Elfriede Jelinek - Greed

The two Janischs, we're agreed on that, want to get either immediately or a little later a whole house or several houses for nothing, that's all they've got: nothing. In fact the desired pieces of real estate are to be added to the ones the Janischs already own. They'll first have to change the gears of a number of women, I'm afraid. One starts up in first gear, one comes to a stop with the last. That must have been another serious tailgate crash. Just a moment, the police are coming right now! And it will always have been our own fault. The officer of the Country Police takes it all down in his notebook and takes photographs at regular intervals. To save costs the rural police posts are not fully staffed. Often officers have to be borrowed, who are easily distracted. You ask, how quickly this or another woman can be swept off her feet? You do have to sleep with her, and then you have to skim off her cream. In the country there are still some who feel guilty about extramarital intercourse, so then one just promises them marital intercourse, there are just a few obstacles of flesh, blood, and bones to be cleared out of the way. Just you don't be getting on your high horse, there are a couple more in front of you! They also have to get a cock inserted, how many times a day do you think one can manage that, we're not so young ourselves anymore. The lady has to be on probation for at least a year and in that time only gets to hold and look at it, after all we need to hold onto the contents, so that another doesn't get suspicious. A brisk confession in between, and everything's all right again.

It all depends a little on the fullness of the hair, on the character and whatever else there is under the hood or in the wallet, not just on the properties. Until the little sweetie's horse power, poor thing, is exhausted. Women are sometimes already grateful for the fact that they still have their gearbox at all, when life's bustle, laughter, shouts slowly begin to ebb away. So, for a while at least, one simply has to attend to their equipment, when on duty one always has to drop by briefly in the car as if by chance on routes and detours one has thought up, everything all right, madam? Earlier I had a very bad feeling, but at least it was one. I haven't had one for a long time. Well, someone rang the bell earlier. We'll track him down, if you'll just let me in now, I'm a public servant and can safely be used at any time like a paper napkin! Don't be embarrassed, you can eat with your fingers if you like. Careful, my cock jumps out just at the sight of you, look how it's dripping, perhaps I'd go away from your carpet, but your vinyl flooring is damned hard, but I know something harder, do you see it here and now? Of course things would go better if we would proceed to the bedroom right away. In the outer room I only put in a brief appearance, but in the bedroom I pull the whole thing out, don't worry, it won't stand around looking puzzled or get a piston rub at the wrong moment, just because you're too dry inside, it'll always do the business, no matter where, I know it. It'll get going just as soon as it sees you, it'll stand up in the room just like a man in a uniform and pull down every little thing, what was I going to say before? Now we'll just pull down the panties (oh yes, please, do keep going!) What, you want to get on top of me? The public makes demands on us, but not as much as you! Well, do as you please, I'll stay cool, but I would like to be on the mattress, doesn't matter if you haven't tidied up, I'll tidy up inside you! In any case, now you're going to get the absolute, which you've been longing for all this time, it's pretty long, but would go in your handbag if need be, if it could go at all. Yes, women are often modest, because they had a hard life. But you've never seen something as smart as me, have you? And it's fun with me, too, I'm no child of sorrow, I'm a child of jokes and laughter. I don't mind if you already undress in the outer room, in public we'd better not be on first name terms, I'll just close the door and prepare myself for the sight of you without your underwear, that can take a while, what you will have bought them just for me? Well, I'm honored! Then leave them on, for all I care, it doesn't matter, anyway I understand you as well as I understand my hunger and thirst or my desire for houses, yours above all, at whose door I still have to knock, if I want to come in. Didn't you report a hungry marten with a sweet tooth in your hallway to us yesterday, madam, oh, it wasn't you, then it must be a mistake or the badger from next door in among your blackcurrants. Such a big smelly beast! Take a look at my little fellow, he's been waiting all this time for you, I'm holding him very firmly now, so that you can stroke him, otherwise he'll run away from you again. You can look at this nice magazine first, that I've brought with me, you can choose the position you'd like. No it's not a garden center catalog. Whatever you like, he'll do it for you. I won't stop him, the little lad. You can bet your life on that, whatever's left of it. Really I'm due a decent pension, for all the stuff I stick into a woman. You hammer and plane away, and then what comes out is always the same. It only looks different, smaller somehow, it seems to me.

And all the stupid excuses, so that the colleague on patrol doesn't notice what's going on. Both their hearts, his and Janisch's, beat. They roll along slow or fast. Attention is paid to the younger officer, for a short time they are a pair. One arm brushes the other, while people cheerfully drive off, because this one time their misdemeanors have been disregarded. The hairs on his colleague's arm briefly stand up on end, then flatten again, please don't brush against me again Kurt, or if you do, then unintentionally. But now the patrol is already driving somewhere else. The colleague, a young family man, supposes nothing and of course supposes something and first of all he has to be wearisomely bound into the Sport and Skittles Club of the Country Police to shut his mouth, but not by placing one's mouth on his. Then the mouth would really wake up. Yes, all that is on earth, I love you and more or something like it, then when your mouth kisses me, it's not so difficult…

Well. Let me tell you. Unfortunately one has to talk to women a lot, but quite differently, so that they become erotically inflamed. Naturally desires must not remain secret (nothing at all will ever remain secret!), because then they cannot be fulfilled as secret desires later on. It's talking that makes a person independent, so he can ask other people the way and then go off in another direction after all. Talking is also the hobby of many women. Odd, when they sit down, they surely don't do it to be quiet. So let's give them a reason to cry out! Wonderful, how it tears the words from their mouths! But it's better if one manages to put it in beforehand, into this mouth, which otherwise always goes on talking. No one needs to give it a leg up, it has a permit, it can make demands, and it does so at length. Well and good, let's just get started and stick the cock in where her tongue is.

Like a lollipop to suck, then at least they're quiet, women, because with all their social worker standards, which they're so keen on, they don't want to hurt a man. Wait a minute, I can still hear moaning, it's passing across a contorted face like clouds across a storm-lashed landscape. Sadly a country policeman doesn't earn much and still has a wife at home, from whom he has wearisomely drifted apart. At any rate they've still got the talking in front of them, while their hand reaches out to a trouser fly. Women can describe places of interest, torture themselves for weeks just for the sake of a moment, wait for years for the next one, be consoled and put off; when at last a brash erection stands ready for the both desired and heedless, headless performance, then all that waiting was in vain, because a human being flowers like a poplar and goes out like a cigarette stub: is forgotten. One simply has to understand women, everything depends on that, everything is dependent on that. Politicians have to do it, too, of course, if only with words, as men we'll perhaps manage it better with actions, something new for once, and all our actions are now really the last thing. A true act of love, if one meanwhile had more and better things to do. Sometimes even jogging has to be dropped. Then the country policeman takes his own car, it's for a good cause, this lady in the side street next to the local kindergarten has got the itch again today, I have a gut feeling about it, what, it's three weeks since she got it the last time? I would never have thought that it's already so long ago, time to give her a good going over again. What she wants is for her stomach to be pushed down onto the mattress and to be opened up fast, intended for immediate use, because she has long been open to everything, but only rarely has the opportunity to get well oiled when she does open up. So that the creaking of the hinges (the secret drawer isn't pulled out so often!) doesn't sound so loud. There are little children next door, a whole crowd of them!