Daniela Jodorf - Kashi

“You have visions of other people and you know who they are and where to find them?” Paul could not believe what he heard.

She laughed. “Not always. I only see people who need my support, who are in syntony with me and the path I represent.”

He felt like a parrot when he repeated: "You are representing a path? What kind of path?"

“Listen, Paul. I know that this sounds weird to you, but I really just want to help. I was called to talk to you and show you a way out of a painful life situation, to open the door to an opportunity. But you cannot choose this with your intellect, with reason and logic. You can only choose it intuitively. Your experiences here in Berlin may help you to decide. Life has a lesson to teach you. Are you curious enough to find out, which lesson and courageous enough to overcome many obstacles?”

Her words triggered the memory of thoughts he had had only a few days ago. This whole situation was strange, but for a moment Paul was absolutely sure, that he was in syntony with her. She was familiar to him. And the more he relaxed and listened to her words without defense, the more she felt like a long lost benevolent friend.

“Your music…” Paul wanted to describe his feelings during her concert, but it was difficult for him to find the right words. “Your music spoke to me. I mean, I could understand every image you were drawing, every single feeling, each experience you described. I saw innocence and humility, I saw the desire to grow, the need to leave the old, I experienced courage and curiosity, I was confronted with obstacles and despair, with setbacks and doubts, with fear of the new and unknown. I met trust, faith and the ability to let go and then I was carried into a space of luminosity, of pure bliss which dissolved into peace and emptiness. I knew that you were talking about a spiritual journey, but I had no idea why I knew this. I have never come in touch with spirituality.”

Her entire look changed, while she listened to his helpless attempt to explain his experiences. She did not show if he had interpreted her music according to her intentions. But she seemed to like what she heard. Her expression now showed a mild and kind interest and Paul realized that beneath her coolness, her detachment, there was a warm and loving nature. When he saw this, his fear vanished completely. For the first time, he felt something like sympathy for Karen Garin. Yes, he began to like her. Obviously, she knew of things, that he had never heard, never even dreamed of.

“Do you want to walk this path?" she asked with a warm, full voice. "Do you have the courage to walk towards the unknown, where suffering and pain are the thickest walls you will have to break through and in the end, you will have to die to yourself?"

“How do you make a choice, if you hear such promises?” he asked ironically.

“It´s not so much a choice, Paul. Things have been set in the timeless realm, everything will happen on its own accord. You can only oppose your destiny or walk in consent with it.”

A strong wave of energy ran through his entire body. She was right! This was not a moment of choice, yet it was a crossroads, a turning point in his life that challenged him to be brave enough to leave the known and walk towards the unknown.

She took her glass and looked at him. “It´s set then.”

He had not said a word, but he nodded barely visible.

While she put her glass back down on the table, she rose. She was wearing jeans and a silk shirt in turquoise. Her straight hair looked strong and shiny. She was very slim, yet not skinny. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a card.

“Here is my address in Varanasi. I will be back home next week. Meet me there."

She was ready to leave.

“Varanasi?”

“Yes, I live in India. If you want a change, this is the perfect place to begin.” She smiled broadly turned around and left.

He remained in a catatonic state of immobility, his body frozen, just like his mind. Only his eyes were able to move around the bar-like hotel lobby. People were talking, drinking, but he could not hear their voices. It was a remarkable scene, like in an old silent movie. Countless actions happened simultaneously around him and he sat on the sofa in the back, witnessing everything totally detached. The waiter approached his table with a glass on his tray.

“Mrs. Garin ordered another drink for you, Sir!" He pronounced her name in a French way and it sounded beautiful. Paul had never thought about the origin of her name.

“Do you know Mrs. Garin", Paul asked the waiter.

“Yes, Sir. She is always our guest when she is in Berlin."

“She stays here at the hotel?”

“She has checked out earlier.” The waiter nodded and left him with his gin tonic, the strange immobility and the expanding experience of detachment.

Her suggestion was crazy. He would not go to Varanasi for sure. Next week was Christmas week. He had to return to New York, because his son wanted to visit him after the holidays, and he had to work on the Shakespeare soundtrack. He was not free to go anywhere at anytime. He had too many responsibilities and obligations. When he sat in the hotel lobby, Karen Garin´s idea seemed so off reality to him that he did not even have to think about it.

He sat at the same place until long after midnight. Another drink helped him to relax again, but there was a subtle tension that the alcohol could not dissolve.

His room was cold and empty. He went right to bed, trying not to think of the amazing events this day had had for him. He quickly fell asleep, easily drifting into the deeper levels of the subconscious mind. He still felt detached and aware when he entered the astral realm where dreams originate. Paul saw himself moving in a landscape that was new to his dream-world. It appeared old, ancient almost, or timeless. He sat on the barren sandbank of a huge river, looking at a city with medieval appearance that spread along the slowly flowing stream. He felt totally relaxed and wondered why. Paul knew, that he was dreaming, and he remembered everything that had happened in the waking state within the past hours. The dream-city was fully alive, he could see people moving along the river and into many tiny alleys that seemed to lead into a labyrinth of small streets, deeper into the heart of the fascinating town. Bells were ringing and the mooing of cows was blown across the waters. Next to him, crows were picking puffed rice greedily, battling for the largest pieces. He took a cracker out of his jacket, broke it into pieces and held one piece in his right hand, softly wooing the crows. They looked at him intelligently, gently waving their heads, not sure if they could trust him. He laughed. “They don´t trust me like I do not trust Karen”, he thought. One crow seemed curious and hopped forward to check him out. He kept very quiet and did not move. The crow came closer and really dared to fly on his outstretched arm. It looked at him once more and took the piece of cookie speedily from his hand. Then it flew off, but the next crow approached him immediately, being more courageous than the forerunner. The crows flew off when a bark with an elderly man approached the sandbank. The oarsman had just reached the shore, when Paul got up, held the wooden vessel and climbed into it. The old man smiled softly, strongly rowing back toward the other side, where he had just come from.

“I am glad, you have decided to come", the stranger said to Paul. "I am the spiritual elder brother of Karen and she is your spiritual sister. She has great knowledge of the human soul and the deepest secrets of music. For us, music is not so much an art, but a science, a spiritual science that can lead one to realize the Self."

The man rowed firmly while he spoke and the bark moved quickly forward. They had already reached the middle of the river and came closer and closer to the monumental buildings in shades of red and sandstone color on the other side. Paul looked back towards the sandbank. Only then he realized that the city, he was looking at, had to be Varanasi, the place where Karen Garin had just invited him to.