Sophie Kinsella: I've Got Your Number

Yes. It’s all there in the shot: my veil, my headdress, a glimpse of my wedding dress, the corner of my lily bouquet. There’s absolutely no doubt as to what’s going on.

I press Sam Mobile and then send. There. It’s gone through the ether. Now he knows. I’ll probably never hear from him again after this. That’s it. It was a strange little encounter between two people, and this is the end. With a sigh, I sink down into the chair. The bells above have stopped pealing, and there’s a strange, still quietness in the room.

Until suddenly the beeps start. Frantic and continuous, like an emergency siren. I pick up my iPhone in shock, and they’re stacking up in my in-box: text after text after text, all from Sam.

No.

No no no no no.

Stop.

You can’t.

Are you serious?

Poppy, why?

My breaths are short and ragged as I read his words. I wasn’t intending to get into a conversation, but at last I can’t stand it anymore, I have to reply.

What do you expect, I just walk away? 200 people are sitting here waiting.

Immediately, Sam’s reply comes firing back:

You think he loves you?

I twist the ring of gold strands round and round my right-hand finger, trying desperately to find a path through all the contradictory thoughts thrusting their way into my head. Does Magnus love me? I mean … what is love? No one knows what love is, exactly. No one can define it. No one can prove it. But if someone chooses a ring especially for you in Bruges, that’s got to be a good start, hasn’t it?

Yes.

I think Sam must have been poised for my answer, his replies comes shooting back so quickly, three in a row.

No.

You’re wrong.

Stop. Stop. Stop. No. No.

I want to scream at him. It’s not fair. He can’t say all this now. He can’t shake me up now.

Well, what I am supposed to do???

I send it just as the door opens. It’s the Reverend Fox, followed by Toby, Tom, Annalise, and Ruby, all talking at once in an excited babble.

“Oh my God! The traffic! I thought we wouldn’t make it.”

“Yes, but they couldn’t start without you, could they? It’s like planes.”

“They can, you know. They once took my luggage off the plane I was on, just because I was trying these jeans on and I didn’t hear the announcement.”

“Is there a mirror? I’ve got to do my lip gloss again.”

“Poppy, we got you some biscuits—”

She doesn’t want biscuits! She’s got to be slim for her big moment!” Annalise swoops down on me. “What’s happened to your veil? It’s all bunched up. And your dress is crooked! Let me … ”

“All right, missus?” Ruby gives me a hug as Annalise tugs at my train. “Ready?”

“I … ” I feel dazed. “I guess so.”

“You look great.” Toby is crunching a digestive. “Much better. Hey, Felix wanted to say a quick hello. Is that OK?”

“Oh, of course.”

I feel powerless, standing here with everyone milling around me. I can’t even physically move, because Annalise is still adjusting my train. My iPhone beeps, and Reverend Fox gives me a frosty smile.

“Better turn that off, don’t you think?”

“Can you imagine if it went off during the service?” Annalise giggles. “Do you want me to hold it for you?”

She holds out her hand and I stare back at her, paralyzed. There’s a new text from Sam in my in-box. His reply. Part of me is so desperate to read it, I almost can’t contain my hands.

But another part is telling me to stop. Don’t go there. How can I read it now, as I’m about to walk up the aisle? It’ll mess me up. I’m here at my wedding day, surrounded by friends and family. This is my real life. Not some guy I’m connected to through the ether. It’s time to say goodbye. It’s time to cut this thread.

“Thanks, Annalise.” I turn the iPhone off and gaze at it for a moment as the light dies away. There’s no one in there anymore. It’s just a dead, blank metal box.

I hand it to Annalise and she thrusts it into her bra.

“You’re holding your flowers too high.” She frowns at me. “You look really tense.”

“I’m fine.” I avoid her gaze.

“Hey, guess what?” Ruby comes rustling up in her dress. “I forgot to tell you: We’re getting a celebrity patient! That businessman who’s been all over the news. Sir Nicholas something?”

“You mean Sir Nicholas Murray?” I say incredulously.

“That’s the one.” She beams. “His assistant phoned up and booked a session with me! Said I’d been recommended by someone whose opinion he regards very highly. Who on earth d’you think that was?”

“I’ve … I’ve no idea,” I manage.

I’m so touched. And a bit freaked. Never in a million years did I think that Sir Nicholas would take me up on my recommendation. How can I face him again? What if he mentions Sam? What if—

No. Stop it, Poppy. By the time I see Sir Nicholas again, I’ll be a married woman. The whole bizarre little episode will be long forgotten. It’ll be fine.

“I’ll alert the organist that we’re ready to go,” says Reverend Fox. “Take your places for the procession, everyone.”

Annalise and Ruby make their way to their places behind me. Tom and Toby are flanking me, each with an arm loosely crooked in mine. There’s a knock at the door, and Felix’s owlish face peers round.

“Poppy, you look amazing.”

“Thanks! Come in!”

“Just thought I’d wish you luck.” He heads toward me, skirting my dress hem carefully with his feet. “And say I’m so chuffed you’re joining the family. We all are. My parents think you’re brilliant.”

“Really?” I say, trying to hide my dubious tone. “Both your parents?”

“Oh yes.” He nods fervently. “They love you. They were so gutted when they heard it was all off.”

“ Off? ’ echo four astonished voices, all at once.

“Was the wedding off?” says Tom.

“When was it off?” demands Annalise. “You never told us, Poppy! Why didn’t you tell us?”

Great. This is all I need, the third degree from my entire wedding party.

“It was only temporary.” I try to downplay it. “You know. One of those last-minute wedding-jitter things. Everyone has them.”

“Mum gave Magnus such a hard time.” Felix’s eyes gleam behind his glasses. “She said he was a fool and he’d never find anyone better than you.”

“Really?” I can’t help feeling a glow.

“Oh, she was livid.” Felix looks highly entertained. “She practically threw the ring at him.”

“She threw the emerald ring?” I say in astonishment. That ring is worth thousands. Surely even Wanda wouldn’t start chucking it around the room.

“No, the gold twisty ring. That ring.” He nods at my hand. “When she was getting it out of her dressing table for Magnus. She threw it at him and cut his forehead.” He chuckles. “Not badly, of course.”

I stare at him, frozen. What did he just say? Wanda got the gold twisty ring out of her dressing table?

“I thought … ” I try to sound relaxed. “I thought Magnus bought it in Bruges.”

Felix looks blank. “Oh no. It’s Mum’s. Was Mum’s.”

“Right.” I lick my dry lips. “So, Felix, what happened exactly? Why did she give it to him? I wish I’d been there!” I try to sound lighthearted. “Tell me the whole story.”

“Well.” Felix screws up his eyes, as though trying to recall. “Mum told Magnus not to bother trying to give you that emerald ring again. And she got out the gold ring and said she couldn’t wait to have you as a daughter-in-law. Then Dad said, ‘Why are you bothering? It’s obvious Magnus doesn’t have the sticking power for a marriage,’ and Magnus got in a fury with him and said, yes, he does, and Dad said, ‘Look at the Birmingham job,’ and they had this massive argument like they always do and then … we got a takeaway supper.” He blinks. “That was pretty much it.”