A. Yehoshua: A Late Divorce

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

I ran to the bathroom and opened my schoolbag and took out the wet pajamas and stuffed them deep into the laundry bin on the way out I passed grandpa’s door I opened it quietly and saw him sleeping by a suitcase full of clothes but nothing in it seemed to be for me.

I felt mom’s hand. “You’ll see him later when you come home from school.” I ran down the stairs. Dad’s car was running the wipers were on white smoke came out from the back.

“What the hell’s the matter with you? What did you forget this time?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s enough to drive a person up the wall.”

The cars whizzed down the hill without stopping for dad they honked their brakes squealed in the end though he swore and swung into the traffic and let me off by my school.

It was raining harder the children were running someone ran by me and said look at Boxer in boots he was gone before I could grab him I was sure it was the boy from 3A who had called me that before. There wasn’t any lineup we went straight to our rooms the bell rang our teacher Galya talked about the rain which might be the last of the year she wrote last rain on the blackboard we opened our Bibles before she even began hands were up to answer questions that no one had asked we have kids like that in our class. We read about Jacob who thought Joseph was eaten alive because all his brothers lied I was thinking of grandpa was he up yet when Galya told me to read next read what I said the chapter’s finished then start the next one she said and I did. And the famine was sore in the land and it came to pass when they had eaten up the provender which they had brought out of Egypt. Galya stopped me to ask what provender was I said it was some kind of food I didn’t know which then Sigal raised her hand and said it was wheat because that’s what they ate in those days and Galya said wheat and other things too so we talked about making flour from wheat and about baking bread and I opened my schoolbag to see if the bread was still there. At last the bell rang and I took out my sandwich because I was hungry but Galya made me put it back because we don’t eat in first recess.

During recess we stayed in the halls because it was muddy outside the janitor wouldn’t let us out the children were wild I went looking for the boy who called me Boxer just let him try again in the end I spotted him running around a small skinny kid I went up to him he just smiled with his big dark eyes I wanted to hear him say it again so I’d know for sure I could sock him but he didn’t say anything then the bell rang and he went back to his class it was really 3A.

The next class was drawing. Right off I drew a sun and a fence and a house like where grandma lives a man by the fence held a boy’s hand but the boy came out very big almost bigger than the man so I gave him a beard and made a man of him too and gave the first man braids and made him a woman and drew a new boy a baby on the ground with big flowers all around. I showed it to the teacher that’s nice she said but why is the sun so low it’s almost touching the people so I went back to my desk and drew a black cloud over it with rain coming out and wrote last rain on it and gave the man and the woman an umbrella but not the baby he couldn’t hold one he’d have to get wet but by then I was bored so I wrote Gaddi underneath and took out my sandwich and ate it because the drawing teacher doesn’t care if we eat in her class and then I stripped to my gym shorts. The rain had stopped so I went out to the yard we shot marbles in the mud the boy from 3A who never seems to play with boys his own age just with smaller ones was there too he didn’t say a word to me it was like he never had or would he just took out two marbles and shot them sharp and fast. It was a weird game because the marbles kept sticking in the mud they got bigger and bigger like big slow brown balls we all laughed at the fatsos rolling in the puddles there was mud all over us too we really had a good time. But when the bell rang and we started picking up the marbles and putting them back in our pockets Ido from my class thought that one of mine was his and wanted to know where it was and this little kid says just like that Boxer took it while sticking close to a teacher passing by I made believe I didn’t hear but something ached inside I went to look for a stick because once the others learn to call me Boxer there won’t be any stopping it.

Then we had gym it’s the class I hate most because the teacher always picks on me for not touching my toes or raising my arms high enough when my turn came to jump over the horse I went around it at the last second and ran my hand over it when they raised it higher I didn’t even try I just dragged along at the end of the line and let the other kids pass me. The gym teacher called me over try Gaddi he said I’ll help you I said I can’t. If you’d lose some weight you could jump he said so I said it’s not the food it’s my glands there’s something wrong with them. What glands he said who put that into your head? So I explained to him about the glands that make me fat the doctor said so he even gave me a note at the beginning of the year that I wasn’t supposed to jump. The gym teacher gave me such a hopeless look that it’s a wonder I didn’t cry I usually do when he starts up but today he was too tired to yell maybe because it was almost spring vacation. All he said was they’ll get you in the army then he blew his whistle and said now choose teams for dodge ball. I was chosen last and counted out first so I went looking for a stick again I found a short iron rod that I hid behind a fence I hoped it would rain some more so that gym might end early.

At last the bell rang and we went inside to set our desks for the seder we spread them with sheets and took out the matzos and the wine and the lettuce from our schoolbags and put them on the sheets. The music teacher came with her accordion to play Passover songs and we sang and when she went to the next class for them to sing too we said The Four Questions and the blessing for the wine and some other stuff and picked up the matzos and put them down and wrapped them in the lettuce and picked them up again and ate them. I even drank the wine dad gave me at first I made a face but something made me drink it and I finished it all and suddenly felt a bit drunk. Honestly. I even ate Ido’s matzo and lettuce because he didn’t want them.

Then we cleared our desks it was vacation by now because tomorrow we only get report cards. I was so drunk I nearly fell down the stairs I went to my hiding place and took the iron rod and walked slowly home by way of my old kindergarten I stood by the window and looked at the room with all the toys I knew so well and at the teacher who used to be mine sitting on a little chair and telling all the little kids a story it was dumb and for babies but I listened anyway because I remembered it except for the end the parents stood around me with raincoats for their children they kept pushing me ’cause they wanted to hear too so I walked up the street a bit and sat down on the fence to see what would happen just then the boy from 3A came out of the alleyway from school he said goodbye to some older kid who went into his house and started walking toward me. When he saw me on the fence he stopped to think for a second then he crossed to the other side of the street and smiled to himself as soon as he got close still watching me I jumped down and pulled the rod from my coat all at once he was running shouting you fat Boxer I chased him but he was too fast he kept gaining on me all of a sudden he tripped by the time he got up I had grabbed his schoolbag I tore the strap with one pull I knew then I was right he was weaker than me I knocked him back down and threw myself on him because my weight was my strong point he tried biting me but couldn’t I swung the rod because I meant to kill him maybe now. But a grownup standing by ran up and grabbed me that’s enough he said you should be ashamed of yourself hitting little children I started to cry let me go he’s older than me he had already squirmed free he was crying too he was really freaked out there was blood on his face he barked like a dog you fucking Boxer you he picked up a stone from the ground that’s enough you two the grownup said he took the rod away and tossed it into an empty lot he gave the kid a push go home he said he kept his grip on me let me go I said it was raining so the last rain wasn’t the last after all maybe this was. The boy from 3A walked up the street he was crying he was scared of his own blood he kept cursing me I sat down on the fence to dry my face and wait till he was gone the children came out of the kindergarten all the way home I walked close to a neighbor of ours who had come to get her child.