David Baldacci - Fries Alive

“More cheese cubes,” said Wally, as though in a trance as he stalked toward Howie. “Need cheese cubes, feeling faint… need cheese.” He lifted Howie off the ground, turned him upside down, and shook the little boy until a bunch of cheese cubes fell out of Howie’s pockets. Wally sucked these up in an instant. Then he pulled on Howie’s shirt. “Is this edible?”

“FREDDY!” screamed Howie. “I’m about to be eaten over here, for crying out loud.”

Freddy made Wally drop Howie. “Come on, Howie, you can go to the house with me and help me bring some supplies to the Fries.”

A few minutes later Freddy and Howie slipped into the farmhouse. Freddy listened at the door of his father’s bedroom.

“Okay, he’s asleep,” he whispered to Howie. “We’d better make sure my sister’s asleep too.”

When they got to Nancy’s bedroom door they heard the most awful noise.

Howie covered his ears. “What is that? Sounds like an elephant farting.”

“Just my sister snoring. Okay, let’s get to work.”

They piled food, books, balls and gloves, playing cards, a blanket, and other supplies into a wagon and quickly returned to the lab and handed them all out. Howie played ball with Curly while Theodore read and Ziggy lay down with his blanket.

Freddy sat by himself in a corner and stared at a wall. One by one the Fries and Howie stopped what they were doing to watch him.

“You okay, Freddy?” asked Howie.

“You look very sad indeed,” noted Theodore.

Freddy shook his head. “It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll hit myself in the head and make my arms, legs, and face fall off,” offered Ziggy. The yellow Fry bopped himself in the head and flew apart. Freddy kicked Ziggy in the butt, and the Fry sprang back together.

“Thanks, Ziggy,” said Freddy, but he still looked sad.

“I can bop Meese in the head and make him cry,” suggested Si. “He likes to cry.”

“I do,” admitted Meese. “In fact the only time I’m happy is when I’m bawling my guts out.”

“You know, Freddy, if friends can’t ask other friends to help, there’s something undoubtedly wrong with such a scenario,” said Theodore.

Freddy thought about this for a minute. “Well, maybe there is something you can do.”

Howie and all the Fries eagerly gathered around him.

“There’s a Founders’ Day parade in two days, and we were going to enter the float competition,” began Freddy. Then he quickly told the Fries all about the Burger Castle, the Patty Cakes restaurant, and about Adam Spanker and his gang and what they had done to the Burger Castle float.

“And Spanker’s family controls this town. His dad’s the police chief who arrested my father and who’s still looking to get him over what happened.”

“It sounds like the first step is to refurbish as expeditiously as possible your entry in the competition,” said Theodore.

“Yeah, but first we better fix that thingie-thing they want in the parade,” said Wally.

Theodore looked at his purple friend in exasperation. “That’s what I just said. ”

“You guys really want to help me?” asked Freddy.

“You bet,” they all yelled together.

“Okay, let’s get going. Lead the way, Freddy,” said Howie.

They all stood in the doorway of the barn and looked at the wrecked float.

“So that’s what a float looks like, huh, Freddy?” asked Ziggy.

“It sure is a beauty,” said Si as he stared at the mess.

Meese cocked his head and stared at it. “I don’t know; it sort of looks how I feel all the time.”

Theodore stated firmly, “Curly, you keep a lookout. Wally, you and Ziggy clear away all the ripped-up material. Si, Meese, and Howie can start assembling materials that we can use. Freddy and I will put together some conceptual plans for what the actual end result will resemble.”

“Don’t you think you better draw a picture of what you want it to look like first?” asked Wally.

“THAT’S WHAT HE JUST SAID!” yelled Ziggy so loud they all jumped. Wally actually grabbed onto the barn rafters in his fright.

“Ziggy, keep it down,” said Freddy. “My dad might hear you. Or worse yet, my sister.”

“Sorry, Freddy,” said Ziggy in his normally tiny voice.

Wally dropped down from the rafters and said, “That’s okay, little psycho dude.”

“Okay, men – er, Fries – let’s get to work,” said Freddy.

Theodore and Freddy had drawn up blueprints on the wall of the barn, and the restoration of the float had begun. Freddy said, “I never liked the design my sister came up with anyway. We’re going to build it right this time.”

Wally had morphed himself into a lumber mill planing saw, and board after board of wood ran through Wally’s mouth as the purple Fry shaped it into usable pieces, but eating a couple of them along the way.

“Quality control,” he explained with a burp.

Acting as a crane, Curly lifted the boards up and into place on the float platform, where Ziggy, who showed a natural talent for hitting things, pounded nails into the boards so fast with his hammer hands they could barely keep him supplied with enough.

Si, Meese, and Howie sewed fabric together and made decorations to place on the float. Then they found some old cans of paint in one of the storage buildings. Wally swallowed it and then shot it back out of his mouth. In under twenty minutes the entire float was perfectly painted.

Theodore and Freddy had checked and re-checked the tractor engine, supports, and tires.

“Your father built a very impressive turbo-charged, air-cooled, electronic-ignition motor configuration,” said Theodore.

“Yeah, there’s no one better with gas flow than my dad,” said Freddy.

By early morning they all stepped back and looked at the float. It was far better than before. It was a thing of beauty, actually. It wasn’t a giant Vroom shake anymore; it was a miniature version of the Burger Castle that was actually hollow inside. Every detail was there, from the pickle turrets to the drawbridge and a painted yogurt moat. And on either side of the Burger Castle name were small fry figures.

Freddy ran his admiring gaze over it and then turned to his friends. “You guys really saved my butt. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Food would be good,” answered Wally.

“That’s what friends do, Freddy,” said Theodore. “Help each other.”

“Yeah,” said Howie, and he slapped Freddy on the back.

“Oh, no!” Ziggy was pointing up to the ceiling.

They all looked up and saw Si and Meese floating there.

“How’d you get up there?” demanded Freddy.

When Si and Meese opened their mouths to answer, they fell to the floor of the barn.

All the others rushed over to them.

“What happened?” asked Howie.

Si explained, “We were seeing who could hold their breath the longest when we started floating up.”

“Hmm,” said Freddy. “Hold your breath again, guys.”

They did so and after five seconds they started to float up again.

“Now let out your breaths,” cried out Freddy.

When they did, Freddy smelled the air. “Helium!” he said. “I didn’t put that in when I designed you, but you are hollow. I know! When the lightning hit you, it must’ve caused a chemical reaction that makes your breath turn into helium when you hold it for longer than a few seconds. That actually might come in handy someday.”