James Kelman - Kieron Smith, Boy

I went into the kitchenette. My maw was making the tea. I got the rubbish bin from under the sink. I am away down the midden.

Oh thanks Kieron.

I ran downstairs. Out at the midden I emptied the rubbish and looked up to see where I had been. It was good seeing it. The wee pipe went into the kitchenette. The other one stretched over to the bathroom. But ye could not get to the bathroom. It was too far, there was no grips. It was only the window, so how could ye get to it? Oh it did not matter, the balcony was just great and I was seeing how I done it and it was so high. How had I done it? But I had. I had just done it, it was just the greatest thing. And seeing how ye got to the balcony. Ye reached yer hand to the wee round bar on top and gripped it tight to take yer weight. Inch by inch ye could leave go the pipe with yer other hand, then yer elbow on the top of the wall and ye hoisted up and ye were over and jumping down to the balcony floor. That was how ye done it. And if ye looked and somebody was watching ye, ye could give them a wee wave.

So that was me now and I climbed it a lot of times. I just thought about it in school so if the teacher was talking. Oh stop dreaming Kieron Smith.

That was me and I was just thinking about it. I telled the boys. Gary said, Oh Smiddy is a boaster.

I was not a boaster, just if I did it and I said it.

Mitch came home with me after school. It was raining but and I did not do it. So the next time it was dry. Him and Peter Wylie came with me. I did not take them in the house but just went to get the kitchenette door. Ye had to watch it was not locked else ye could not get in. Only if the wee window was open. There was the big kitchenette window and then a wee one at the top of it. Only the wee one got opened. Ye could crawl through but it was the side of the sink down below and ye slid in, so ye had to catch the edge of it and then be careful coming through, if yer legs banged and yer shoe crashed the window and then if it broke.

If my maw and da caught me climbing the balcony I would get a doing. I knew I would.

But then what happened, Matt knew I done it. He just said it one day to me. How did he know? Somebody telled him. He would not say who, but somebody.

He did not climb it. I said to him but he did not want to. What other boys done it? I did not see them, except him from the street across the back. Over here it was me, I was the one that done it. Danny's house was on the ground floor so he did not have a balcony. Ground-floor houses got the wee garden at the front so that made up for it. Danny's da put in flowers and wee bushes. Pat's house was up the top flat and he did not fancy climbing it. When nobody was there I climbed his to show him. He was on the balcony looking down at me and talking all the time. Hey Kieron, Kieron!

But I did not look up at him. If ye looked up ye just got dizzy and oh ye were going to go back the way or if the ronepipe came away in yer hand. People said it would, the nails popped and that was that and ye just went over and would get a broken back or if ye landed on yer head ye would just pass away. Big George said that, Matt's pal. Oh ye would get killed, yer head would just smash open. Or if it was yer face landing and getting flattened.

But if ye held on tight. I did not look up but I could look down. It was best just climbing and no looking anywhere except just the pipe and the wall next to ye. Ye knew where to put yer feet and did not even look, just up up. I was fastest. I would have raced Matt. If he went up the stairs, I would have climbed it. I would beat him, no unless he ran. But if I could still beat him, maybe I could.

Then I found how to do the bathroom. That was the hardest. I did not like doing it much. Ye were past the join and had to stretch yer hand over and ye were sticking close into the wall. Ye had to do that. And ye could not see because yer head was the same way facing, that was into the wall. And ye did not want to move it. Ye could not because for the balance. So it was just yer hand and it was inch by inch and just yer fingertips oh just reaching over just reaching over till they touched the wall at the ledge and ye could hardly see, because ye were looking into the wall. Ye set yer fingertips there and then yer one foot inch by inch, it was yer knee, so to get that, ye were wanting to get that to the ledge if ye could get yer knee there, just at the edge and if ye could do that oh just a wee bit inch by inch and if ye made it, oh, and the wee top window had to be open so ye reached to it and got a good grip to pull ye up onto the ledge. And when ye done that it was easy, ye could trail yer leg over and if people were looking up and seeing Ohh! and they would see it and Ohh maybe he will fall, but it all was easy now and ye were doing it for a laugh. Usually people left the wee window open on the bathroom because if there was a thief he could not get up to it. How could he? People thought that. My maw and da thought that. I said to my da, Oh maybe people can climb in.

Ye just put yer hand through and down to get the handle to the big window then ye opened it. But I did not say it to him.

The balcony was the best place in the house. Ye got peace there. We were high up, but no so high as in the old house. But it was still high. I looked out and thought if it was water down below, if ye could dive in, it was like three dales up at the swimming baths, that was how high.

Even if ye were up on the roof, imagine diving off. Some ships my da sailed in were like that, ones as big as our complete building, sailing through the ocean. The sides of the ship was as big as it.

***

The Squatters' camp got flattened and they all were sent away. People were saying about it. And the Army was coming to clear the gun-site hill. We were waiting to see it but the Army lorries all came in the middle of the night and done it when everybody was asleep. Hundreds of lorries. People said that. It was going to be new houses, just houses and houses. Ye looked over at the fields and up to the gun-site hill, and it was all going to be houses, houses and houses. That was what my da said. Ye would not see nothing but houses. He sat at the window and looked out. If ye were watching the telly that was what he done, just smoking a fag. My maw said to him, Come and watch the programme, but a lot of times he did not.

I knew what it was, he was missing the sea. Uncle Billy telled us. One night after tea me and Matt went over to see grannie and granda. Uncle Billy was there and took us in to see granda. He was not keeping well and in his bed. Oh boys ye should have said ye were coming and I would have got up.

He was too tired now. I saw him lying in bed and his face was just thin.

Oh what about the new house, so we were telling him. Then about school, Oh how is it, what like is yer teachers? Are they all horrors?

Grannie was laughing. Oh dad!

Well mine were all horrors.

Oh but do not say it.

Him and grannie liked hearing about school. Matt said about his lessons and what he was doing. He did not talk about stuff if I was there so now he was and I was listening. He had a teacher he liked and it was him said it about college, Oh you are good at science.

So he was going to go, just if he done his lessons good. He was going to do them. My da was going to make him a desk so he could put his books. Granda telled him to stick in, Oh you stick in son.

Oh he is always swotting, I said.

Matt just looked at me.

Grannie did not want us to stay long. Uncle Billy was there. Come on we will go to the pictures.

But grannie said, No Billy do not take them it is too late. Oh boys you better just go home. Come on Saturday or Sunday the next time.

Uncle Billy walked with us down to the subway. He was asking about my da's new job. Oh he does not like it much, I said. It is too cramped for him.