James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

Billy MacGregor said, Oh Smiddy, did ye hear about the Lifies? They are starting soon. They telled us down the Church.

They are going to have a football team, said Peter Wylie.

Oh that is smashing.

You joining?

Aye, I said, we had a great Lifies back in the old place.

So did we, said Peter and was telling about how all the things they done. Me and Billy were saying about it too. I saw Julie Michaels looking at us. If she was listening. She saw me seeing her and turned to Lorna Buckle.

Then Podgie was there and saying about climbing. He was just butting in. How come he was talking about that? He thought we were talking about it but we were not. Podgie did not like climbing. Because really he could not climb. So how come he was saying about it?

Except just getting in with us, he did not like us talking because he was not here. He wanted to stand with us so we would be with him. It was to be the boss.

He was looking at me. How come? I did not care. Because I did not like him booting the ball into the lasses. Because I went with Peter Wylie and Billy MacGregor.

If he said about climbing, that was just stupid. The other one that did not climb was John Davis. Podgie hated it because then it was him and John Davis and that put them together. Even a wee wall. Oh climbing is's***e. I cannot be bothered climbing. That was Podgie. But if he climbed a wee wall then he could climb a big one. I even said it to him. Climb a wee wall first then do a big one. It is just the same.

No it is not.

It is. Ye just do not look down, no till ye get good at it.

That is right, said Peter Wylie.

Is it f**k, said Podgie, what if ye fall off:'

Aye but ye do not fall off, I said.

Oh you are always talking.

No I am not.

You think you are the best climber.

No I do not. I do not.

I saw other people looking. But I did not say I was the best climber. I was not a boaster, if they thought I was, I was not. So if I was a best climber. But no the complete best. I did not say I was.

But so maybe I was. I did not care. If I was I was. If I wanted to climb something I climbed it. If I wanted to. It was up to me. I would just do it. It was my business. Even if it was my da. I did not care if it was my da. I said it. Oh if I want to climb something I will climb it. I just want to do it.

Well what if it is yer da? said Podgie. If he f*****g catches ye.

What about it?

Oh ha ha, said Podgie. So he gives ye a doing!

Well that is his business.

So if he batters ye?

It is his business.

Ha ha.

Well I do not care either if it is me. Mitch said, If it is my f*****g da, and he catches me if I am doing something I do not f*****g care. I would just kill him.

People were looking when Mitch said that.

Other people now were talking about their das and what like they were. Lasses too. Then Rona Craig said about her da, how he got killed in the Army. I knew that because she said it before. It was her maw and her grannie in the house. I liked that, so ye just could do things, if yer da was not there. She had a big brother too. Me and the boys knew him because he had great bikes and showed ye how to do stuff. I liked Rona Craig. She had a wee face and brown hair and just how she had a quite loud voice and was aye laughing and playing with other lasses. She was quite cheeky Her voice was there now and ye heard her, she was saying about her uncle and auntie. They were taking her and her cousin to the circus for a Christmas present, it was to the Kelvin Hall, the circus and the carnival were coming. Oh I am going too! shouted a lassie.

Oh my da worked in the carnival, said somebody.

Donald MacDonald said how his uncle was a great football player with Rangers. But he did not play for Rangers, it was just trials to play for them. A Primary 6 boy's uncle played for a team down in England. Another one shouted about his granda played for Clyde and got capped for Scotland. I did not know who the boy was. I thought he was Primary 5 except Primary 5S usually were in the other shelter.

Now people were saying about their grannies and grandas. I could have about mine and how he was a good boxer, his pal wore the amateur vest for Scotland and was a champion, then my grannie too and how if it was swimming, she was just a great swimmer. But now all people were talking and just loud so ye could not hear one because they all were doing it. The wee ones too, Oh de de de de de de, de de de de de de. It was seagulls out the shelter, goh goh goh goh, quoh quoh quoh. All their voices.

The rain got louder now and pattering off the roof, bouncing off the ground. People were watching it. Podgie said, Oh Smiddy, I know a wall ye cannot climb.

He stepped out, pulling his jacket up over his head, and pointing up at the school roof. Ye cannot climb that. Ye can never climb that.

How no?

Because ye cannot.

How?

Just because ye cannot.

How?

Oh are you trying to say ye could? Oh are ye? Are you trying to f*****g say ye will climb it?

Maybe.

Well do it?

No.

Because ye f*****g cannot. Ye cannot. If ye could ye would.

Maybe.

Do it!

No.

Because ye cannot.

Maybe I can.

Well go and f'*****g do it.

No the now if it is raining, it is pelting.

Well do it after. Do it at four o'clock.

Podgie was talking in a loud voice. So people all were hearing. Lasses too. All watching. So if ye were going to climb it or ye were just a coward? Did ye just do what Podgie telled ye to do? That was Mitch. Go and skelp that lassie's b*m and he would go away and do it.

Podgie was laughing at me. How come? I never done nothing to him. It was just jealous.

Oh he was the best at everything. That was what he wanted. Okay if it was fighting and throwing stones and stuff, or if football, sometimes he was good at football and ye said that, maybe, maybe if he was. But no climbing. No running. No swimming either, he never went. I said to Mitch how he never came to the swimming baths, just because he cannot swim!

But even if it was yer da. Podgie had the best da. Oh my da comes here with me and goes there with me. Oh if my maw says that to me. Just leave the boy alone.

That was Podgie's da. He got Podgie the Rangers strip so he was going to play for Rangers. Ye just got sick of it.

Then Gary McNab said, Ye going to do the school roof Smiddy?

Maybe.

When? said Podgie. Do it the f*****g now. No.

So when?

At four o'clock. No if it is raining but. I am no doing it if it is raining.

***

It was a flat roof. If ever a ball went up it would stay up. But none went up. People said they did but it was too high. I thought that. How could ye kick one up? Ye could not. Except if ye threw it. But ye could not. No even a wee one. Even if ye batted it up. Unless maybe a golfball. I did not care about balls on the roof. Better if there was none. I did not want nothing on the roof. It was the highest. Nobody would see ye up on it. Ye would just be there and that would be that. So if ye were up ye were up, seeing down over all the roofs, right the way over and then there were the hills away way over the gun-site and up to the highlands. That was us in the new scheme. The Minister said it at Friday Assembly. Only thank the Heavenly Father because where we were, it was the beautifullest place if ye would want to be anywhere. Imagine ye were stuck in the middle of the town and could not see any single thing except tenement buildings, would that not be awful? Only give thanks to the Heavenly Father.

Reverend Christie had a baldy head and a tough face but people liked him because he told stories from the Bible and good ones about the Army and stuff. Oh there was this young man who saw slaughter with a heavy heart. One day we would all grow up.