Annie Wang - The People’s Republic of Desire

I spot a friend whom I haven't seen for ages. Immediately he comes over to greet me. His name is Kevin Chen. Like many of my childhood friends, Kevin is one of the best and the brightest of the generation born after 1970. His path is also quite typical: he graduated from the People's University with a degree in international finance and then went to Stanford to get his M.B.A. He currently works for AIG.

"How's life?" Kevin greets me.

"Not bad. You?"

"The usual. You know – making friends in Beijing, doing business in New York, living in Shanghai, shopping in Hong Kong, vacationing in southern France and the Greek Islands," says Kevin nonchalantly.

Beibei murmurs to me, "This is the second time I've heard him say that."

"I bet you get a lot of frequent-flyer miles!" I say to Kevin.

Kevin nods. "Yes, but I really do hate flying. Of course, I hate eating lobster more." He punctuates this sentence with a laugh, obviously thrilled to enter the game again.

"Remember when we were young, you said in a class that your biggest dream was to fly someday," I remind Kevin.

"Really?" Kevin seems not to remember.

"Of course that was a long, long time ago, when China was still poor and you were still called Kai Wan," I say with an impish smile.

When CC, Beibei, Lulu, and I get together, we are eager to get an update on CC's first date with the guy we call S. CC has been talking for months on the Internet with S. She thinks S is attractive and intelligent, perhaps the right person for her.

"So what's the news with S?" As usual, the impatient Beibei starts probing.

"Well, we finally met, but it lasted only fifteen minutes," CC says with disappointment.

"Was he the same guy as in his photos? Or was he much older? Did he turn out to be ugly? Was he way shorter than you expected? Did he have as much hair on his head as he did in the photos?" I shower CC with questions.

"Yes, no, no, no, and no." CC shakes her head.

"Did he have yellow teeth that aren't shown in his pictures?" Lulu continues the inquisition.

"No. His teeth are like the model's teeth in a Crest ad."

"Did he say something rude to offend you?" I guess.

"No."

"Was he too aggressive? You know, fast with his hands? Did he try to take advantage of you?" I ask, wondering what could have been wrong with this man.

"Well, what happened? Fill us in," Beibei says eagerly.

"He passed wind ten minutes after we sat down. I know how to do it myself. I don't really need him to demonstrate it in front of me. So I left."

"I can't believe this guy was so rude. He should try at least to hold it in on the first date," I say.

"That's exactly what I thought. Everybody tries to look and act his best on the first date with someone he likes. If S didn't give a thought about passing wind on our first date, he really didn't care about what I thought of him," says CC.

"But I remember you told us that he's very educated and intelligent. I don't understand why he could be so lacking in manners at the same time," I say.

"I've had a similar experience," Beibei jumps in. "Once I had a date. The guy was humorous and funny, but the whole time he was telling the jokes, he had spinach in his teeth. He was making fun of others, but he looked funny himself. The image was so ironic that I had no choice but to leave him."

"What's wrong with you guys? What if some man just leaves you on the first date because you happen to have a lipstick stain on your teeth when you eat," says Lulu, who is apparently sympathetic to S.

"I grew up in England, and I'd never be that sloppy!" CC rebuffs.

"Don't be so arrogant, CC. Everyone makes mistakes. I just think nowadays people have more choices and less time. We become less tolerant and more impatient! That's why relationships become so shallow. A small thing can kill a person's chances, just like that! A person might have a lot to offer, and we won't get to know it because of one event or mistake." Lulu protests.

"The fact is that small things really annoy us. Things like bad breath, nose picking, body odor, continual belching, and dirty socks can really turn us off," says CC, getting visibly annoyed.

"But you've got to give others a second chance!" Lulu begs.

CC speaks. "I indeed gave S a second chance. The first time he passed gas was right after he told me that he had a Ph.D. from Duke University. I tried to ignore the sound and appeared to be impressed by his education. The second time he did it was when I asked him what brand of cologne he was wearing. He told me that it was Calvin Klein's Obsession. But believe me, I smelled something else. I told him that I had to make a quick phone call. As I left, I passed the waiter bringing the salads to the table. What a shame. The spinach salad looked great."

For Beibei and her husband Hua, adultery is not a good word. They call their union an open marriage. Married with extramarital affairs is the most apt description of their lifestyle. Both Beibei and Hua belong to the growing group who claim that they are too lazy to get a divorce.

"What's the point," says Hua.

"Men are all the same," claims Beibei, echoing the familiar mantra of women with unfaithful husbands.

Not surprisingly, Beibei doesn't believe in fidelity within marriage anymore, and she is not alone. A rising population of young white-collar Chinese embrace the idea of the one-nite stand. Traditional Confucian moral values that the Chinese have clung to for thousands of years have simply lost their validity and make little sense in this world of instant gratification. If you see something you like, go for it. This is the new dogma.

According to a recent survey, 37 percent of all one-night stands take place between partners who meet on the Internet. Beibei doesn't like the uncertainty of the information superhighway. She sticks with the traditional way, picking up guys or waiting for guys to pick her up in bars, at dance clubs, or even on the street. This way she won't be surprised or disappointed on the initial meeting.

Beibei tells Lulu and me about her most recent rendezvous with men on the street. "It's so easy. Sometimes I just wear some makeup and revealing clothes. As I walk on the street, men come to me and ask me if I'd be interested in being their girlfriend for a day or two. It's all upfront – there's no need to wonder if he will call you the next day."

Beibei is daring, but she also sets a rule for herself: no repetitions – one time and she's done. For her, the most embarrassing moment is to meet her playmate again in the same bar they first met. Normally, she pretends that she doesn't know the man and looks for new faces to talk to.

One night, Beibei brings Lulu and me to a place called The Bananas. As we order some cocktails, Beibei spots Luyi, her passionate fling from just yesterday. As usual, she ignores his existence. But Luyi walks toward her. Beibei starts to complain, "That guy that is walking toward us was with me last night. It looks like he wants to bother me again. Let's get out."

Before we can make our move, Luyi makes a turn toward the girl who sits alone not far away from us. He moves through the crowded and dimly lit bar as if he was wired into some ultrasensory neural network to locate an available and accommodating miss. But his neurons may have misfired, as the young woman waves him off with hardly a glance.

So he walks toward Beibei. Beibei confronts him first, "Sorry, I won't have the same item on the menu on consecutive nights."

"I was going to say hello to your lovely friends to see if they have some free time tonight," Luyi says politely.

"Why not that young woman over there?" Beibei points to the woman that has already rejected him. As he turns to see who she is pointing to, Beibei, Lulu, and I vanish from his sight – just like signing off in an Internet chat room, one click and we're gone!