H. Adler - Panorama

Whenever FHF talks this way no one takes him completely seriously, for what he says sounds almost like a joke, and he just throws it all in amid the fun he fosters as court jester, which they love, but when he’s really serious they just shake their heads and say FHF is theorizing yet again, only Alfred saying to let him be. Josef marvels at him when he shares some thoughts at night while lying in the tent after the lamp is put out, the two of them talking for a while quietly so as not to disturb anyone, as Josef asks, “How should one conduct his life so that the light can be reconciled with the darkness?” FHF explains that this only happens slowly, you have to observe the world, there being everywhere beautiful and exalted things, next to which there are evil and lowly things, though the Wanderers’ camp is a piece of good fortune, for from there you can hear the dogs howling in the villages, you can trace the history of the fall of Landstein Castle, you hear the steps of the legio decima , the wind stroking the treetops then as it does now, the beeches sounding a major key, the birches a minor, Altstadt founded later, and then disappearing until the church was built, the monks constructing their white church and cloister, the old Landstein Castle abandoned and continuing to go to ruin more and more, the Wanderers now guests, and even this a tiny piece of eternal history.

When FHF talks like this, the past and the present flow together for Josef as if in a dream, himself hearing again the songs sung around the campfire, the flames climbing high and smoking when green branches are placed upon them, life is beautiful and free, no need to languish in a prison, there being no barrier between what is serious and what is meant in jest, the flames of the campfire also part of the breath of the eternal light, before which one sits as in a panorama and stares inside, mankind always bracing himself before this light which will not really allow him to find a way in, something always remaining closed off, unreachable, man an onlooker, though if he wishes to be more than that he takes many risks, for who knows who can prevail without being destroyed? But it’s good to sit by the light and let it warm you. Soon Josef hears nothing more of what FHF says, all of it now a dream, the sound of the forest treetops resonating day and night, a timeless journey that goes on and on and yet remains completely still. Adamsfreiheit is on the narrow-gauge railroad line, so there are few daily trains; perhaps Fritz Hans Fuchs is no longer talking and has already gone to sleep; the flag has been taken down and is at rest; and Alfred is asleep, everyone is asleep in their tents, the farm boy from Sichelbach asleep, the lake asleep, the fish tired in the dark current, as Josef also sleeps through to the new day that will soon dawn.

THOMAS OFTEN TELLS JOSEF WHAT A WONDERFUL PERSON JOHANNES IS, the great questions of mankind often debated by his circle, free of superficial chatter, devoid of political jargon, though it’s not just about art, but rather what cannot be learned at any school or university, nor is it religion or philosophy in the usual sense, all of that being too extraneous; no, it’s about life itself, the inner life that you penetrate only when you concentrate on your deepest interior and peel away everything external. Thomas is the youngest in the circle, which contains remarkable men and women, as well as artists, who would really be of interest to Josef, as Thomas also mentions the poet and art collector Spiridion von Flaschenberg, though the most important is Johannes, who lives in seclusion above in his tower room and hardly ever comes out, but instead others visit him, the circle coming together each Wednesday, Thomas having told Johannes a great deal about Josef, such that he’d be pleased to have him visit. Yet Josef doesn’t allow himself to be enticed by this invitation, because he finds that already at eighteen he has gadded about with other people too much, having experienced more than other people his age and fancying himself older and more mature. Often he thinks of himself as a finished man, and looking ahead at life he perceives no clear path, and you have to be on your own in order to find yourself, everything else is a distraction, Josef having composed a philosophy that he thinks is original but which Thomas doesn’t find so unique, though he firmly agrees that it is real and deep, the great truths not having changed throughout human history, because there is only one truth, the great masters having found it, and perhaps our era’s challenge is to show that there is still only one truth that can be reached in the end, people just have not woken up to it, only the great masters have known it or at least sensed it, Johannes being one of those who had indeed achieved it, that’s what is so amazing about him, that he has perceived it, he sees all things as if they stood in a panorama before him, and since he has turned the light inside himself to the highest brightness he can survey everything in the world with this very same light.

Josef is mistrustful and counters that each person must find his own way, and that only on your own is it possible to do so, therefore no one can tell anyone what to do, it will quickly lead to misunderstandings, and there is nothing more important than to maintain your independence. Thomas assures him that is exactly what Johannes teaches, that in fact he says nothing, he only listens to people and shows them where they have gone wrong, and that it’s only a matter of discovering the truth in yourself and thus attaining the peace that allows you to remain within yourself. Josef replies that this all sounds well and good, yet he does not see what it is he should be seeking from Johannes if he is proclaiming only what Josef has long been convinced of already. Thomas at first has to agree, but soon he starts his campaign again and repeats that Josef has no idea what he’s missing by declining, for it is certainly right to want to be independent, and Thomas wants that as well, but to gather together with like-minded people is a godsend and an opportunity to share your innermost thoughts. Thomas can only underscore how much he owes Johannes, yet Josef shouldn’t believe that he is just not ready, one is always ready, it always being obvious that you stand at the start and look inside yourself, everything seeming confused, the path that leads to salvation is long, while upon it one constantly discovers new passions that are contrary to the truth, so how can one arrive at equilibrium? Whatever happens is nothing but a distraction from the truth, the individual finds himself perpetually at odds with it, nor can you ever in life be completely at one with the truth, that being possible only through the deliverance that comes at the entrance to your final rest.

Why does Josef hang around Thomas? If you know who you are, then you are unaffected and it doesn’t bother you and nothing will bother you, but whoever is still looking for something finds himself constantly ill at ease and is very far from his goal, just as the great masters teach. Whoever is still looking for something should go where there is more light than in himself, and that is what is so marvelous about Johannes. Because he has attained so much, he knows what it is possible for humans to know, the next step leading from earthly reality into the true reality, where everything consists of pure spirit. Josef listens, but many months go by before he is willing to consider visiting Johannes just once with Thomas, but certainly not his circle, just him alone, because the more he learns from Thomas the more mistrustful he is of this circle, feeling that it could be some kind of sect or even a secret society, and therefore a cliquish confraternity from which he believes he would then have to extricate himself. The true person defines himself and should seek nothing from other people who bind themselves together in tight groups, for that forwards a herd mentality, as in a religious community, or in a youth group, a political party, in school or in the military, in a social club, and most of all among all those people who cannot stand to be alone because they are afraid of themselves, though Josef believes he is now empty of fear and understands his life as a singular battle against fear in his effort to attain unadulterated beauty, though the world disrupts the harmony in which such beauty can be found.