Violet Blue - The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio - How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure

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He can sit on the edge of a bed, chair, table, kitchen counter, car seat, staircase…anywhere. You can kneel on the floor with pillows under your knees, squat, or if he’s up high enough, sit on a low chair or stool. This position is ideal for the comfort and access it provides.

SIDEWAYS

You can both lie sideways, and you can prop pillows under your head for comfort.

“SITING ON YOUR FACE.”

He doesn’t actually sit on your face; he puts his knees on either side of your upper torso and sits on your chest, with his penis in your face. He can also hover above your face so you can also lick his balls, suck them into your mouth, and tongue his perineum, though rimming is difficult from this angle. He can provide the thrusts, or stay still while you move your head and hands. Your hands can travel over his entire lower torso and can easily play with his ass.

THE 69 (SIMULTANEOUS RECIPROCAL ORAL SEX).

There are a couple of options for this favorite: him on top, on hands and knees over you; you on top (same thing reversed); or both of you on your sides, which may be the most comfortable of the three. Experiment with this one to see what you both like—in fact, you should experiment with all of these positions, over and over…

I had a girlfriend who loved to 69. She actually often forgot the up-and-down sucking motion; she got off on having her clit licked while my cock was in her mouth. She’d lie on top of me and grind her pussy against my face and just hold my erection in her mouth. I wasn’t really complaining!

One time he asked to 69 with me on top, and that was the best that I remember. It was such a turn-on to know he just really enjoyed having my penis in his mouth, plus I could thrust and get the sensations that I enjoyed. Sucking his dick and fucking his mouth with long, slow strokes is something I won’t forget.

• Give you head, of course.

• Spank you.

• Penetrate you vaginally or anally with his fingers or a sex toy.

• Nothing, if he’s tied up.

ON YOUR BACK

If you lie on your back, with your head tilted back off the edge of a bed or sofa, your throat is stretched and much more open than in any other position. Many people prefer this for deep throating and say it reduces the gag factor. He is standing and doing the thrusting, but you can still use your hands.

DOGGIE-STYLE

This position isn’t just for penetrative sex. Lick him from behind while he’s on hands and knees, pulling and sucking his penis back between his legs. Not all guys find this comfortable, but those who do will delight that you can also play with their testicles and perineum, and can fully explore rimming and anal play.

Once you’ve got your stroke and rhythm going, and you’re in the position of choice, you’re in it for the duration. How long is that? Sorry—there’s no answer to that question. It could be a few short strokes and then he explodes, or he could last longer than an all-day sucker—or he might not come at all. These scenarios are all possible, and because it takes as long as it takes, you might have a mouthful for longer than you thought. The natural, though unpleasant, side effect of it all is that your tongue may cramp, your jaw may ache, and your neck might get tired. Fellatio can put strain on jaw and neck muscles like no other sex act, which is why it’s important that you start out in a comfortable position, especially if you have injuries or TMJ, or just plain get crampy muscles. The irony is, when it seems like you’re just about to collapse he’s usually on the verge of exploding, and no insurance company under the sun will cover your fellatio-related repetitive stress injury (RSI).

Like a distance runner, always pace yourself from the start and keep a steady, slow, methodical pace. Enthusiastic cocksucking is always appreciated, but if you start slowly, you can save your energy for the finish, where it may be needed most. When your neck, arms, or jaw begin to ache, change positions. If the cramps in your neck or jaw become painful, pause to stroke him with your hand and give your mouth and neck a rest. You can also break up the action by taking a minute or two to lick his balls, kiss his thighs, perineum, or torso, or add a sex toy to your play. Be creative with your breaks. If you’re in pain, or know that your neck is going to be complaining, plan ahead to use pillows for comfort or choose positions that don’t require you to hold your head up, such as lying on your back with him straddling your chest.

An injury that impairs movement, comfort, or response to stimulation can affect the choices we make when fellatio is on the menu. When either you or your lover are physically limited in some way, sometimes a blow job is the best (or only) kind of sex play you can feasibly engage in—and we all know that most injuries, even painful ones, don’t interfere with lust or horniness. Wanting to get off when you’ve got something you need to work around, such as a cast, a strained back, or limited privacy, just means you need to get a little more creative.

When you’re hurting or limited in your movement, props, bolsters, and pillows are your erotic handmaidens. People with neck injuries should choose positions that support the head: sideways 69 with a pillow under your head, man on top, having him stand while you’re seated, or sitting reverse in a high-backed chair with him on a higher surface. Folks with back injuries already know how pillows provide relief under their knees, and pillows can also go between the knees of whoever’s hurting and lying sideways—let comfort in nonsexual situations be your guide. You may even end up on your back with your head and back piled on pillows, like a pasha, as your lover thrusts into your mouth, but if it feels good, who minds? Also, for back pain, make use of furniture such as low stools, which can be used bedside—or anywhere, for that matter.

Men with disabilities will have varying capacities for receiving oral stimulation, but this depends on the type of disability and, if it is progressive, how far it has progressed. Needless to say, you should never consider a disabled man asexual—we’re all pleasure-seekers, no matter what type of house we live in. Disabilities fit into various categories: mobility, communication, deafness, vision impairment, or other diagnosed conditions such as multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or attention deficit disorder (ADD).

A man with multiple sclerosis might find genital stimulation pleasurable but may have difficulty achieving orgasm, he may be combating fatigue, and erections may not be possible, or reliable—but do not assume that if he doesn’t have an erection, he’s not enjoying himself. The common mistake the medical community makes time and again when encountering sex, men, and MS in the same sentence is reducing everything to terms of erectile dysfunction. Let’s toss yet another oversimplification of male sexuality right out. MS is a disease of the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord), and it interferes with erections. It can cause numbing or tingling sensations in the genitals, difficulty feeling or achieving orgasms, and fatigue, and it can make focusing on stimulation difficult. Because it affects the pathways from brain to genitals, willed sexual response becomes less reliable; reflexive responses (involuntary erection, orgasm, sensation) can remain intact. And these things can change over time. Because some men with MS may experience pain during stimulation, communication about sex is essential. Some things may feel wonderful for a few weeks, then unpleasant for a while. Talking about how things feel to him, and becoming comfortable with talking about oral sex while you’re doing it, makes oral sex better—and hotter.