Ilja Pfeijffer - La Superba

“I remember one time in Greece. That was during the military junta of ’67-’74. I was in the train. All of a sudden five Greek policemen entered my carriage. I was shitting myself, in a manner of speaking. I didn’t know what I was carrying but I knew I was carrying something. But the other five passengers in my carriage turned out to be Turks. They stripped them from head to toe and left me alone. It didn’t sink in until later that we’d planted those Turks there. But Ilja, you can’t imagine how petrified I was.”

He asked for some ice and a lacrima . “My darling,” he said. “My darling,” the waitress said back.

“I love young people, Ilja. I love young people. They say they keep you young. I believe in that with all my heart. That’s why I was always so popular when I was teaching at the university. I always behaved like one of them instead of their professor, but that’s how I felt, too. I remember it well. It was in 1968 or ’69. One day, my students came up to me after a lecture and asked, ‘Professor, do you fancy coming to a concert with us tomorrow? It’s a bit of a drive. But if you want, we’ll come and pick you up tomorrow morning in the car.’

“The next morning I stood there waiting in a dinner jacket and bowtie. Ready to go to a concert. They said, ‘Professor, you might be a little overdressed. We’re not going to the opera. It’s a different kind of concert.’ ‘That doesn’t matter,’ I said. ‘I like to dress up for the performers. Out of respect.’

“It was indeed quite a drive. We were hours away from the city. We drove along country lanes. They said we were close. It seemed an improbable place for a concert. ‘I think we’re lost,’ I said. I could see a farmer on his tractor in the distance. ‘I’ll ask him the way. What’s the name of the place we’re looking for? Stockwood?’”

He still found it hilarious.

“Had you stopped working for the Service by then?”

“No, I’d only just begun. As a delivery boy. Later I was deployed for more serious missions. Well, I don’t know whether they were more serious. You never know with MI6. But I had to gather information. I was brought into contact with rulers and dissidents. I had to drink G&Ts with them. That’s what it came down to. And I’d be debriefed in London. Of course I wasn’t allowed to write anything down — that would have been much too risky. I had to remember everything. That’s where I got my excellent memory. I was never allowed to tell the same story or joke to the same person twice. And in London I was expected to relate everything they’d said. I wasn’t to judge what was important and what wasn’t, that was their business. My job was to relate everything exactly as they’d said it.

“And to be honest, that’s how I… But wait. You really have to promise me that you won’t mention this to anybody.”

I promised.

“But I’m serious.” He disappeared into his thoughts.

“Cheers, big ears.” He remained silent. “And to be honest, that’s how I witnessed a few important developments. Not to say caused them.”

I ordered him another gin and tonic.

“You understand.”

“Well?”

He stirred the gin and lime in his family-size glass. “In 1989, I was in the GDR.”

“For a conference on metaphysical poets?”

“Yes. And what’s his name again? Kraut. Egon Kraut. I have an excellent memory. No! Krenz. Egon Krenz. I said to him—”

Some Italians came to kiss his ring. “We all live in a yellow submarine,” I said.

Don gave me a withering look. “That’s my line,” he said.

“Sorry. But tell me more about Egon Krenz.”

“No.”

13.

I hadn’t seen Don for a couple of days. People on the piazza began to worry. It was almost the end of the month. Maybe his money had run out. On the other hand, this had never prevented him from clamoring for his right to an advance on next month’s tab before, given his special status. The shutters on his hotel window remained closed. He didn’t answer his phone, but that happened quite a lot because he didn’t know how it worked. And just when we really began to worry and seriously consider calling someone, like the police or the hotel owner, he came coolly sauntering onto the square in characteristic fashion, like a gentleman who has assumed a slow and dignified gait to camouflage the fact that he is struggling to keep his balance.

“Where were you, Don?”

He didn’t say anything. He stuck out his arms and crossed his wrists. The gesture meant that he’d been handcuffed. I had to laugh. He didn’t.

“What happened, Don?”

He sat down, ordered a cappuccino senza schiuma , and didn’t say anything. He didn’t begin to talk until after his third lacrima . What he said was: “Cheers. To Nick Leeson.”

A man came by selling roses and Don tried to wrangle a free rose for his buttonhole. After a while, the rose seller became rather receptive to the idea that Don shouldn’t pay for the rose because he was a pensioner, but the deal fell through in the end because Don didn’t like the color. He was wearing a pale blue shirt with a white tie that day and couldn’t compromise on a yellow, pink, or red rose. The rose seller apologized profusely and promised to return the next day with white roses.

“But hey! White means white! Understood?”

“Sure, Don. Sorry, Don.”

The rose seller moved on. Don drank. I waited. Don sighed. “I’ve told you how tight things are sometimes,” he said. “Everything goes on rent, drink, and cigarettes. And it gets less every month because the pound keeps going down against the euro. Last month, the hotel owner raised the rent for that shithole. Not much, but every tenner counts. I protested but he said that I was the only person in the hotel who’d been paying the same rent for years. What can I say? He’s an old friend of mine. And I’d pay at least double that everywhere else. At least.

“I don’t usually make it to the end of the month anymore. That’s not a real problem for the alcohol — I have tabs all over the city. But my shoes need to be re-soled. And I have to go to the dry cleaner’s. I’ve run out of clean shirts. And you know how important I find it to look tip-top. My dignity is the only thing I have left. If I lose that, I’ve lost everything. Do you understand?”

I understood. And because I understood about his dignity, I decided to change my mind and not offer to lend him any cash.

“So.” He stirred his glass pensively with his straw. “Do you know Bruno? From Le Cinque Vele in Porto Antico. It used to have a different name: La Sirena. He has three or four bars around there. I’m sure you know him. He was one of the biggest drugs dealers in Genoa. Years ago. Everyone knew. In the end he got arrested, but he did a deal with the police. He gave up his supplier in exchange for being acquitted or at least avoiding a long prison sentence and then stopped. But what not many people know—”

“Is that he didn’t stop?”

Don nodded. “He mainly delivers to the luxury yachts. To the boaties. I know them all, and I know nearly all the captains. They trust me, and Bruno needs a delivery boy from time to time. Which happens to be my former occupation, shall we say. He doesn’t pay much — a few tenners. But I can use the money.”

I give him a shocked look. “But, Don, what the fuck are you saying? I mean — drug-runner? At your age?”

“I know, Ilja. I’m a very intelligent man, but not that clever. And I was incredibly lucky, too. When they picked me up, I didn’t have much left on me. A few grams perhaps. Less. I’d already delivered the rest. But still. I had to go to the station. They kept me for a couple of days. They wanted to know who I worked for and who I delivered to. They knew damn well that I was a runner, they’re not stupid. But I didn’t give Bruno away, or the boaties, either. I maintained it was for personal use and that I’d bought it from some Moroccan guy on a street corner in the Maddalena quarter. And of course I wouldn’t be able to recognize that Moroccan again. ‘They all look terribly similar, don’t you think?’ They didn’t find that very funny. And they didn’t believe me. But they didn’t have any proof.