Antonio Tabucchi - The Missing Head of Damasceno Monteiro

“We still have to settle the basic question,” said Firmino, “because my paper is naturally taking on responsibility for your fees.”

The lawyer turned his inquisitorial gaze on him.

“Meaning what?” he asked.

“Meaning that your emolument will be paid in the proper manner.”

“Meaning what?” repeated the lawyer, “what does that mean in numerical terms?”

Firmino felt slightly embarrassed.

“I couldn’t say,” he answered, “that is a question for my Editor.”

“There is a house in Rua do Ferraz,” said the lawyer inconsequentially, “in which I spent my childhood, it’s just above Rua das Flores, a small eighteenth-century palace, the marchioness my grandmother lived there.”

He heaved a nostalgic sigh.

“Where did you live as a child, in what sort of house?” he asked at length.

“On the sea at Cascais,” replied Firmino, “my father was in the coast guards and had the use of a house on the sea, my brothers and I spent almost our whole childhood there.”

“Ah yes,” exclaimed the lawyer, “the Cascais coast, that pure white light at midday that becomes tinted with pink at sunset, the blue of the ocean, the pinewoods of the Guincho…. My memories, on the other hand, are of a gloomy town house, with an unfeeling grandmother who sipped cups of tea and appeared every day with a different ribbon around her wrinkled neck, sometimes simple, other times with a narrow lace trimming. She never touched me, though occasionally she lightly brushed her cold hand against mine and told me that the only thing a child had to learn about his family was to respect his forebears. I would take a look at those whom she called my forebears. They were old oil paintings of haughty men with disdainful expressions and fleshy lips like mine, which I inherited from them.”

He took a mouthful of the salt cod and said: “I find this quite excellent, tell me, what do you think of it?”

“I like it,” replied Firmino, “but you were telling me about your childhood.”

“Very well,” continued the lawyer, “that house is now abandoned, with all its memories of the old marchioness who was a grandmother to me in her way: her portraits, her furniture, her blankets from Castelo Branco and her precious family trees. Let us say that it’s my childhood that is locked up there as in a casket. Until a few years ago I still used to go there to consult the family archives, but I don’t know if you’ve seen Rua do Ferraz, to get up the slope you’d need a cable car, and with a bulk like mine I’m not up to it, I’d have to call a cab to take me five hundred meters, so it’s seven years since I set foot in the place. Therefore I’ve decided to sell it, I’ve put it in the hands of an agency, it’s just as well that these agencies should swallow up childhoods, it’s the most antiseptic way of getting rid of them, and you cannot imagine how many middle-class upstarts, who’ve minted money over these last few years thanks to grants from the European Community, would like to lay their hands on that house. You see, it’s a place that to their way of thinking would give them the social status which they crave, a modern villa with swimming pool in the residential areas is within their reach, but an eighteenth-century mansion in old Oporto is many steps higher up the ladder, do you grasp the concept?”

“I grasp the concept,” said Firmino.

“I have therefore decided to sell it,” said the lawyer. “The keenest prospective buyer comes from the provinces. He’s a typical product of the society we live in nowadays. His father was a small-time cattle-breeder. He himself began with a small shoe business even while Salazar was in power. Actually he specialized in canvas footwear, with a couple of workmen. Then in 1974 came the revolution and he sided with the co-operatives, he even gave a practically revolutionary interview to a newspaper of that persuasion. Then, after the illusions of revolution, in came unbridled neo-liberalism, and he took sides with that, as he had to. In a word, he’s known how to look after Number One. He owns four Mercedes and a golf course in Algarve, I believe he has shares in building projects in Alentejo, and who knows if not even in the Tróia Peninsula, he knows how to handle all the political parties in the constitutional spectrum, from the Communists to the Right, and it goes without saying that his shoe factory is flourishing, exporting chiefly to the United States. What do you say then, am I right to sell?”

“The house, you mean?”

“The house, naturally,” replied the lawyer. “I might well sell it to him. A few days ago I had a visit from his wife, who I think is the only literate person in the family. I will spare you a description of that painted lady. But I raised my price, saying that I was selling the house together with its antique furniture and portraits of the old aristocracy, and I asked her: what would a family like yours do with a house like that without its antique furniture and family portraits? What do you think, young man, did I do well?”

“Very well indeed,” replied Firmino, “since you ask me for my opinion I can tell you you did just the right thing.”

“In that case,” concluded the lawyer, “you may tell your Editor that for my expenses over Damasceno Monteiro I shall be amply remunerated by two eighteenth-century paintings in my house in Rua do Ferraz, and ask him to make no further proposals concerning my fees, if he will be so good.”

Firmino made no answer but simply went on eating. He had cautiously sampled the red beans and rice and found it delicious, so he was now on his second helping. He really wanted to say something but didn’t know how to put it. Eventually he tried to formulate it.

“Well my paper you know,” he stammered, “or my paper is only what it is, I mean to say you know very well what its style is, it’s the style we have to use to capture our readership, well it’s written for the masses, it’s got guts, but it’s still written for the masses, it has to make concessions to its readership in short, so as to sell more copies, if you see what I mean.”

The lawyer was concentrating on his food and said nothing. He was completely absorbed in eating the salt cod. “I don’t know if you grasp the concept,” said Firmino, taking over the lawyer’s formula.

“I do not grasp the concept,” replied the lawyer.

“Well,” continued Firmino, “what I mean is that my paper is the paper you know it to be, while you, well, you are a leading lawyer, you have the surname you have, and in a word I wanted to say you have a reputation to keep up, if you see what I mean.”

“You continue to disappoint me, young man,” replied the lawyer, “you do everything in your power to be a lesser person than you really are, we must never be less than we really are, what was it you said about me?”

“That you have a reputation to keep up,” said Firmino.

“Listen to me,” murmured the lawyer, “I don’t think we’ve understood each other, so I’ll tell you something once and for all, but open your ears and hear. I defend the unfortunates of this world because I am like them, and that is the pure and simple truth. Of my ancient lineage I exploit only what material inheritance is still left to me, but like the unfortunates whom I defend I think I have experienced the miseries of life, have understood them and even taken them on myself, because to understand the miseries of life you have to put your hands in the shit, if you will excuse the expression, and above all be aware of it. And kindly don’t force me to be rhetorical, because this form of rhetoric is cheap.”

“But what do you believe in?” asked Firmino impulsively.

He had no idea what had made him ask such an ingenuous question at that moment, and even as he spoke it seemed to him one of those questions you ask of a schoolmate, that make you both blush. The lawyer raised his head from his plate and looked at him with those inquisitorial eyes of his.