Witi Ihimaera - Uncle's Story

Sam was up with the dawn. He opened his window, and he laughed with surprise when he saw the mackerel sky. The clouds were tinged with red, stretching to the end of forever. For a moment he stood there, his elbows on the window sill, watching the mackerel as they swirled and teemed around the rising sun. As if they sensed some disturbance, the mackerel were jumping, splitting into shoals, showering the sky with silver.

Quickly, Sam dressed. There was a lot to do today before leaving for the wedding. He looked in on Cliff, but he was still sleeping. The rest of the house was quiet as he tiptoed out, put on his boots and strode down to the barn. There, the wranglers had divided the mustangs between them, leaving twenty to Dad. The horses were still spooked. It was the black mustang who was doing it, so Sam decided to isolate him with five or six others in an enclosure — and let the rest of the herd out into a larger paddock with some of the farm horses. He saddled Czar and, surprisingly, it was easier than he had expected to back the black mustang and some mares into a special corral. Before he let the others loose, he decided to check the paddock fencing. He rode out along the fencelines. On his way back in he saw a figure waving to him from the barn.

‘Mum!’

‘Do you want me to open the gate?’ she asked.

‘Okay,’ he answered.

Florence undid the latch and the herd sprang through. Watching, the black mustang put on a show of anger, snorting and kicking.

Sam dismounted. ‘Is Cliff up yet?’

‘Yes. He wanted to come down to help you, but your father told him you’d be back soon. I left them talking on the verandah.’

Sam slapped Czar’s haunches. With a whinny he was off, streaking through the sunlight.

‘We’d better get back to the house,’ Sam said.

‘No, not yet,’ Florence said, putting a hand out to restrain him. ‘There’s something I want to talk to you about.’

Immediately, Sam was wary. If Mum asked him about Cliff, what should he say? He looked at Florence and saw she was biting her bottom lip. When she started to speak, however, it wasn’t about Sam and Cliff at all.

‘I want to tell you about me and your father,’ she began. ‘And why you must be careful.’

‘About Dad?’

Florence nodded. She leaned against the railings.

‘How much do you know about how I came to marry your father?’

‘I know some,’ Sam answered.

‘Did you know he was actually supposed to marry my older sister? Madeleine was the beauty of the family, and the plan was that she marry Arapeta after his return from the war. But she met another man, your Uncle Pera, and before anybody could stop them they eloped. To salvage your father’s pride, and his mana — his prestige — I was offered to Arapeta. All of the negotiations were done around me. I had no say. Your father and I never even courted. They sent him a photograph of me while he was still in Europe, he said ‘Yes’, and the first time I laid eyes on him was when I walked down the aisle and saw him waiting for me.’

‘Why are you telling me this, Mum?’

Sam saw that his mother’s eyes were wide open and staring, as if she was walking in her sleep.

‘So that you can forgive me for not defending you against your father,’ she said.

Sam went to embrace Florence but she moved away.

‘As soon as I saw him I knew there would never be any love between us. I lifted the veil from my eyes, expecting to see a man who would be thankful for my sacrifice. But for him I was utu, payment. Something owed him in lieu of something that had been promised. I was good for only one thing — to bear him a son. All those months I was pregnant I feared you might be a girl. My life would have been worth nothing if that had happened. When you were born I cried with relief. After you were born I was nothing to him. I never did the things he was used to getting. He found me unimaginative. I was glad when he turned from me to you.’

‘I don’t understand what you mean —’

‘Your father lives for you and through you. He expects a lot of you, more than anybody can humanly be expected to fulfil. That’s why he rides you so hard. He has never forgiven you any weakness, any failing in the past. So do not expect him to forgive you for any weakness or failing now or in the future. If he discovers your secret, his rage will know no bounds.’

Sam’s heart stopped. He looked at Florence. Behind her he could see a huge spider’s web, shivering in the rain.

‘You know my secret?’

‘Every mother knows her son’s secrets and his desires. If your father finds out what they are, he will be unforgiving. He will consider you an unworthy vessel for his hopes and his ambitions. You are his eldest son. You’re supposed to succeed him tribally and personally. If you deny him this he will give you no quarter.’

Florence began to cry.

‘The reason why I am telling you this is because you must not expect me to help you. Where your father is concerned, I am a weak person. I can’t stand pain. I hate being shouted at and told I am useless. All I can do is warn you. Be careful of him. Don’t let him in. Otherwise he’ll sneak like a thief through your bloodstream, and enter your soul and your heart. And if he does that, he will indeed find out your secret.’

There was a noise in the trees. Florence looked into the shadows, startled. Sam had seen that look so many times. It was the look his mother gave whenever Dad came through the door.

‘We’d better get back. Forgive me, Sam, for being a coward. I like your friend Cliff, but if anything happens, I will not be able to intervene against your father. You will be on your own.’

‘Come on, everybody, move. Florence, what’s taking everyone so long?’

By mid-morning everyone was rushing. Arapeta was in command and Mum was hastily packing two suitcases for the overnight stay: formal clothes for Arapeta, herself and the children, and bedding for the meeting house. Sam and Cliff were well out of the way, ready and waiting at the car.

‘Is your father always like this?’ Cliff asked as yet another outburst came from the house:

‘Don’t forget my medals, Florence! This is not just a wedding. All the Maori Battalion will be there and General Collinson from the Army in Wellington. I won’t allow him to upstage me.’

At last the family came hurrying out.

‘It’ll be a bit of a squeeze, but you won’t mind, will you?’ Sam asked Cliff.

‘Not at all,’ Cliff answered as they all piled into the car. Monty was sitting on Florence in the front, and Patty was in the back between Sam and Cliff. Whatever had been bothering Patty was apparently over. She was animated and bright-eyed. Sam had never seen her looking so pretty, especially with her hair now curly instead of straight. How long it would last was anyone’s guess.

‘She’s got a boyfriend,’ Sam told Cliff. ‘What’s his name, Patty? Frankie, Harry? Blackie?’

‘You know very well his name’s Charlie.’

She turned to Cliff with stars in her eyes.

‘He isn’t my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend or at least he thought he was my boyfriend but —’

Mum laughed. ‘Goodness me, Patty, all this chatter! What on earth has got into you this morning?’ She turned to Cliff apologetically. ‘She’s not usually like this. She’s normally very quiet.’

Patty coloured and cuddled into Sam. He exchanged a glance with Cliff who said to Patty:

‘Hey, that’s okay, babe.’

At the word ‘babe’, Patty blushed even redder. Sam sighed — sometimes you could never tell what to say or do with Patty. She was silent for a while, and then she looked at Cliff and gave a gasp.