William Gaddis - J R

— Did we take our medication?

— What medication just get this tray out of here.

— This little white cup yes you took it didn’t you, if milk of magnesia doesn’t help we may need an enema.

— Just crank me down a little I thought it was the sauce for the fish, here give me those papers read about other people’s troubles see what I mean Bast? Can’t get her mind off enemas here’s one, remember the shelter fad? Here’s one somebody built on Long Island it’s got such a fancy big waste disposal system the whole district’s sewer assessment’s in trouble look at that, afraid of losing federal funding so they’re condemning the whole thing turning it into a public convenience look at it, make a nice fifty holer won’t it Waddles, ever been to Long Island? It says here the water table’s so high the whole island’s turning into a leaching field it may have to be declared a disaster area, one look at it I could have told them that…

— Are you finished too Mister Bast?

— If that fish didn’t finish him nothing will you better take his pulse see if he still has one, here’s a Senate subcommittee that still thinks winning’s what it’s all about holding hearings on a project part of a company the same son of a bitches that got me out of the wallpaper business listen to this. Testifying before the Broos committee on operational difficulties, Doctor Vogel stated that the only remaining problems appear to be those encountered in handling the noise or sound shards as they are called, and in perfecting the timing element in the thawing process. In what Doctor Vogel described as perhaps too ambitious a trial in this early state of the art, the shards comprising Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony proved more difficult to handle than had been anticipated, and the sequential thaw technique was not entirely reliable. Appearing before the committee with his left arm in a cast and his face partially hidden by bandages, the colorful research director stated that the injuries sustained by himself and three of his technicians occurred when the entire first movement thawed in an unscheduled four seconds, ascribing the damage mainly to the strident quality of the musical work’s opening bars…

— Move your feet let me tuck this in here, I don’t think Mister Bast hears a word you’re saying I think he’s gone back to sleep.

— He knows how to get along with people he’s a good listener aren’t you Bast, pass me his orange drink he never touches it. The next test series will be conducted with a selection from The Red Mill by Victor Herbert, which Doctor Vogel chose as being less hazardous to personnel in the event of a repeated malfunction in the thawing process. Initiated by the Defense Department for reasons that remain unclear, the Frigicom project is being carried on in conjunction with noise environment studies in several cities and has attracted the interest of the recording industry due to the complete absence of friction associated with conventional transcription. Concluding his testimony with a jocular reference to turning the other cheek, Doctor Vogel was believed to be referring to cost overrun and feasibility studies in connection with a highly secret project said to involve a revolutionary method of transportation which is the focus of acute military interest. Informed sources stated that his abrupt departure for Texas this evening signaled the probability of a trial run of the new what are you looking for under there Waddles.

— Nothing silly I’m just checking your dressing.

— Check a little further you may get a surprise.

— No now Mister Duncan let’s act our age…

— Just want to get fixed up and get back to Zanesville, crank me down a little will you…? came from the tumult of newspaper, and she drew the door behind her on — here’s a nice one, Bast? you awake? Here’s a politician who pushed a girl out an office window he says she told him she could fly…

And down the corridor, — there’s a call for you on two I think it’s that same lawyer…

— Hello Mister Coen…? Sure he’s much better this eve… no he sleeps a lot but he seems much more… no, no he didn’t have any visitors yet but he’s got this real character in there with him now, they really… tomorrow? Sure, you… you bet Mister Coen yes see you tomorrow then…

Through bull’s eye doors from the lull of an elevator, down those greens lost to the morning sun already failed elsewhere for the decline of afternoon’s — excuse me nurse, I’m looking for…

— You the man to fix the diathermy? It’s right in…

— No no I, I’ve come to see a patient is Miss Wad…

— It’s not visiting time, Miss Waddams…?

— Oh hi Mister Coen you finally made it, he’s down this way. So how’s your other patients.

— Ijust stopped at intensive care yes they, his condition’s unchanged of course they don’t dare operate but…

— I know they really hang on sometimes don’t they there’s no…

— Yes well how is Mister Bast, has he…

— Oh he’s fine he ought to be out in a couple of days, he woke up this morning he wanted fifty sharp pencils he’s been in here drawing pictures all day no right in here, wait till you meet his friend…

— across supermarket counters today following what was explained as an unfortunate lapse in inventory control by a spokesman for the Triangle Paper same son of a bitches who got me out of the wallpaper business how do you like that…

— Mister Bast…?

— Intended for eventual distribution to novelty and mail order houses, sixteen thousand cases of toilet tissue appearing on supermarket shelves in many parts of the nation are the novelty roll variety, so called because alternate sheets bearing ribald messages…

— Mister Bast look you have a visitor!

— We’ve got a case of that they sent us in Zanesville you know what the message is?

— Mister Bast? I’m glad to see you recovered, you look…

— Who are you.

— It’s your friend Mister Coen.

— It’s your friend Mister Cohen Bast maybe he brought your pencils, you know what the message is on these…

— Yes you probably don’t remember our drive in together Mister Bast, I must say I’m greatly relieved to see you up and, what is this you’re doing…

— He’s writing a piece for the unaccompanied cello because all they’ll give him is a crayon, he said he has to finish something before he dies.

— Silly he’s not going to die, now let Mis…

— Well then give him his fifty pencils, how do you know who’s going to die Waddles you give him this drawing paper and one purple crayon all he can write is something for one instrument, give him his fifty sharp pencils he can probably write us a whole concert and bring me some more newspapers…!

— Mister Bast? You may not recall my telling you about Mrs Angel, your cousin Stella? She’s still, still somewhat uncommunicative I saw her downtown last evening where I believe I mentioned she might go for observa…

— Before you sit down Cohen reach across him in that night table and just hand me that urinal?

— Why why, yes excuse me Mister Bast no go ahead with what you’re doing just let me, there. Now. About your aunts Mister Bast I’ve been making every effort to learn what became of them, it occurred to me they might even have returned to Indiana? Recalling their devotion to their local newspaper out there fortunately I remembered the name of it and placed an ad urging them to get in touch with us, I’ve also renewed my efforts to reach their attorney out there a Mister Lemp? Their position seems to have assumed particular urgency since…

— Mind putting this back Cohen? careful…! just got the cuff you won’t even notice it when it dries, listen to this one…