A. Yehoshua: A Late Divorce

Grandpa really has come I thought it’s raining outside it wasn’t a dream I remembered how they woke me and showed me to him because they promised me they would as soon as he came from the airplane even if I was sleeping that’s why I agreed to go to bed. At first I heard them argue in the dark because dad didn’t want them turning on the light but mom said I promised and dad said so what he’ll have plenty of time to see him. But mom insisted just for a second come see him father he’s done nothing but wait and ask about you for the last three days. Which wasn’t even so. And the light went on but I couldn’t open my eyes because it hurt and I heard a hoarse new voice it was grandpa’s I don’t believe that’s really Gaddi why I still think of him as a baby you’re raising a giant here. A giant he called me not fat but dad laughed time hasn’t stood still he’s not your tribe’s he’s ours big fat and solid the blanket’s hiding him now you’ll see him better later the kids in his class call him Boxer he’s really a sweetheart the pain shot through my heart again. How could he? Why?

Shh Kedmi shh whispered mom the child’s up already she patted my head and tried sitting me up but she was too late she always is grandpa already had heard. Who told dad? He knows everything. If only mom had told grandpa now about my glands but she just propped me up in bed with her hand to keep me from falling get up Gaddi it’s grandpa he’s here open your eyes I opened them and saw Uncle Tsvi in a hat but all wrinkled and taller full of hair he was crying ma passed me to him he tried lifting me he staggered and almost dropped me he kissed me he got me wet with his tears. He doesn’t remember me. Do you remember me Gaddi? We told you he would come in the end laughed mom her eyes were wet too. You wanted us to wake you. So I put my lips on his rough dry cheeks for a kiss. That’s enough said dad he took me from grandpa and swung me back into bed they were already by the baby to look at her too they didn’t wake her though because once she’s up she never goes back to sleep. Enough said dad you’ll see so much of them you’ll be sick of them yet. He turned off the light I was almost asleep again when he came back and pulled off the blanket as long as you’re up why don’t you try to pee we don’t want any more little messes. I don’t have to I whispered. Try anyway there’s always something he helped me up and into my slippers he led me to the bathroom and pulled down my pajamas I saw the whole house lit bags and suitcases and grandpa’s back he was drinking tea with his hat on. But there wasn’t any pee my head kept dropping to the little pool of clear water dad whistled standing guard by the door. Well? I made already I whispered and flushed right away. I didn’t hear you he said but I made I pulled up my pants and went back to bed what does he want he trails me like a policeman he covered me and said give me a kiss so I gave him one and he kissed me back hard and left then I felt if I waited some more I might have peed after all it was all because of that whistling and I fell asleep.

And now it was warm and wet down there with that sweet like smell of the mess and the rain I could hear it dripping all the time even though it was nearly Passover it was the day of our class seder. There wasn’t a sound in the house not even the radio till dad stood in the doorway it’s seven o’clock aren’t you getting up he came to pull off the blanket but I held on to it tight. I’m getting up I said he didn’t smell a thing the minute he left I part-closed the door I pulled off my wet bottoms real quick and stuffed them into my schoolbag and covered them with books I took an old wool blanket and spread it on the stain to absorb it the baby opened her eyes. Then I went to the bathroom to wash up. Grandpa’s bags were all gone only his hat was still on the kitchen table there was a smell of coffee dad sat behind his paper.

“Where’s mom?”

“She’s sleeping. They were up all night. C’mon, get a move on. It’s raining, I’ll drive you to school. Do you want an egg?”

“Yes.” And I sat down at the table that was full of food while he went to fry me an egg. “Will grandpa live with us now?”

“Of course not.”

“Will he go live with grandma?”

Dad laughed. “Where is that?”

“Where she is.”

But I was never in that place she doesn’t really live in just nearby.

“No. He’s only come for a few days to take care of some business. He’ll stay with Tsvi too, and with Asa in Jerusalem. Then he’ll go back to America.”

“For good?”

“For the time being.”

He gave me the egg and some cocoa and Rice Krispies and two slices of bread. He always gives me a lot and expects me to finish it all.

“Why did grandpa cry?”

“When?”

“Last night.”

“Did he? I didn’t notice. I guess he felt like it. Let’s go, enough questions. Hurry up, I don’t have time…”

I began to eat listening to the quiet in the house watching the raindrops run down the windowpane. I said:

“It was just one boy who called me Boxer once. It wasn’t everyone”

He put down his paper and looked at me and laughed.

“All right, all right. It was just something I said. I didn’t mean anything by it. Even if they do call you Boxer why should you care? Tell them to go to hell. I’m on the chubby side myself, and you can see there’s nothing wrong with it, especially if you’re tall.”

He stood up to show me his stomach letting it hang out on purpose beating it with his fist.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be big and strong just like me.”

But I didn’t want to be just like him not that I said so.!t was already past seven-thirty. I finished eating and went back to my room to pack my schoolbag and to see if the stain was gone but it wasn’t so I sort of made the bed while the baby looked on it’s a good thing she can’t talk I stuck the pacifier in her mouth and walked out past the shut door where grandpa was sleeping I looked around to see if he had left something for me but there wasn’t anything that looked like it. I went to mom and dad’s room and touched mom she opened her eyes right away she smiled but dad was right behind me leave her alone Gaddi hands off let her sleep what is it that you want?

“I need matzos, lettuce and wine. We’re having a class seder this morning.”

“Why didn’t you say so yesterday?”

“I told mom.”

“Maybe you can get along without it. Borrow some from another boy.”

“I’m getting up,” said mom.

“You don’t have to. I’ll take care of it. Come on, just get a move on.”

He went to the kitchen and wrapped two matzos in a newspaper he looked in the closet and found a bottle of old wine he tasted it and made a face he looked at me and said what difference does it make you won’t drink it anyway it’s just symbolic and he poured some into an old jar that used to have olives in it. Forget about the lettuce he said you can borrow a leaf from someone. So I started back toward mom don’t be stubborn he said it’s getting late but I said I need lettuce so he searched in the vegetable bin and found some old leaves and gave them to me was he sore. Since when did you get so religious? I put it all in my schoolbag my watch already said ten to eight.

“What else do you need?”

“A snack for school.”

“What about the matzo?”

“It’s for the seder at the end.”

“Okay, I won’t let you starve.” He cut two thick slices of bread in a hurry and put chocolate spread on them he jangled his keys then mom was there she told me to put on my boots I went to get them she combed my hair I’m counting to three and going dad shouted the baby cried I strapped on my schoolbag and started downstairs halfway down I remembered I ran back up mom opened the door the baby was already in her arms.