Fia Foss - The Corpo Survival Kit

[1] - The term „Big 4“represents four biggest advisory companies in the world (PwC, which stands for PriceWaterhouseCoopers; EY, which means Ernst & Young; Deloitte; and KPMG).

7 The corpo dinosaur

Dinosaurs are people who have a strong and established position in the corporation and other employees take their opinion into consideration. Don’t get misled. Dinosaurs don’t have to be old! It is a state of mind, not the age that matters. People who started their career in the corporation can become dinosaurs after only few years, so be smart in identifying this personality type in your environment.

Dinosaurs often take advantage of their position and “delegate” a bit too much to a younger staff … or deliver less than required, as they know it would be generally accepted due to their strong position in the company. They simply have privileges. They possess a lot of knowledge about a company’s processes and you can learn a lot from them.

On the other hand, dinosaurs can feel insecure and in danger sometimes. They are afraid of new hires who come with fresh minds and new ideas. They are afraid to be pushed back from their throne. This is the main reason why they will attack you as soon as they realize that you are very good. If you are lucky, you might find a dinosaur that does not attack you, but “only” delegate on you.

Be aware of dinosaurs! They are very, very dangerous and powerful. You have no chances! They are in the corporation jungle for a long time, and they know exactly how to get what they want. You are just another “new hire” or “young one” for them. They will not care for you too much, and if you step on their shoe, they will do everything to show you “who is the boss here,” including getting you fired. Don’t even try to fight with dinosaurs, as you will simply loose. Only dinosaur can defeat a dinosaur. You will need a lot of time to understand the system as they do.

Note/Tip: The only strategy for dinosaurs is to accommodate and learn how to live and work with them. You will not get rid of them unless they leave the company by themselves. Try to avoid all fights. Complement them to show them how smart they are, learn from them, but never show how smart you are. Try to keep them in their illusion that they are the best and no new hire could ever equal them. If they attack, don’t strike back – instead, be patient and continue to do your work correctly and stay professional. With time, other people will see that you do a good job and you will be appreciated. Find another dinosaur that could help you out in case the first one attacks you. Defeat dinosaurs with other dinosaurs.

Tip: Dinosaurs are highly manipulative. Don’t believe their words. If they say something, they do it always for a reason. Ask yourself each time: what interest does he/she have in this conversation/information? If they ask you about something, they want to collect information from you, which they will use to manipulate you later. Be wise and don’t let them play with you! Be smarter!

8 The corpo meerkat

Corpo meerkats are employees who mix with the corporate crowd. They observe all corpo rules carefully, and try to learn everything as fast as possible. At 17:00 they slowly lift up on their chairs and look around to see who is leaving and who is still staying at the office. Although they would have nothing more to do, they would stay longer if others would do the same.

These are people who don’t fight the system. They follow it.

On the other hand, meerkats follow blindly and don’t analyze the existing rules. Because of those people, you will most probably be following rules without any sense or staying late as your boss might compare you to them and say, “They are much more involved than you,” etc.

Tip: Meerkats would be your perfect subordinate. As a new hire you can learn about the company and its rules from them. It is wise sometimes to mix with the crowd at first before you get to know the system better. Try to always have few meerkats around you.

9 The corpo mouse

Corpo mice are silent and hard-working employees who don’t gossip or have one-hour coffee breaks. They come to the office to work and devote their entire time to work.

On the other hand, mice are silent and not resistant to stress. They also might have difficulties with managing multiple projects at the same time. Once they are delayed, they panic and cannot focus any more. As introverted employees, they also have difficulties with communicating sometimes and leading teams. As with each higher position, the operational work is replaced more with a team leading, they are not the best material for a leader. They are better as executors.

Tip: Make sure you have mice working for you. They will provide good results and will not spread gossip within the team. It is also very good to sit next to the mouse at the open space. You will be able to focus and work undisturbed. Who knows, maybe the mouse will even help you from time to time and give you a good tip regarding your work.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.