James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

They all were looking at me.

Well if he is an adopted child, wee weans get adopted, if ye are a orphan, maybe if yer real maw and da got killed, if it was the war, ye just get adopted.

That is right, said Podgie.

Are you a orphan? said Mitch.

No.

He is no a orphan, said Billy, that is stupid.

Aye but Billy it is no stupid, people do not know if they are orphans. Nobody tells them, I said, ye just find out later.

I am no a f*****g orphan, said Peter.

Aye but if ye are a real one. So yer real da, maybe if he was a Jew.

Or else yer maw, said Gary.

That happens to people. Their real maws and das get killed. The wee babies are left and people adopt them.

They all were listening to me and I said it to them. It is true. Nobody tells ye, ye just find out later. It would be the same if ye were something else. There was a boy that was a Pape and brought up a Proddy. I read it in a story, him and his sister were rightful true Heirs. So they had to journey to faraway lands. Then that was them, they met their real maw. Their da was dead. So then the boy was the King. He had to do it, even if he did not want to. He ruled over all the land.

What age was he? said Mitch.

Thirteen.

F**k sake.

He was a Pape and brought up as a Proddy.

Podgie said, Oh Mitch, get the fags out.

Mitch got them. After he lit one he gived it to Podgie for the first limit. Three draws was a limit. If ye got a limit ye got yer three draws. Podgie always got a limit off people but other ones, if it was you, usually ye just got one draw.

But how come Podgie got it first before Mitch, if it was Mitch's fag? He got more out it than Mitch. Mitch just lit it and got one draw then passed it to him. Then Podgie passed it to Gary. Gary put his hand out and Podgie just gived him it. That was what they done. Podgie and Gary and Gary and Podgie. But they were not bothering about Peter.

I was glad nothing happened to him and Billy. I liked them coming with us. Peter was a good climber. He used the ronepipe. But his house was just one storey up. He knew mine was the top flat. If he wanted to climb it I would let him, he could do it after school, it was just me in the house.

We were going along by the burn and I said about the high tree. I still wanted to climb it and make a swing. It would be a great swing and go right over the burn. We just needed a rope. We could knock one off the workies. Oh aye, said Mitch.

No the now, said Podgie.

Oh come on.

No.

We will go another time, said Gary.

How no just now? I said.

Oh f**k Smiddy, we will go another time.

Oh but we can still go and just see it.

No, said Podgie, I am no f*****g going.

Me neither, said Gary. I cannot f*****g be bothered.

Aye but I can just show yez it. Oh come on. Peter and Billy have not seen it.

Neither have I, said Mitch.

He is the only c**t that has seen it, said Podgie.

We could kick a ball about instead, said Billy.

Aye, said Podgie, six of us, that is three a-side, three a-side is good.

F**k football, said Gary, I do not feel like it.

Neither do I, said Peter, I would f*****g like to see the high tree as well. Oh Smiddy whereabouts is it?

It is just along the burn.

How far have we to f*****g walk? said Gary.

Oh it is no too far.

F*****g better no be, you are a b*****d Smiddy, ye always have to get everything.

I do not.

Ye f*****g do, said Gary.

Him and Podgie were moaners about climbing because they did not do it much. But if they did they would like it. Mitch had started doing it and he liked it. He said about climbing mountains, it would be good to do that. Gary just thought it was daft. If ye said about climbing to him. Oh do not be so f*****g stupid, I am no climbing that. But he was skinny and could have climbed good.

Podgie was just a moaner. Mitch said it too, Oh Podgie is a moaning-faced b*****d. That was him when we were walking. Moan moan moan. It is a f*****g swamp. Oh the grass is f*****g wringing. Oh my maw will kick up f**k when she sees my shoes.

We went along the side of the burn. There was all good trees here with big branches. But the high tree was just the best. But then we got to it and there was no low-down branches and no wee bits sticking out. They all were sawed off too. Somebody had done it like it was just stripped.

If it was men done it maybe for firewood. But usually it was just a tree that was dead, else it was sap and did not burn right. Ye flung branches on the fire and if there was sap it just bubbled out and smoked. Big boys used to set complete fields on fire just burning all the grass and ye thought it was going to come up the hill and burn down yer house. I loved the smell. Me and Mitch made fires and that was what happened, if ye saw the dry grass, ye just lighted the match.

Maybe the men just done it to the tree to stop people climbing. I was seeing how to do it but ye could not see everything the farther up it went. If something was up there, maybe there was. Maybe a tree-hut. Ye got tree-huts. People made them. It was safe. Ye could sit there and ones would be walking down on the ground. They would not know ye were there. Imagine walking down a path in the woods and voices talking up a tree. Ye would be feared. Ye would think it was goblins or evil sorcerers going to get ye. If ye were up the tree and making scary noises, if lasses were walking under and ye were kidding on ye were an owl hooting, the lasses would be screaming and bawling.

But ye had to talk quiet too if gangs came and they heard ye, they would have stanes to fire at ye.

Trees had to be the right kind to build a hut. It was how the branches fitted. Then if ye built one ye had to watch out for people. Gangs came along and smashed it. The Squatters were away now but other ones went about and ye had to watch it. They went looking for stuff. If ye had a rope swing they used it till it fell down. If it was a tree-hut they would just smash it up. So if there was one up the high tree and people were trying to hide it. Maybe there was. The branches went dead thick going up the top and ye could not see past them. Imagine there was one. We could all just go up. I could climb the tree and see.

Oh but if there is no f*****g branches?

Oh but look, ye can get yer foot on the edges! Look!

Ye could. If ye went up a wee bit you would be okay. It was the way the branches got sawed. There was wee toty bits left. Ye could get yer feet on. If ye could climb the first bit, that was all.

I showed them but Podgie was moan moan moan. That was all he done, a true moaner. He would never climb the high tree anyway so how come he was saying it? Podgie always said if ye could not do it. Oh ye cannot do that. That was Podgie. If you said something, he said something else. He kept doing it till ye stopped, so then he done his wee smile. But this time it did not matter because it was no just Mitch, Peter Wylie backed me up and so did Billy. Gary backed up Podgie. I am no going up, he said.

Oh but ye do not have to, I said, I can just go up and see.

Me too, said Peter.

I will go too, said Mitch, if it is a tree-hut it will be f*****g smashing. We can just f*****g hide in it. It will be great.

See the next time, I said, we can bring pieces with us and bottles of ginger. Nobody will see us. Ye are just really high up and all the leaves and branches, it is just all thick, so if they look up, they will not see nothing.

It will just be like a f*****g roof, said Peter.

Gary laughed. I am going to bring up n**e books.

So now everybody was laughing and saying about it. Podgie too. Mitch got another fag and we smoked it.

It was just me, Mitch and Peter going up. Mitch was the worst climber so he went first. Me and Peter put our hands the gether, fingers inbetween, making a strong step so he got his foot on and we hoisted him. He got on our shoulders trying to reach up to the edges of the sawed branches but he was not doing it good and he was heavy. His feet were kicking yer head and yer ear and then on top of yer head trapping yer hair and it was agony. Oh Mitch Mitch!