Fia Foss - The Corpo Survival Kit

Fia Foss

Copyright © 2018 Fia Foss

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Table of contents

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Introduction Introduction So, you are looking for a perfect job to become immediately rich, famous and happy? You probably dream about a huge and immediate success in a big and famous corporation located in a fancy building in the city center. Why not? Dream big! On the other hand, it will not be easy. Except for a few (very few) exceptions, I don’t know a lot of people who jumped from nothing to success within the first few years. But it doesn’t mean that you will not make it! This book is a survival kit that will help you get to your success faster and make fewer mistakes on the way. Fewer mistakes mean less stress. Have a look into this book and observe yourself and your surroundings. Maybe you will start to see some patterns or signs? Once you do realize how the corporations work … be like a hunter, always three steps ahead your victim. Be smart, assertive but polite, and never show anyone that you know how the game works!

1. The corpo beast 1 The corpo beast “She’s coming”, the team members think. Without turning around, they know exactly when their boss is coming. You will also learn to distinguish all office sounds quickly, don’t worry. Long before she comes, you can hear her loud and confident steps. Her heels hit the floor strongly, as if they were announcing her. She reaches the open space of her team. She looks amazing and scary at the same time. Her “latest season” pencil dress ideally matches her feminine body and her sexy very high-heeled shoes. You can see how team members are correcting themselves on their chairs, straightening their backs and looking closer at their screens as if they suddenly found something extremely important there. She quickly looks around to check who is already working, says, “Good morning,” and disappears at her big office. The “corpo”(stands for “corporate”) beast. She was a nice and friendly person earlier … but then she missed her first promotion because her boss found out that she got engaged and decided that she would probably focus on her private life now. After a while, she missed her second promotion because one employee found out that she has applied for a better job and he made sure that she would not get it. Once she finally got her promotion, she was never the same person. She does not even recognize herself anymore once she reaches the entrance door of the corporation. Is this still even her? Hmmm, not sure. Definitely, it is the way she is at the office….

2. The corpo life - Opportunities 2 The corpo life - Opportunities Corporations give a lot of possibilities – there is no doubt about it. You can earn money fast, get a nice title in front of your name, and be respected among all your friends and family who will do a lot of “ohhhs” and “ahhhhs” about your success. Corporations are big and wealthy and give you an opportunity to gain something more than just salary and the title. Note/Tip: Try to obtain as much information about language courses and certificates paid by your company and sign up as soon as possible! Don’t forget, the corpo life does not last long and you can also want to rest in a few years and enjoy your success, so plan your first years of employment on additional education. Don’t leave it for later! Later, your job will be more complicated, you will be older and tired quicker, and you might have already a family or other responsibilities. If you can, start doing certificates even on your studies already, or during your internship – the soon the better! You don’t want to get rich and then have to sit like a student and study books, don’t you think? There are much more interesting things to do then, believe me! Educate yourself first, and then you will have much more time to enjoy your increasing salary.

3. Joining the corpo jungle 3 Joining the corpo jungle Entering the corpo jungle is a very important moment in your career. You have to be prepared for that. Imagine that you enter a corporation as a friendly, open and talkative person. What do you think--how would the people around you react (your boss, office “friends,” etc.), if you suddenly get more reserved and talk less? Let me tell you, they would NOT BE HAPPY, and you could get punished for this. Do you think the word “punishment” is too big to describe this situation? Believe me, it is not. Remember, there are people who love control (like your boss). If the boss sees that he knows you well and he is controlling you, he will not be happy to find out that something went suddenly wrong or became different and he has no more access to your thoughts. Note/Tip: All mistakes that you make at the beginning of your employment can follow you until the end of this job. It might be that the next possibility to implement bigger changes in your behavior will be with the next employer, and this would be definitely too late! So, think about what kind of person you want to present to your new boss already. Try not to provide too much personal information at the beginning. Stay reserved and observe … observe and observe!!!! Remember, it would look way better if the employee would start to open up with time, rather than a talkative employee who would suddenly close. Be wise! Observe and group people. Try to establish who is a hyena, who is a dinosaur, and who could be your office “friend.” Listen to your intuition, but don’t trust it! Be prudent! Have a look into the “I’m so boring” strategy described later in the book. It could be a good idea to start from.

4. “Keep busy” or “look busy”? 4 “Keep busy” or “look busy”? Do you know the “keep busy” rule? If not, better get quickly familiar with it. Every boss would like his team to work without unnecessary breaks. If someone has nothing to do, he or she should ask another team member if there is something to do and help them out or find himself/herself another task. So, the rule says not only that you should work all the time, but also that you should get active and responsible for finding yourself a new task. How to “keep busy”: 1. Be efficient with your work. Finish your job timely and ask your colleagues if you can help them. Don’t worry, your boss will definitely find out about it and you will hear appreciation words back. 2. Send emails to higher managers, if you don’t have anything to do, and ask them if there is something you could help them with. Don’t worry, they will not be surprised with this approach, rather happy that they get free hands ready to work. 3. Speak up, if you have any new ideas how to improve everyone’s work, how to be more efficient. If you have time, implement those ideas by yourself. For sure you will be noticed and appreciated by your boss. No boss likes to see his subordinates watching films at the office, even though he knows that they are between two projects and have nothing to do. Stay professional all the time. If you cannot or don’t want to be busy, at least look busy. Don’t let others find out that you are resting and gathering some energy.

5. The most common corpo personalities 5 The most common corpo personalities After some time in the corporation, you will start to see some patterns. You will be able to predict some employees’ behavior and avoid mistakes. There are some common corpo personalities which you might meet on your way to your success.