A. Yehoshua - A Late Divorce

And then he started asking me about mom and dad what they did and how they lived and what they were like and whether they fought with each other. I told him that sometimes they did that it was always dad who started but mom was to blame because she forgot to do things he told her I told him everything I told him too much he made me tell him things I didn’t know that I knew everything interested him he sat up in bed and listened bent over toward me he didn’t always understand what I said so I had to explain and repeat things he kept holding my hand and asking me to talk more slowly more clearly I guess it must have been important to him. Like that mom was getting fat and that made dad sore even though he was fat himself but mom didn’t care. And he asked me all these exact little questions as though he wanted to live over with me all the time he’d been away. I even told him things that happened more than a year ago like the car accident and the night that mom cried and things that maybe I shouldn’t have like the time mom lost her purse with over two thousand pounds in it and dad didn’t talk to her for a week until he did again when the baby was born. Grandpa was wound up he listened to every detail he kept asking me questions it was really dark outside in the house too except for the glow of his cigarette he flicked the ashes into his palm as though it were an ashtray doesn’t it hurt you I asked no he said old people don’t feel heat anymore because they’re cold inside. But you’re not an old man I said because you have a baby. So he laughed and said I’ll be an old man with a baby but bring me an ashtray anyway I brought him one and he stubbed out the cigarette in it he turned on the light and got up and looked in his suitcase again I thought maybe now but he only took out some underpants and took off his pajamas first the tops and then the bottoms he stood naked in front of me before I could look away I saw what I didn’t want to his long skinny body with the scary white hair and a wrinkled cock below I hardly saw it though I couldn’t understand how he wasn’t ashamed to let me see as though I was a baby I left the room feeling sick. I turned on all the lights I filled the house with light I even turned on the TV what had I been expecting I thought what was in it for me I wouldn’t even have cared if he’d brought me something cheap I watched the TV to forget that white hair down below after a while he came to the living room washed and dressed and shaved with a checked shirt and green pants he even smelled of perfume he sat in the armchair watching Mickey Mouse with me in silence. I got down on my knees to collect my cars aren’t you watching TV he asked no I said it’s for babies. That made him laugh so it’s true what they say he said that there’s a new generation that isn’t addicted to television anymore you’re a member of that generation. I’m glad to see that. Suddenly I knew that he hadn’t brought me anything that he just yakety-yakked all the time. That he thought my generation didn’t need presents. He sat watching TV like a little boy there were sounds of people getting hit and of things being broken I wanted to get up now and watch too but I couldn’t after saying it was baby stuff. Finally it ended some Arabic program came on so I asked if he knew Arabic and turned off the set. Then I sat watching him maybe he wanted to ask me something else.

Just then the door opened and mom walked in with her arms full of packages she was wet from the rain. She smiled at us both. I see you’re up father. I went to her I could see from the shape of the bags that she hadn’t bought me my airplane just flat things like clothes grandpa went to kiss her she took off her coat and wanted to kiss me too.

“How’s Rakefet?”

“She didn’t sleep. You were wrong again. We had terrible problems with her, grandpa too, and it’s all your fault. Where did you disappear to? We had to give her a bath and grandpa cut himself.”

“It’s nothing.” Grandpa laughed. Mom was all confused.

“You gave her a bath?” She laughed. I left them I went to the kitchen I took a knife I put on my coat I opened the front door.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to pick mulberry leaves,” I said. “Do you want all my worms to die?”

“Now? In the dark? In the rain?” She tried stopping me but I slipped past her down the stairs to the street. It wasn’t raining I crossed to the other side I walked toward the bus stop I reached the mulberry tree and tried shinnying up it but it was too slippery a man with a hat on was standing at the bus stop he saw me and helped me grab a branch it was an old man who limped a little I took out my knife and quickly cut the fresh wet leaves.

I gathered a bunch of them and stuck them inside my coat.

“Do you raise silkworms?”

“That’s right.”

He approached me now in the light I could see he was a dirty miserable old man. I started home he turned around and came with me kind of limping.

“Do you have cocoons yet?”

“Yes, five.”

“Soon you’ll have butterflies.”

“I guess so.”

I couldn’t figure out what he wanted.

“Do you know how a cocoon turns into a butterfly?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

But I didn’t. So he began explaining to me what happens inside the sealed white cocoon. He wouldn’t leave me alone he limped along beside me he even offered me candy. Just then the lights of dad’s car shone on us he had driven up quickly. He flung open the door and stepped out with his briefcase.

“Gaddi, what are you doing here?”

The old man stepped to the side.

“Yes? Can I help you?” dad asked.

The man started to mumble something.

“What does he want from you?”

“Nothing.”

“Where do you live?” dad asked him harshly.

The old man didn’t answer he turned to go.

“Beat it! This isn’t the place for you… get a move on, mister!.. What did he want from you? How could you have let him accost you like that? Be more careful, Gaddi, don’t you realize whom you’re dealing with? What’s come over you lately?”

“He helped me pick mulberry leaves. He held the branch for me.”

“All right, come on home. Is grandpa up?”

“Yes.”

“It’s about time.”

I followed him up the stairs how could I have told grandpa all about them now he must be telling mom. I saw her face in the doorway looking at me seriously I went to my room.

It was dark the baby was sleeping you couldn’t even tell she was there I put the new leaves in the box and took out the old ones suddenly I remembered the worm that was lost I went to look for it dad was talking to grandpa by the door of grandpa’s room he gave him some papers the radio was on in the kitchen mom was setting the table in the dining nook. I went to look for the worm in the kitchen.

“What’s the matter, Gaddi?” Her voice was gentle. “Grandpa says you were a wonderful helper.”

I didn’t answer I was looking for that worm maybe it had spun a cocoon. Finally I said:

“You promised the baby would sleep. She cried all the time and even made in her crib.”

“I thought she would sleep. She was up all morning. How was I to know?”

“But you promised.”

“What do you mean, I promised? Don’t be idiotic. How can I promise what she’ll do?”

“Then don’t. But you did.”

She looked tired. Why did I say bad things about her to grandpa? I went to the toy basket I turned it over the worm wasn’t there. I took all my cars and went back to the kitchen and started to throw them in the garbage pail.

“What’s going on there?”

“I’m throwing out some old toys I don’t need.”

“Must you do it now?”

“Yes.”

Dad came to butt in to check up to take over.