some dinner for you. I’ll send it upstairs straight away.’

Elwyn couldn’t understand what was happening. ‘So, you know her?’ he asked in surprise.

‘Of course I do. And rest assured that if I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have allowed you to get close to her.’

‘I see. So I’ve been fooled unknowingly. I’ve kept telling you things about her and you were pretending not to know anything. By the way, I appreciate the dinner but I’m not sure if I can pay for everything,’ Elwyn said, downhearted.

‘Don’t worry. Room and dinner are already more than paid for. Consider it a farewell present.’

‘Thank you very much, Petey.’

‘Where are you being sent, lad?’

‘I don’t know yet, our orders are just to set off for the coast, I guess they’ll give us a target once there.’

‘Damned Germans. When will they realise that we won’t let them set foot on our land? Do me a favour, boy, and come back safe and sound, I don’t want you to leave this girl alone, understand?’

‘I will come back. Have no doubt about it. Thanks a lot, Peter, for everything.’

‘Room fourteen, here’s the key, upstairs second door on the left. I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow, Little Turner, for a very early breakfast,’ he said, attempting a smile. ‘I’ll enjoy recalling memories of your parents.’

‘Thank you very much, Peter. I’m looking forward to it,’ I answered enthusiastically.

‘Go, up with you, I’ll send some dinner in a minute.’

‘See you tomorrow,’ we both replied in unison.

When we got to the room, Elwyn opened the door, looked at me and invited me in with a smile. The room was small, but the heat flowing from the one radiator and the thick carpet covering the whole floor made it very cosy. I sighed and closed my eyes. If only I were living a reunion and not a farewell. Every piece of furniture was in perfect harmony. The double bed was covered with immaculate white linen under several layers of blankets and a crocheted bedspread on top. On the back of the room there was a wooden wardrobe that shone as if newly varnished. The window, looking at the main street, let the light in through thin lace curtains meant to give the room a little privacy. There was a round table next to the door with two chairs, a kettle, two cups with their correspondent teaspoons, tea, sugar and biscuits. Without a second thought, I turned to him and asked him what I already knew, just to hear it again.

‘You’ll come back for me, won’t you? Because you love me.’

‘Elisabeth, I’m crazy about you. I love you so much that I can only think of the day of my return to never be apart again. I’ll write to you every day I can, that way I’ll feel I’m talking to you. Will you write to me too?’

‘Every day, whether I have an address for where I can send you the letters or not.’

The tension of the moment made me cry. Elwyn came closer to me but before he could hold me to comfort me, there was a knock at the door. I turned and went to the window. Elwyn opened it and there was a woman, no more than thirty years old, with the dinner Peter had saved for us. She gave it to him and said goodbye with a wink. Elwyn thanked her with a smile of complicity. He put the tray on the table and came close to me. He leant his body against my back and hugged me around my waist. I’d have spent hours like that. His lips didn’t take long to start going all over my neck with sweet, slow and endless kisses. That moment was too special to ruin by thinking of what the future held for us. I had to get all the fear that subdued me out of my mind and seize the moment and, maybe, make sure our love wouldn’t be lost with time. I turned around with determination, willing to give myself to him. Elwyn took my face tenderly and kissed my lips, but the stubborn sense of decency that I couldn’t shake off me made him believe that I was having second thoughts. Elwyn stopped kissing me and looked at me confused.