现在母亲叫他不要回去,说是路途不宁,他心头一热,有些感动。不过还是有一些纳闷,偏偏这种时候,专门派人来上海。
“你在想什么?”突然他听到于堇的声音关切地问。
“哦,”谭呐回过神来,“对不起,我在想我的母亲。”有一分钟的时间,两人谁也不说话。曲子很激情,带着点忧伤,灯光闪烁在舞池里那双双对对的人脸上。
“这乐队不错。”于堇决定打破这气氛。谭呐抬起头来,跟着她眼光朝乐队那边看。的确这个乐队称上得上海一流的水平。他们的演奏有曼哈顿俱乐部风格,尤其是钢琴师和萨克斯风号手,对音乐的醉态化成狂热姿势。
谭呐对于堇说,专门为这舞会请来上海租界交响乐团。德国领事抗议说这个乐队犹太人太多;日本人抗议说这里全是俄国人。谭呐干脆请他们推荐乐队。可是,的确没有挑选的余地,就这个乐队最专业。
于堇说,“谭呐,你辛苦了。我得谢谢你。”两人正说着话,古谷三郎和白云裳到跟前。白云裳凑近古谷三郎耳朵说了一句什么,两人停下来,白云裳把 手搭在谭呐的肩上。“大导演,能不能跟我跳一曲?”谭呐一笑,握住她的手。古谷三郎高兴地搂住于堇,含情脉脉地看着她。台上那女人在唱第二段了:
我不让你放过我的爱情,花再好经得起几度雨淋。
回过头想一想我的痴心,怕懊悔还不如抓住如今。
怀中的白云裳显得很亲昵。有那么一瞬间,谭呐觉得自己是在和于堇面对面,他去看于堇。于堇仰脸正看着古谷三郎,满脸是喜气,谭呐心里很不是滋味。这个白云裳真会捣乱,偏偏这个时候来,抢去了他的机会。
古谷三郎不说话,他过于激动,于堇“噢哟”一声,古谷三郎踩到她的右脚了。她一瘸一拐地走向舞池边的沙发。古谷跟在后面,连声说日本话。于堇听不懂,但知道他的意思在道对不起,这个一身白军装的海军军官,对女人倒是很客气,快步上来用手扶着她。
舞厅里三面都是玻璃窗,垂挂着蓝丝绒的荷叶边的半截窗帘。夜空深远,几乎在这一瞬间瞧得见星月。不下雨的上海,第一次在夜晚露出迷人的美妙来。靠玻璃窗本来就全是一个个单人沙发。这个晚上因为人多,沙发只摆了二十来张。
于堇脚痛得难受,就坐到单沙发上。古谷三郎赶紧去帮她端香槟,这么漂亮的女人,他一辈子只在银幕上看到过,听白云裳说这个女人就是银幕上的大明 星。昨夜他专门去兰心大戏院亲眼目睹了演出,惊为天人。在生活中他从没有亲近过这样的丽人。于堇的每一个皱眉每一个眼神,都把他看迷了。
于堇接过香槟,对他感激地一笑,她喝了一口,朝古谷三郎举举杯。古谷三郎准备蹲下来,于堇帮他拿过酒杯,让他坐在沙发上的扶手上。似乎一时高兴,也似乎一时糊涂,她把两个酒杯都搁在他的大腿上,又把两杯酒都拿了起来,自己笑了起来,一杯还给古谷三郎。
“干杯!”于堇说。
古谷三郎重复于堇的话,他俩对饮时,古谷三郎的眼睛盯在于堇的脸上,几乎移不开了。
乐队吹起狂热的爵士乐,男男女女开始跳着狐步舞,这舞不比华尔兹容易,跳舞的男人,怎么看都像莫之因的剧里那种遭受挫折却又欲望高涨的男人。有人坐在舞池边上,把一盒火柴一根一根折断,脸上仍然有礼貌地微笑着。
胡兰成和关露告辞了,莫之因送他们到电梯。回到舞厅来,看到有个舞女,明显喝多了香槟,正好让乐队演奏现在百乐门的流行舞《花好月圆》。她抓着一个日本男人,一边唱一边教他对跳。
一向喜欢充阔佬,每天西装换七套。
花式各样好,扭扭细蜂腰。
又抓住另一个日本男人跳,边跳边唱。过一会儿,嫌这个日本男人太笨不会跳,一个人自跳自唱两个角色,表演了一大段:
请君跳个快狐步--脚步跟不上鼓声报,请君跳个探而戈--晕得生姜一口泡,请君跳个查查舞--丢眉抛眼跌一跤。
莫之因不便走过去,阻止这个喝得昏天黑地的女人出洋相。那些日本人大概跟这个女人一样醉,跟在边上学她的动作,都在哈哈大笑。
与白云裳跳这曲舞时,谭呐留下一个与两天前相反的印象。他看出:在他们这职业演艺圈中,白云裳很可怜,她只是一个找机会上台的戏子,即使是有才 能的戏子,永远是戏子,而不是艺术家,哪怕一时盛名也没有用。她和于堇今晚都穿了出自同一个裁缝手中的旗袍,同色,但其实有点不一样,白云裳开叉更高,于 堇的开叉恰好在接近大腿。之间的差别也许只有一寸。一寸就可见完全不同的心思。
谭呐是见惯绝色女子的,但是这张妩媚笑着的脸,无法让人不动心。若是换了个场所,谭呐想,自己或许也会不讨厌白云裳?谭呐摇了摇头,谁也代替不了于堇。他只是为了于堇容忍这个人而已。
“我生下来,就是为了演戏,成为一名演员。”白云裳的话,说得坦白,明显是给他暗示。
看来这个女人不满足于一次玩票,还想真的进入影剧界!他一分神,险些踩错了步,只是一个不被人觉察的慢一拍,他马上跟上了。音乐自然地转成又一支曲子,是应当谁都能跳的慢三步,就是跳舞水平一般的谭呐,不怎么专心,也能应付自如。
白云裳对谭呐说,她是多么想让他多一些了解她。她是一个回到不了家乡去的人。她始终爱一个人,却留在家乡,她经常感觉那个人和她坐在阳台上。她说:“他会像我一样爱上上海。”她的语调和故事一样伤感,活脱一个清纯玉女。
这个 白 小姐,好像进入一个角色。而谭呐觉得音乐太伤感,他在上海没有家,完全是客居,他不喜欢这个城市,他留在这里,完全是因为上海是中国惟一 的影剧之城。这儿的市民懂戏,喜欢“西化”的话剧电影。他不是一个对女演员特别挑剔动辄责备的虐待狂,虽然圈内有人这么看他。但他真不是。
“别用那样的眼光看我。”白云裳说。
谭呐想,业余相出来了。这女人着急着呢?
谭呐听见乐曲接近尾声,心里松了一口气。做一个好观众,对他来说,还是要花点力气。
'Hong Ying's work [is]… tough, uncompromising, direct and tense with strong emotion, but also full of poetry and grace' Andrew Motion, Poet Laureate
Hong Ying was born in Chingqing in 1962 into a sailor's family. She was the sixth child in a family of eight, and she endured great poverty and hunger as a child. She spent her childhood in the Great Famine and the Cultural Revolution, and her mother had to work as a brick labourer to feed the family, while her father was too ill to work. She later discovered that she was in fact the illegitimate daughter of a lover her mother took while her father was in prison.
Hong Ying started her freelance writer's career in early 1980s. One of the very few free-lancers at the time, she wrote both fiction and poetry. In late 1980s she studied in the Lu Xun Creative Writing Academy and Fudan University. In 1991 she came to England and settled in London. Her novels K: The Art of Love and Summer of Betrayal, as well as her autiobiography Daughter of Hunger (called Daughter of the River in the English translation), have been translated and published into 16 languages, including alongside the major European languages, such languages as Finnish, Polish, Israeli, Portugese amp; Vietnamese. Her story collection A Lipstick Called Red Pepper, Fiction about Gay amp; Lesbian Love in China was published in Germany in 1999. She has recently finished her latest novels Ananda and Peacock Cries , on which she has spent three years. Her fiction and poetry have won 9 major prizes in Taiwan since 1990. In mainland China she also won both the critical acclaim and readers’ recognition. Her books have been at the top of the bestseller charts, and she has been acclaimed as one of the ten most popular authors in China in 2000. She now divides her time between London and Beijing.
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