Джеймс Кейн - Career in C Major and Other Fiction

Oh, yes. Mewl’n. F’got f’ mom’nt. G’ on, Bailey. Shpeak right out. Don’t shtan’ ’n awe ’f me. What ’en?

So pretty soon I figured it must be coming from the sewer, what run down under Center Street, and I went over to the manhole and listened and sure enough that was where it was coming from.

Shew’r?

Yes, sir.

Keep right on, Bailey. Y’ g’ me more facksh ’n fi’ minutes ’n whole pack ’lawyersh gi’ me ’n week.

I assure Yexcellency—

Keep out o’ this, young man. Y’ tried m’ patience ’nough already. ’M after facksh ’n ’m gett’n ’m. G’ on, Bailey.

So I tried to get the cover offen the manhole, but I couldn’t lift it. I tried hard as I could, but I couldn’t budge it.

Busha tried?

Yes, sir.

Thasha shtuff! G’ on.

So then I figured the best thing was to get some help and I run all the way up and down the street looking for a cop. And pretty soon I found a couple of them. And first off they didn’t believe it, but then when they come to the manhole and heared this here mewling, they tried to lift the cover with me, and all three of us couldn’t move it, and why we couldn’t move it was it was froze to the rim.

F’oze?

Yes, sir.

F’oze. G’ on.

So then we figured the best thing to do would be to put in a alarm. We figured if we got the fire company down there, maybe they would have something to move it with.

G’ on. Keep right on till I tell y’ to shtop, Bailey.

So we went to the box and put in a alarm. And pretty soon here come the hook-and-ladder galloping down the street. And five fellows what was members of the Coal City Volunteer Fire Department was on it, because they was still setting in the fire-house playing a poker game what they had started the night before after supper.

The Coal City Vol’teer Fi’ D’pa’ment?

Yes, sir. So then—

Wait minute. Wait minute, Bailey. Y’ touch m’ heart now. The ol’ Coal City Vol’teer Fi’ D’pa’ment, wha’ y’ know ’bout ’at? I was mem’ that m’self. I was mem’ that — le’s see, mus’ been thirty yea’s ’go.

I hear it was a wonderful company in those days, Yexcellency.

Won’ful ’n ’en some. We won State ca’nival three times runn’n. C’n y’ ’magine ’at?

You don’t mean it, Yexcellency!

Well, well! Y’ touch m’ heart now, Bailey, y’ cert’ny have. ’S goin’ be ha’d f’ me t’ send y’ t’ chair ’f y’ was mem’ old Coal City Vol’teer Fi’ D’pa’ment. G’ on. What ’en?

— ?

Don’t sit there with your mouth hanging open like that, Bailey. The Governor was thinking of something else, of course.

Oh! So then them fellows pulled in their horses and got down offen the hook-and-ladder and commence hollering where was the fire. So we told them it wasn’t no fire, but a child down the sewer, and then they got sore, because they claim we broke up their poker game and it was roodles.

What ’en?

So we ast them to help us get the cover off, and they wasn’t going to do it. But just then this here mewling come again, just a little bit. It had kind of died off, but now it started up again, and them fellows, soon as they heared it, they got busy. ’Cause this here mewling, it give you the shivers right up and down your back.

What ’en?

So then we put the blade of one of them axes next to the cover, between it and the rim, and beat on it with another ax. And that broke it loose and we got it off.

What ’en?

So then them firemen put a belt on me, what they use to hook on the hose when they shove it up on them ladders, and let me down in the sewer. And I struck a match and sure enough there was a child, all wrapped up in a bunch of rags, laying out on the sewer water. And why it hadn’t sunk was that the sewer water was froze and a good thing we didn’t shove no ladder down there because if we had the ice would of got broke and the child would of fell in.

What ’en?

So I grabbed the child, and them fellows pulled me up, and then we all got on the hook-and-ladder and whipped up them horses for the Coal City Hospital, ’cause it looked like to me that child was half froze to death, but when we give it in to the hospital we found out that being in the sewer hadn’t hurt it none and it was all right.

So y’ saved child?

Yes, sir.

Tha’s good!.. Well, Bailey, y’ made good case f’ y’self. I don’t min’ say’n, ’m ’pressed.

But this witness isn’t quite finished with his testimony, Yexcellency.

Wha’s ’at? He saved child, didn’ he? ’A’s all wan’ know. Facksh, facksh, tha’s what I go on!

But Yexcellency—

A’ right, ą’ right. G’ on, Bailey, what ’en?

So then, when I got back to the milk-wagon and unwrapped the other breeching and unslipped the traces, the old mare couldn’t get up nohow. She was stiff from cold, and I had to get them cops again and shoot her. So the dairy company was pretty sore. The old mare, she weren’t worth more’n twenty-five dollars, but them company men let on I was hired to take care of the company property and not pull no babies outen the sewer.

What ’en?

So we had it pretty hot for a while, and then later on that day I went down to the hospital for to look at the baby and get them nurses there to name him Greenfield Farms, what was the name of the dairy company, so when they put it in the Coal City News about the baby being found, the company would get a free ad outen it, anyway twenty-five dollars’ worth, what was the worth of the mare, and they did and we was square.

What ’en?

Well, I reckon that’s all. ’Cepting I picked up the paper about six months ago, and I seen where a fellow name of Greenfield Farms had spoke a piece at a entertainment what they had in the penitentiary, and I got to wondering if it was the same one, and I asked one or two people about it, and they sent me to this gentleman here, and come to find out it was.

So Yexcellency can see that this young man here, this young man Greenfield Farms, is one and the same with the child this witness pulled out of the sewer twenty-three years ago.