William Gaddis - J R

— Mister Duncan! I hold no brief whatever for the special interests you mention, I am here simply to discuss a rather grave and complex family matter with Mister Bast and I must ask you to find some other source of entertain…

— Want to discuss a family matter Cohen I’ll tell you what my wife did, I put part of the business in her name just for the tax angle when I wanted to get out she wouldn’t let me how do you like that. Nothing she wants nothing she hasn’t got, fourteen years of it I built her a house so big she still carries her handbag from one room to the next one she won’t even give me a divorce, she turned me in to the IRS for ten percent had me followed by detectives got herself a Jew lawyer how would you like to handle it for me.

— No no thank you no, no I’m certain there’s nothing I…

— Always heard the only way to fight a Jew lawyer’s to get another Jew lawyer I’ve been trying to get out of the wallpaper business for fourteen years, you know what I finally did? Ran up the biggest bill we could with our paper supplier and just left it lie there till a company took them over and offered to write it off as a downpayment, said they’d take the rest out of profits son of a bitches finally got me out of the wallpaper business, how do you like that.

— It’s very interesting yes clearly you have no need for a Jewish attorney, now…

— Tell you what I just read about here this wetback who bought a new Cadillac for five dollars, one of these Texas millionaires died he left the proceeds of the sale of his Cadillac and the yacht to some chip, what do you want now Waddles.

— We’re going for a ride Mister Duncan, they want to take your picture up at x-ray, let me get the chair closer here let’s get our feet out and…

— I’ll try to make it quick Cohen, don’t…

— No no please don’t hurry back on my account Mis…

— Mister Duncan!

— Told you I had a surprise for you didn’t I Waddles? Don’t go away Cohen, something else I wanted to ask you…

— Yes thank, heavens. Now Mister Bast perhaps we can concen, what is it you need more paper it’s right down here let me, there, yes I’m sure you can follow what I’m saying while you continue with that you see Mister Bast under the circumstances, you appear to be the only family member available and, and competent to discuss this matter and in light of your own real or possible interest in its outcome I’m sure you can help me to clarify some of its aspects, I’ll try to be brief. As you may or may not have been aware, an element of mistrust appeared to have developed before Mister Angel’s accident between him and his wife your cousin Stella concerning the controlling interest in General Roll. What gave rise to this growing mistrust on both hands of course I have no way of knowing, though I may say that from my frequently close contact with Mister Angel and certainly in light of this recent unhappy event, assuming my interpretation to be the correct one, his was motivated immeasurably less by anything resembling what might perhaps in another instance be construed simply as greed, considering the rather substantial sums of money involved, than by the very understandable fear in a man of his, his ah…

— background and temper…

— Background and yes, yes you are following me then…

— No I’m just listening.

— Yes that’s what I, I see yes at any rate having drawn up Mister Angel’s will in which I am named executor while of course I am not at liberty under the circumstances to divulge its contents whatever its provisions, even were his wife your cousin Stella to be excluded, we are all aware of her incontestable claim as his wife to a portion of his estate which after taxes should amount to approximately eighteen percent of the company, her share of which combined with the half of her father’s estate to which she is clearly entitled giving her altogether about eighteen and one half percent as opposed to the twenty-five percent now controlled by this conglomerate and the twenty-seven controlled by your aunts and their brother James, your father I mean to say if such indeed proves to be the case, in which event of course her claim your cousin Stella’s to her father’s estate in its entirety combined with her minimum portion of that of her husband assuming his failure to survive would secure her…

— Who’s Mister Duncan here.

— What? pardon? Oh, oh he’s not here Miss no I believe he went to be x-rayed he…

— Tell him to call the office about his insurance will he be right back?

— I sincerely trust not but of course I’m in no position to…

— Just tell him to call the office about this health plan he’s got before supper all right? He’ll be back by then?

— I would have no doubt yes now the, Mister Bast? Yes, now this question of the, of Mister Angel yes where, what was I…

— of his amusing failure to survive you said…

— His yes which would of course secure her control with roughly thirty-one percent barring a surprise from other quarters, by which I refer of course to your own status in the matter regarding which I have been making every conceivable effort to reach you for what seems an eternity and which would, of course, assume substantially more complex proportions should it prove in turn related to the intentions of the conglomerate I have just spoken of as these become clarified by the parties to its reorganization with the wealth of possibilities for protracted litigation its rather spectacular dissolution will undoubtedly present, to say nothing of the effect already apparent on the market insofar as this unprecedented downturn which shows no indication of reversing itself, most especially in terms of the overwhelming loss of confidence that has led to the headlong flight of the small investor, is ascribed by growing numbers of market analysts to the events stemming from this particular corporate situation which has filled the papers this past week as I take it under the circumstances you may well have been unaware? Mister Bast? I, I thought you spoke…?

— Have you got a pencil?

— Why why, yes, yes I should have thought of it of course here, yes I mention this simply in passing Mister Bast because the remote possibility that the right hand might be ignorant of the left hand’s activities suggested itself to me in these news stories to which I refer, where I came upon an elusive company officer bearing the same name whose activities appear to have provoked at least one lawsuit and I even saw pictured in the midst of a disorderly episode where unfortunately his features were obscured by a feathered headdress in somewhat…

— This the room that asked for the newspapers?

— Par…? oh, oh that bed there I think yes, thank you. Yes it even occurred to me Mister Bast during the negotiations I…

— That’s a dollar ten.

— The, oh? oh I see all right yes, yes here, in these corporate negotiations I just discussed it had even occurred to me that this coincidence might have inspired their part in General Roll’s divestiture of.its longstanding major interest in the Nathan Wise Company through a bill sponsored by a Senator whose family happens to be among the original stockholders, providing family planning assistance to our prolific neighbors on the Asian subcontinent, and in turn enabling Nathan Wise to write off at retail its vast inventory accumulated since pharmaceutical measures to deal effectively with this historic dilemma have gained such popularity here among our own popula…

— Still here Cohen? good…

— Heavens I, that was quick…

— Technician broke his glasses how do you like that, careful there Waddles…

— I see yes well, yes some newspapers just arrived for you there Mister Duncan I’m sure you’ll find plenty to interest you while Mister Bast and I finish up here in terms of fixed assets you see Mister Bast, the Nathan Wise divestiture leaves the company with only the Astoria plant and its appurtenances, however you may be unaware of the enormous ramifications in terms of extensive damage suits throughout the data processing and punched card industries that may be expected to follow upon final resolution of a lawsuit originating well before my own connection with the company against a firm called JMI Industries then known as the Jubilee Musical Instrument Company, relating to applications of the Jacquard loom approach to information storage and retrieval in the form of punched holes as in the player pi…