William Gaddis - J R

— Somebody says where’s the boss at says he supposed to be in court…

— Like tell them to fuck off I mean I’m expecting this very important wow, like I mean what’s this Macy’s window?

— What in, look who the hell are you what are you doing here where’s…

— Man he’s answering the telephone I mean what does it look like he’s doing here, I mean…

— But what, where’s Jack what’s…

— Like how do I know where’s Jack and I mean who’s that, like I mean what am I supposed to be some fucking sideshow?

— Who’s what wait, wait who are you…

— Yes you’re Mister Grynszpan? I have a summons here for…

— Look damn it I’m not Mister Grynszpan my name’s Eigen, now what the hell’s…

— Oh, this Mister Grynszpan on the phone then? Here you are sir, U S District Court Southern District BMT take you right there, now Mister Bast? One here for you from the United States…

— Man look at these I mean do I look like Mister anybody? I mean get out everybody get out of here!

— Sure you’re not Mister Bast either sir? I have a subpoen…

— I’m damn sure yes now get out of here you too, get down from that phone and get the hell watch that door! Look where’s, what are you doing here where’s wait you’re the, your name was Rhoda wasn’t it you…

— Like what do you mean was and I mean what are you staring at, what does it look like I’m doing man I mean look hang that telephone back up I’m expecting this important call and I mean that door, like push something against it before he gets that stuff in here…

— What stuff who…

— This delivering man I mean he’s like delivering this thousand plastic flowers, like I mean can’t you hear he’s knocking the fucking stairs down out there…

— Oh that’s no, no that’s all right that’s somebody else, friend of Jack’s and mine he’s just bringing a big easel up to…

— Like you and him have some friends man I mean hand me that shirt…

— It’s all right he’s not coming in here with it he won’t bother us, he’s a painter been looking for a place to work he’s just putting his things back in the empty, here let me…

— Look I mean I said just hand me the shirt. I mean like I can get out by myself okay?

— Yes I just, here…

— And I mean look man I mean I can dry myself too, okay?

— What’s the matter I just…

— Like nothing’s the matter I mean I just don’t need your hand there okay?

— No but what’s…

— I said I can dry there myself!

— What’s the matter what’s so…

— I said nothing’s the matter just get your look man I mean the telephone’s man I’m not kidding, I mean let me answer the fucking telephone get your…

— Just, wait damn it I’ll answer it just…

— I mean I’m expecting this very important…

— Hello…? He’s not here no, who… Oh it’s you yes Jack’s been waiting for you to call he’s… just went out a little while ago yes but where can he reach you, I know he can’t wait to… Yes he’s told me about you it all sounds… pardon? No, no it’s e i g, I thought… Thomas yes Tom I, I thought Jack had probably… No he was but I’m giving the place up you see my wife just pardon…? No it’s a, it’s sort of a studio uptown he’s been working here since you left I’m just having my calls transferred here, I thought if my wife wanted… No not recently no something I wrote a few years ago’s out in paperback picked up some kind of an award but pardon…? Oh, oh you mean his book yes, yes he’s been working on it driving himself pretty hard since you left been having a few problems with the… I don’t think it’s really that though someone who’s not used to the kind of self-discipline that… No but every writer has dry periods I’m just coming out of one myself, quit my job I feel like I just got over a long illness but I’ve been having a little pardon…? Oh you’re still at the airport you just got in? I didn’t… just said Geneva yes he thought it was some family problem I know he’ll be glad to hear you’ve straightened it out, once these things get started I know my own lawyer’s said he thinks I should…

— Look man hang up I mean I’m expecting this very…

— Pardon…? Oh you’re, you’re welcome yes I… yes I’ll tell him that I know he’s… I will yes I’m looking forward to meet… hello?

— Look I mean I’m expecting…

— Yes I heard you, listen that’s a call Jack’s been waiting for, someone he’s…

— Somebody he really doesn’t want to see man I mean I heard all about it.

— Heard what don’t be silly, it’s the only thing holding him together he’s…

— Man like nothing’s holding him together I mean if there’s really somebody he doesn’t want to see it’s her, like I mean who took my pants…

— Well damn it where is he, keeps saying he thinks he’s sick I’ve been telling him to see a doctor listen was he drinking last night? Where the hell is he.

— Like I said how do I know where is he, I mean these plaid pants I can’t find them maybe he wore them to go to the doctor place man I mean maybe he’s still up in that pile of boxes in there from last night.

— Whole place is such a mess hardly get through the, what are all these matchbooks dumped my God what happened in here anyhow, books and mail dumped all over the look how did this happen, these toys I sent up here how did they get…

— Look man I mean they’re all broken anyway what do you…

— No but look film papers cans all over the Christ is that a cat up there?

— Oh wow, like I was scared he got drownded…

— Got what?

— Like this shipwreck man, I mean this big storm last night there was this shipwreck here kitty kitty…

— Listen what are you talking about, this…

— Man I mean I was in it!

— All right never mind look, I just…

— Like what do you mean never mind I mean what does it look like happened here man.

— God knows, I thought Jack was…

— Knows what I mean I’ll tell you one thing he’s no fucking good in a shipwreck. Kitty kitty…?

— All right listen I may have some important mail here and I’m looking for a, damn it look there are a lot of valuable papers stored here whole manuscript of my book splitting right down the side that box that says Hoppin’ With…

— Man like that’s where the armchair traveler…

— And this folder I’m looking for something I, some work I started it’s an old manila folder with tea stains all over it think I mislaid it someplace have you…

— Man like the only old wait look out look out, I mean right by your foot that piece of folded paper…

— What this? but what…

— Man don’t spill it I mean wow I didn’t know I still have some left move your, look I mean there’s hardly room to…

— Get your feet up then I’m just trying to see what these, Christ look how did this happen! all the notes for his book how could…

— How could I what I mean he’s sitting here scraping it up with his feet like what am I supposed to do, I mean he hates it man.

— Hates it don’t be, it’s the only thing holding him together reason he’s working on it again I told you this call he just got, she’s…

— What man she’s what, I mean I’m telling you nothing’s holding him together man she’s why he hates it! I mean the telephone rings he says it’s the wrong number, like this big important call he says he already got it he won this free dance lesson man I mean you’re in there talking to her like she’s this big fucking inspiration I mean this load she put on him she’s really wiped him out man he doesn’t want to see her!