H. Adler - Panorama

In general, Josef had certainly turned away from most things and stuck to his own, mistrust the only means of self-protection once you were no longer young, for then you are lured and enticed by all sides, no matter where you go, as here and only here is where you find the truth, there being no need to be a Doctor Faust who first pledged his soul to the spirits, they are quite willing to offer themselves cheap, such that one can hardly resist them, but should you grant them the slightest sympathy, then you are already lost, since they debase anything that comes into contact with them, there being within such enticements a pact between the wooer and the wooed, which is the root of hatred, conflict, intolerance, and envy, and this is why Josef will have none of it, but instead chooses to keep to himself. Thomas protests that this is not what Johannes means to him, for he is so chaste and simple, his soft smile enchanting, his tenderness spreading to all, such that you can’t help but find him a good spiritual guardian who listens to the experiences related to him by his friends, whom he doesn’t judge, not wanting that others confess to him but simply asking quietly the mildest of questions, and how he does so is wonderful and inimitable, much guidance existing in the questions themselves, for in formulating your answers you find yourself understanding more clearly what you have experienced but often have not understood, to which Johannes adds wonderful comments, these often being small suggestions, after which you feel much better. Spiritual assistance is the most important thing to Johannes, but you have to seek him out on your own initiative, he doesn’t want to serve as any kind of master or authority, though he possesses a natural authority that hangs on every word spoken from his lips. Josef then asks whether these questions and answers are shared in the open, as he finds it shameless to talk about his experiences openly in front of others, for who can understand such things, and one should keep such matters to himself, not out of selfishness and shame but rather out of self-discipline and composure. Thomas assures him once again that especially with Johannes there is no need to hide anything, you only need to throw yourself into it and experience it for yourself, there being a palpable bliss that everyone senses in the tower room above, the effects of which Thomas says nothing more about, but which clearly have captivated Thomas and softened him almost entirely, such that Josef finally says he would like to meet Johannes, but only just him.

Thomas is roused by this and takes Josef at his word, telling him they will go together next week, Josef recommending that it be Saturday, though Thomas explains that you can visit Johannes Monday through Friday only, no one allowed in on Saturday or Sunday, the door is not even opened if someone rings, since Johannes wants to be alone and doesn’t go out. Thus on the following Monday the friends visit Johannes, who lives in the middle of the city, six flights up on the top floor, the place looking like a tower from the outside, it being unlike any normal apartment and more like a studio. Johannes is a photographer, having won many prizes years ago at various exhibitions, though that’s long past, his career no more now than a fading memory, while to the left and right as you enter the building there are display cases with a few photographs in them, little notices announcing the visiting hours, where the studio is located, and that there is an elevator. But hardly any customers come to the studio, it not mattering to Johannes, Thomas explaining that Johannes needs to make only a little bit of money, although he has no means, but he never complains, and it’s unclear just how he manages to make ends meet, especially given the household that he runs. The customers have long since disappeared, because of how long they had to wait in the waiting room, even then being told that Herr Tvrdil, sorry to say, was tied up and could do no photography today, so would one be so kind as to come back another day? The customers would ask if they could set up an appointment by phone, but they received a friendly smile and were told that unfortunately there was no phone, at which people would head off angry and not come back again, it being the case that, even when the customers weren’t put off, it wasn’t Johannes who took their picture but instead the doors of the studio would open and his assistant, Frieda, who had just greeted the visitors and led them to the waiting room, called them in and took the photograph herself.

Josef and Thomas climb the stairs, neither having a coin in his pocket for the elevator, and so they walk up to the door, on which nothing stands except:

JOHANNES TVRDIL

CLOSED SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND SUNDAY

Thomas knocks three times quickly, this the signal that leads to the door being opened, otherwise even on weekdays, when customers might show up, the door is opened only after some minutes or perhaps not at all, though this time the three knocks don’t seem to do any good, as Josef asks whether Thomas needs to give the signal again, the latter reassuring him that someone will soon be there, for he certainly won’t knock again, and finally they hear footsteps, as before them stands a woman roughly thirty-five years of age, Frieda the assistant. Thomas has already explained to Josef that Frieda spends most of her time with Johannes, this having been so for many years, for Johannes is divorced and has a twelve-year-old daughter who lives with an aunt and visits Johannes only once a week, there being no deep relationship between father and daughter, Frau Tvrdil a remarkable person, exceptionally lovely, though the marriage was an unhappy one, Johannes always saying that no one should do as he did and fall in love with and marry a woman simply because she pleased him. Thomas knows nothing more than this, but it must indeed have been a somewhat difficult breakup, for the wife eventually took up with another man and asked Johannes for a divorce, he having insisted as part of the settlement that the daughter must not be raised by the mother, which they both agreed to, Johannes having never seen the woman again. Until the divorce he had been outwardly successful, but afterward none of it mattered to him, as he found himself changing on the inside, for he began to search for the meaning of life, eventually joining a group of people who called themselves mystics and founded a society called the Burning Thorn Bush, after which Johannes began to feel good again. There they tried to understand the meaning of life through meditative means and spoke of an eternal brotherhood that knows no borders, the brotherhood representing the true path for humankind, all other outward powers of earthly states being powerless in the face of it, they believing in the immense power of the Guardian of the Realm and other mystical revelations that can be experienced only on the inside, they mean nothing on the outside, though they are reflected in the soul through the face of the initiated, such that they know each other as brothers and sisters anywhere in the world through a simple glance or a single word exchanged between them.

Johannes met Frieda in this society of friends, she falling powerfully in love, though not encountering the same love in return, but Johannes needed help in the studio, and since Frieda wanted to change jobs, anyway, she soon became his assistant. That was fine with her, nor did she wish to stop there, for she wanted to fulfill his life, though he gently held back without dismissing her from her position. After the divorce Johannes had given up his apartment and moved into the studio, which in addition contained two rooms, a kitchen and an adjoining room. Then Frieda began to clean for Johannes, to do the shopping, take care of the kitchen, and eventually cook and wash the dishes, Johannes accepting it all, not approving, though also not protesting, such that when Frieda’s mother died he silently agreed to her suggestion that she move in with him, she bringing her own things and setting up a bed in the kitchen, while Johannes slept in the tower room, since then the two of them running the business together and living one next to the other. Long ago Johannes had eased his ties with the society of friends and then quit, after which he withdrew from life, no longer wishing to be misled into whatever circumstances might lead him to, for soon he wanted nothing more to do with matters of business or money, and if anyone wished to talk about them he would simply smile and say that silver can be found to buy bread, but gold comes from the sun, though his real earnings grew ever less, a studio assistant having to be let go, and Frieda taking over these duties as well, though Thomas didn’t think she had been paid in years, and that her savings had been used to keep the business going, Frieda having come to terms with it all and living quietly next to Johannes.