Arnon Grunberg - Tirza

There is not much to see.

At daybreak, walking them back to the hotel.

'I can also,' says ship's steward, 'a foundation begin. A foundation for children like you. For street children in Namibia who sell something. With how many are you doing? Thousand? Ten thousand? Do you know each other?'

As soon as the twilight starts, the disappearance of the people from the streets. Lüderitz in the evening is a ghost town. Even more than during the day, although it may be something of a ghost town. Abandoned and forgotten, and always that sound of the wind. It makes a ship's steward crazy.

'I go away, Kaisa,' he says, 'but I will come back. Booking of i must what. And if I am back, i a foundation. Maybe I can live with you? At the street children? In a house or a tent. We can also sell something together. I can help you to set up an organization. At the time I worked at the trade union for literary translators who were also not organised. The principle is the same.'

For the first time since their arrival in Lüderitz food they are not in the room but in the dining room. There is a travel companion arrived. A bus load men and women of around the forties. The mushroom soup is cheesey and the shrimp are dry. It makes a ship's steward nothing.

In the dessert he sings soft for Kaisa. 'Ridi,' he sings, 'ridi.' And if he is sung, He whispers: 'It is so nice to sit here with you. I love you.'

She plays with her spoon and she says: 'Do you want company, sir?'

It is no longer a question, it is the confirmation of a condition.

After eating they don't immediately to the room but sit at the bar. For Kaisa he retrieves still quick the color pencils and what paper. He orders wine and cola and looking at how she draws.

Fortunately he is not, happiness he would not want to mention this, never. But he is a few seconds happy. An insane and incomprehensible joy that has come out of nothing and will shortly be returning in that nothing will disappear.

For that night they fall asleep, He whispers: 'I come back to you to adopt children, I am young enough to weather the father. I can even years.'

Early the next morning they leave direction Keet Mans Hope. He had thought in one day to Windhoek International Airport to drive but it is already evening when they arrive in Mariental and hence is certainly still three, four hour drive to Wind Angle. He decides to remain in Mariental sleep.

There is a hotel. Everywhere there are hotels. A bed, a bathroom, a night cabinet, a few hangers the to hang your clothes. He would have for some time to be able to continue. From hotel room to hotel room with the child, his hat and his briefcase. Not found for the world. But he must return to the Netherlands, back to the Van Eeghenstraat. In order to adopt Kaisa it should he has to explain.

Also I am surprised that he has not previously considered to adopt a child. But why would you adopt a child that you do not know? Kaisa he knows. And they him. They fit together. They complement each other. They see something in each other. The two.

In Mariental he buys shoes, for him and for the child. Black, simple shoes for him, and brown sandals for the girl. The shop is no shoe shop, rather a supermarket, but that does not matter. They are now no longer barefoot.

The Shoes pinched. Oh, he understands that he is not on bare feet on Schiphol can arrive. They would arrest him immediately. Times have changed. Aware of danger everywhere.

Kaisa is proud of its sandals. Otherwise she runs on sandals. If a lady run.

'I can,' he says that evening in the small dining room of the hotel in Mariental, 'I can teaching. When I come here live. I can learn German, for example. I can read aloud. I can tell you about Tolstoy, that literature, art people not happy. And that he has therefore categorically rejected. But we should prepare a plan, a plan is important. What do you need, you children who sell company? You do not have a house and no shoes. You need to set priorities. Those who do not have a house and no shoes, has to start shoes necessary.'

The child does not answer, but she picks, although they are still the food is, his hand, as if she feels that he wants to disappear, that he wants to escape. Now they eat with one hand. Because they do not let him more.

After dinner and the wife he calls.

'I travel tomorrow,' he says. I wanted to 'you also let us know.'

'You must take place as soon as possible,' she responds. 'I try you already to call the whole time, Jörgen. They have been here. And… And…' he likes her voice still less. So nervous, so hunted, as uncertain. 'I tell you all know if you are there. Everyone is looking for you, everyone is waiting for you. There have also been called journalists. Where are you?'

'I have said that I am leaving tomorrow. I am about to take place tomorrow in the afternoon. I am in Namibia. Where else? Create your but not worried. Everything will be fine.'

'We need each other now. We had never been to.'

'No, no,' he says. But he has no idea what they mean. No idea. 'I have never yet been left in the lurch?'

'Jörgen, come back as soon as possible. Please. If you now — we can still…'

'keep you well,' he whispers.

With these words he terminates the call. He puts his phone off again. He does not want to be disturbed, the last hours.

He asks the receptionist of the hotel with South African Airways to call and his return flight to book the next day. It is still a lot of hassle because he has forgotten the to do so in due time, but if he the mrs of South African Airways half the story tells about the disappeared, daughter, she says: 'I make sure that it is done, Mr ship's steward, I understand very well that you under those circumstances also not thinking of us.'

'Kaisa,' he asks, 'What would you do if you want to take a stroll in the evening?'

They walk by Mariental. Empty streets. Only the petrol stations are still open.

'I doubt,' says ship's steward, while he is in the shop of one of the petrol stations winegums buy, 'I doubt more and more. I mean what has happened and what has not been done. How seriously you can play a game? With my wife I also played. It was night, always night, and I was always the beast, the beast. And when my first daughter was born, i played that i became father. On the publishing house i played that i was writer, I have always played. I could not do otherwise.'

He she crouches down next and adopt its face carefully between his hands. In the row for the checkout. 'because I really am as old as you. I have always played. Not only with Tirza. That was otherwise.'

They both may not sleep that night. It notes and he tail to the ceiling. He has a hunch that he cannot indicate. But it is not a hunch, it is his own life.

His flight to Johannesburg leaves at ten about three in the afternoon. All around noon he is at the airport in Windhoek. He brings his car to Hertz, the damage. Ship's steward protests not. He takes the blame for all damage, even of the damage that he has not caused. Then he retrieves all the money from the wall in such a way that there are still wants to come out and stop that in his briefcase. He will check in.

'Would you like him as hand baggage?" asks the gentleman of South African Airways.

Ship's steward looks at the suitcase with which he ever went on mission.

'No,' says ship's steward. 'I check him in.'

Now he has only his briefcase.

He runs without purpose with the child over the airport. They are watching the passengers, eat a sandwich with chicken, picking the chicken sandwich because they only want to eat the chicken, but let the end of the half of the chicken. They go outside to sit on a bench. In front of the departure hall. There are tourist with giraffes of wood as a memento to house. They must both there a bit to laugh about. A giraffe of wood.