James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

I did not want Matt to sell the bike to him. Rona Craig's big brother was good, he showed ye how to. He did not mind if ye watched. I went with Billy MacGregor and Peter Wylie. I said to him about Matt's bike and how it was not going good. Oh just bring it and I will see it.

That was what he said. I telled Matt but Matt just was moaning. Oh to pot with Rona Craig's brother.

He did not like him. It was because he was good with bikes. He did not know him. They went to different schools. Rona's big brother had three bikes and worked on them out in the back close. He let us see his best one. Ye could lift it up with one hand. Even just with yer pinkie. It was a real racer and cost a right mint of money. His grannie got him it for his birthday. It had a green and white frame so it was Celtic but he did not bother about that. Oh it is Italian, it is white and green.

He did not care about football and even who the teams were, and players playing for Rangers, he did not know who they were. Oh but bikes and who was racing champion, that was all he wanted.

He put them upside down and picked into the chain and all the wee inside bits with a toothbrush, and then the spokes too, getting them all spick and span. Ye needed it right for racing, so if it was spick and span, that stopped the rust. And then with the oilcan, ye oiled in all the wee bits. Oh anything that moves ye just oil it. He showed us.

He had two other bikes and kept them in a fixed wheel. Fixed wheels made ye crash so ye had to watch it. We got a shot on one and it was hard. Ye had to keep working the pedals and if ye took yer feet off — oh well you should not take off yer feet because trying to get them back into yer pedals, ye could not, the pedals were just whizzing round and round and yer feet banged into them and could not do it. A motor car was at the side of the road when Billy was going and he crashed into it, the handlebars skliffing along the side. A man saw him but he got away.

Rona's big brother went long runs on his bike. He went away down to Loch Lomond and over the hills. Lots of people went. They made fires and boiled tea. Men were there too, and it was a good laugh round the fire and all having yer tea and people brought pieces with them and sometimes if it was a frying pan, somebody had one and they made sausages and just gived ye one. Rona's brother had all pals that went. It was a club for cyclists and they joined it. Matt could have joined it too. I asked. But just if he got his bike good, then he could go.

I telled him. My maw was listening. Even an old bike, ye could get it good if ye fixed it. Ye got it clean and oiled and if it was spick and span. I would take it to Rona's big brother. So if he just done something and showed me and we could fix it. Maybe we could.

But it is my bike, said Matt.

Oh but we can clean it all up.

Well it would be nice to see it clean, said my maw. Your father is sick of seeing it so filfy.

Well it is too old, said Matt.

It is not too old to be cleaned.

But mum it is falling to bits.

Oh he only wants to sell it, I said.

Well you just want it for yourself, said Matt.

Oh I do not.

Yes you do.

Well I would go it. You do not go it.

Because ye cannot go it, it is a fawnti.

It is not a fawnti.

What is a fawnti? said my maw.

Falling to bits, said Matt, that is what it is.

Oh Matt it is not fawin it is falling.

I said blooming falling.

You did not, you said fawin. You can surely speak better than that.

Oh well if I want to. If I want to I want to. It is not blooming fair. It is my bike.

Oh Matt.

She did not like him saying blooming. But it was not a swear word and it was not a bad word.

Well I would clean it, I said.

Matt looked at me but I did not look at him, then he made a signal. He was going to get me. It was a punch. I did not care. If he punched me for nothing. Brothers done that. They done it on the shoulder. Ye walked by and they just punched ye. I would not have hurt a young brother like that. No unless if he just really really needed it. And it would be a wee skelp, only a tap, so he knew no to do it the next time. But Matt done it for nothing.

Oh well if Kieron can get it cleaned, said my maw.

Matt shaked his head and went away out the room. That was him. Now it was a right bad temper with me but I did not care.

After teatime me and him were in the kitchenette doing the dishes. I washed and he dried. He hated washing but I liked it because ye were first finished. But sometimes he just stopped before everything was washed. Oh I will come and dry it after. He did that to be first finished.

He was not talking to me because of the bike but I was talking to him. He kidded on he was not listening. He whistled a tune, and was clinking plates and cups. I did not care.

But that is what he done and it annoyed ye. So if ye were just trying to tell him something and it was clinking clinking and then whistling, he done it loud.

I was just saying about the Milano bike. That was Rona's big brother's. It was a real racer and a lightweight. No like Matt's. It was the opposite, it was not thick and not heavy and its wheels were thin and just sparkling clean and all straight spokes and just clean and the saddle too was a racing saddle, it was slim-line, and wee tiny mudguards, white and green the same as the frame and the wheels too, just no like Matt's, squeaking all the time, squeak squeak squeak, that was all his done.

The blooming wheels are buckled, said Matt.

But if Rona's big brother looked at it and could fix it. Maybe he could. He had good tools. He kept them in a wee satchel and could change a tyre in two minutes.

I do not care if it is one minute or no minutes. Who cares? I do not.

Oh but he is good and shows ye how to do it.

I do not care if he is good. I can change the tyres myself. The blooming wheels are buckled.

But if they are oiled?

But they are buckled.

But Rona's big brother

Oh Rona's big brother

Well he can do it.

I do not care, I am selling it.

It is not yours to sell.

Yes it is.

If Uncle Billy gived ye it.

Uncle Billy gave me it.

Well if he did.

Now my da came into the kitchenette. Oh it is loud voices the night, what yez arguing about?

It is my bike, said Matt, Uncle Billy gave me it. If I want to sell it I can sell it.

That old thing, who is going to buy it? My da laughed. Yer Uncle Billy fished it out the Clyde.

Oh but dad, I said, if it was just cleaned.

Well if it was cleaned, that is a start, it needs to get cleaned.

But there is no point dad if the wheels are all buckled. Matt said, It is falling to bits, it is just falling to bits.

Well if it is falling to bits who is going to buy it?

Joey Johnston.

Who is Joey Johnston?

He buys old stuff like bikes. He does them up and sells them.

Who to?

People.

What people?

He steals stuff, I said.

Who steals stuff?

Joey Johnston.

How do you know? said Matt.

I just do.

No you do not.

Aye I do.

Ssh, said my da, then to Matt, That fellow will not give ye much money.

Well he will give me something.

Bikes are dear son, how no let yer brother have a go? He wants to try fixing it.

But he cannot.

But he wants to have a go.

Matt was just looking at the sink.

Eh? said my da.

I know a big boy will help me, I said.

Oh well if he does, said Matt and he tossed away the dishcloth. He went straight out the kitchenette and into the bedroom. He shut the door, but no slamming it. My da did not like slamming doors and was looking after him. Then he looked at me. Who is the big boy?

Rona Craig's big brother. She is in my class at school. Oh but da he has got a smasher, it is a Milano racing cycle and just light as a feather. His grannie got him it. She just got him it and it was a mint of money. That is Rona's grannie. She stays in the same house as them. I will take it round to him.