William Gaddis - J R

— Because I don’t want to show up full of scotch when she calls can’t you see that! because it’s going to be hard enough to, to tell her this, about this book tell her I’ll never finish it never write it Christ one thing the one God damned thing she ever really thought I…

— Wait what’s that, listen…

— What…

— No I thought I heard something, somebody out there at the door did I bring in those cigarettes?

— Right there under your…

— Yes and Carol I was telling you did I tell you? what she said? She asked me if it was interesting, if my novel was interesting imagine asking a novelist that? if his novel’s interesting?

— Really can’t, Tom. Imagine that Freddie? Asking a nov…

— No it’s strange you know that sense of order you get in an office I almost miss it? that sense of intimacy this girl Carol she’d sit on the edge of my desk God I really was stupid you know? short yellow dress probably why she sat that way look right up wherever I look I, Jack I took David for a walk in the woods yesterday even looking up at a tree that open scar where a branch is gone that long oval shaggy edge like the lips pulled open God even coffee this morning, pouring milk from the carton how it comes out in spurts Jack I’ve got to tell you this I, last night coming back I stopped for a light down on Third a girl came over and, she came up to the car ten dollars a french right there in the car all I had was a twenty she said she, she said I live right in here my sister can change it Jack I gave her the twenty I just gave it to her, sat there waiting I sat there watching the building waiting for her to come out I must have sat there for ten minutes before I, till I finally…

— Really can’t give me this can you Tom.

— What give you what…

— Never mind look, do you want something to eat?

— No now wait give you what I, Jack I just told you something I’d never tell anybody all you can say is…

— I said never mind God damn it do you want…

— No now wait damn it this book is that what you mean this book? this excuse you’ve got now for not writing this book you’ve been…

— Excuse Tom Jesus!

— I just meant look I mean being objective Jack facing it honestly instead of this turning it into this Tolstoy play this, to make the whole world know what it lost that’s all I’m saying, this I shall write nothing the world will have to understand all by itself…

— Even take this away wouldn’t you Tom, even try to take this away wouldn’t you.

— All right listen do you know what I found on the floor here cleaning up? Your notes all your notes for this book I put them up here look, footmarks pages torn look at them Jack it was all over before you found this out wasn’t it, before you even went down to the hosp…

— Like that string there, God damned wad of gum on that string out there rain or shine hope they’d get that God damned quarter you couldn’t even let them have that, could you Tom.

— No now wait…

— You hungry Freddie?

— No wait listen can’t you see what I, Jack I stopped at a diner last night on the way down sitting alone at that counter I could feel a, grilled cheese sandwich I could almost feel a head inside mine chewing I could hear it like a hollow, like an old head like an old head inside mine chewing I even looked around to see if anybody else heard it or, or saw it God can’t you see what…

— Look just tell me one…

— Cigarette look at the end of it’s wet teeth separating I mean can’t you see what I…

— Look Tom, do you want any of this God damned veal Marengo or not.

— No I, no…

— You Freddie? What do you, wait what the hell’s going on out there…

— Is that, sounds like somebody at the door…

— First class funeral out front three, four black Cadillacs bastards came a little early didn’t they move your, here get Moody’s out of the way sit right here Freddie vea pasar los cadáveres de sus enemigos how’s that.

— Jack? Man at the door here you’d better talk to him he…

— Sit in the front door watch the bodies of…

— Says he’s a deputy U S marshal Jack he’s got some kind of subpoena for…

— Bring him in, come in Mister Marshal pick up that cup by your foot there pour you some grape drink, want to bring in the can Tom?

— Wait now who’s Mister, sorry somebody taking a bath here?

— No no tub’s free now go right ahead, don’t stand on ceremony here do we Tom hand Mister Marshal one of those little red boxes…

— Jack stop it look this man’s a federal marshal, he’s…

— Drovie my name’s Drovie now which one of you’s Mister, papers right here wait a minute, Urquhart? Mister Teets? Mister Bast? Mister…

— Look Marshal my name is Eigen Thomas Eigen I’m a writer this is Mister Gibbs, whatever this is all about we’re not even…

— Don’t get all hot and bothered friend, SEC just wants your company’s officers and directors downtown to answer a few questions bring along your records…

— Got the Boswell Sisters doing Down on the Delta think they’d like that one Tom? Muddy water used to be my playground, dudu…

— Be quiet Jack look Marshal, whatever this company you’re talking about we don’t even…

— J R Corp isn’t that the name of it? Papers right here yes, see here? J R Corp, now what about that rear apartment is that part of…

— Wouldn’t go back there Marshal got the abominable snowman back there he’d…

— Jack be quiet…

— Be quick, jump over the God damned somebody else at the door…

— Don’t pay any attention to him Marshal he’s just had some news that upset him acting a little difficult but…

— See all kinds in my business friend, like to use your telephone though if you…

— Can’t use it, Tom? Tell him no outgoing calls God damned door here’s ready to, just a minute, Tom? Only take incoming calls show him the phone bill I said just a minute!

— Mister Gibbs? is that…

— Yes just a, Bast…!

— I’m sorry to bother you Mister Gibbs I’ve just…

— No no here wait get the door…

— What are you whispering for what’s…

— Before you go in look there’s a U S marshal in there he’s, wait turn around Christ what’s happened to you!

— No I’m all right what does he want, is it the bomb?

— What bomb he’s got a fistful of subpoenas for this company you’re mixed up with will you tell me what the…

— But I have to get my mail is there any mail for me?

— Roughly sixty pounds now look…

— But Mister Crawley do you know if he got that tape? did he send my…

— He’s delighted yes told me to tell you the sonorous torns of ho, toes of damn it listen…

— But the check he was going to pay me, did he say…

— Said he’d sent it yes some project didn’t work out but he’s a man of his word now look can you tell me what the hell’s…

— Jack? Who’s out there…

— Nobody just the, just the mail Tom be right in look Bast, go across the street watch the front window soon as this marshal leaves I’ll…

— I can’t no I ran into somebody some people they’re waiting for me out there Mister Gibbs if you could…

— Not that funeral now listen…

— No well sort of yes if I can get a ride home to get some clothes, if you could sort of entertain the marshal till they’re gone the cars I mean, if you could look in the mail for me Mister Gibbs that check before anything happens to it…

— I’ll try yes but God damn it some things I have to talk to you about Bast something I, look out wait what the hell is all this?

— You the place order the box lunches?