Timong Lightbringer: Russia News

VVP: Enough ! Such behavior passes all moral boundaries, even though I am not sure you have any of those remained !

Obama: Got it ?! Retribution ! You refuse, you get retribution ! Democracy, fuck you !

VVP: Enough, the interview ends now. Security, please take care of our deranged visitor ! Try not to cause him too much harm, scientists of the future will surely need this brain for studying the reasons of similar is intellectual-national illnesses.

Two bashers who have entered the television studio inconsiderately take Obama in hands and try to force him out. Obama shouts and spits, threatening with all torments of a Hell, beginning from sale in sexual slavery to the Blacks and finishing with the promise to arrange the next grey-buro-crimson-in-speck revolution. At last, having gotten a blow in the chest from one of the guards, he calms down. And only his gleaming black eyes still shows the degree of his aversion of similar aversion of Their Way. Finally, all three silhouettes disappear from a the vision of video cameras.

VVP( wiping his face with a hand ) : So, my dear watch-ers, see-ers and stare-ers … he is such a man, this mister Community Organizer Barrack Hussein Obama ! But let us not judge harshly, it’s simply not their day today. And the tomorrow too … and the day after the tomorrow. For our ancestors did spoke right : “If you spit in the world – the world will clear itself, and if the world spits on you – you shall surely sink”. And as they say, may the Gut give them good health … and may the God have mercy on their souls !

This was Vladimir Vladimirovich Pupkin, permanent, yet not immortal television figure of the “Russia News” TV show. And as our American friends would surely speak – “Have a good day ! OK ?”.

Russia News

Sensation ! Sensation !

Truth ? Or provocation ?

Ones, who meaning learn and give – those, who Plan’s will outlive.

(Mihylach, ye stupid berk ! Who names articles as such, huh ? – a note of the editor-in-chief )

Top secret !

(Or for administrative use at the very least, - a note of the editor-in-chief )

As we have learnt, unique fragments from speeches of ancient Indian Dalaj-Llamas, entitled precisely “Plan 2020”, have recently been acquired by ubiquitous Chinese hackers. By means of extreme efforts and entire box of very strong drinks two of our translators managed to transliterate a part of ancient Sanskrit records from Chinese to Russian. Cannot translate it backwards, though.

As it’s well known for all semi-and-almost enlightened beings, mankind has been promised some wonderful New World for a long time, in which those who haven’t died on the way will once be able to come. Terms, unfortunately, were always indistinct and foggy, and that has generated a lot of coffee guessing together with other perversion, but all earlier predicted dates and terms have appeared to be nothing more than past.

Perhaps, these given fragments will be able to shed some light on the Doomsday date (and who are the judges ? – a note of the proofreader ), as well as on some results of its coming.

As we were told by two of our translators, they managed to overpower the translation of text fragments, speaking about how the geopolitical map of the world will change in (near?) future – or, to be more exact, how some of the countries, known to us, will be called.

And now we present the given fragment to your valuable (how much in $? – a note of the proofreader ) attention.

Russia→ Chinisia(heck, does that mean that my children are gonna to be narrow-eyed ? - a note of the proofreader )

USA→ DSA, Disjointed States of America(a fitting destiny ! - a note of the proofreader ).

France→ Faniggeria(Obama Sarkozy ? - a note of the proofreader )

Germany→ Aaria(Angry Arians, no ? - a note of the proofreader )

Italy→ Volcania(dunno know, dunno know …, - a note of the proofreader )

Poland→ Treacherland(I have never trusted them ! – a note of the proofreader )

Ukrain→ Stealin(do they have better options ? – a note of the proofreader )

Great Britain→ Great Disastrian(plop-plop-plop ? – a note of the proofreader )

Japan→ Japorobotia(Possible, a hint on mythical technological innovations, hmmm ? – a comment of the proofreader . More likely on consequences of mass application of an anime, - a comment of the translator ).

Iraq→ Gloom(no comments, - a comment of the proofreader )

Iran→ Uranium(nuclear louse ! – a note of the proofreader )

Israel→ Crazyrael(remained without trousers without States …, - a note of the proofreader )

Canada→ Calaska(what matters is that they have not encroached on our Siberia !, - a note of the proofreader )

India→ Hindija(Gigglendia ? – a note of the proofreader )

Mongolia→ Mogolia(who’s that Mogol, aye ? – a note of the proofreader )

Brazil→ Braztilia(Bastilia ? – a note of proofreader )

Afghanistan→ Poppystan(Red Alert ? – a note of the proofreader )

The republic of South Africa→ SSAA, Successful State of the African Race(I hope they haven’t their own Barrack Obamas, at the very least, - a note of the proofreader )

Note : the given list in partially incomplete for two aforementioned translators have not yet recovered from their own Doomsday after having consumed above-named quantity of warming up drinks.

Expect more sensations in following releases of our newspaper !

Yours faithfully, - a comment of the editor-in-chief .

Russia News

Glamorous, +

(Mihalych, may the thousands basilisks stare at ye at once ! Will ye learn something at all or nay, ye old berk ?! – a note of the editor-in-chief )

In the last release of our glamorous (kosher !, - a comment of the proofreader ) newspaper we have told you about that wondrous discovery of ancient texts of the Dalaj-Llamas, having that simple and plain name “Plan 2020”, and not even a gram less surprising translation of one of their fragments, performed by our expert linguists in blissfull-absent state of consciousness. We are glad to inform you that for the purposes of translation of these really untrue manuscripts cognac has appeared to be much more effective than vodka. Strange, surely, but that fact still remains.

Anyway, we now present next portion of ancient Sanskrit records of the Tibetan origin and Earth dislocation, translated from Chinese to Russian (still cannot translate it backwards, though) to your keen interest.

In the given fragment the speech is, apparently, goes about modern, last or future views of these very Dalaj-Llamas on some of the nations, living on our sinful, we’ll not conceal it, (especially when it’s so easy to confess, - a note of the proofreader ) Earth.