H. Adler - Panorama

It’s happn’d again, it’s happn’d again, someone’s dii-ied again ,

I swear ’tis so—

Knock ’im down, knock ’im down, and cu-urse ,

the dirty rogue .

But Poldi says it’s a great sin when Fritz sings this, nor does Herma like it, but Fritz sings it nonetheless, even if no one wants to hear it, yet Otto loves to hear it and sings along as well. The musicians are followed by the funeral wagon with the coffin, loads of flowers and wreaths upon it, after which there often follows the volunteer firemen, Herr Dechant bringing up the rear with a cross in his hand, followed by two more altar boys and the mourners and sometimes other groups, all of them marching from the church and past Herr Neumann’s store to the cemetery, which is not very far away.

Josef also knows the family of Herr Bilina, the dental technician, who once worked on one of his teeth and took care of it quite easily and without all the fuss normal for a dentist. Herr Bilina is also a photographer, and though he does it mostly for his own pleasure, he is willing to do it for a fee. Once Herma went with Josef to Herr Bilina, for Josef really wanted a photograph taken of the two of them together so that he could give the picture to his mother for her birthday. Herr Bilina was quite happy to do so as Herma chatted away with Frau Bilina, the two of them talking about everything that was going on in Umlowitz, after which Herr Bilina came in and said that he had prepared the plates, and that Herma and Josef should come into the garden, since in such weather he could take a better picture outside than in the office, at which everyone moved out to the garden. There the dental technician had set up a backdrop that belonged to the theater troupe in which Frau Bilina acted, Herr Bilina having allowed the troupe to use a shed in the garden, Herr Bilina’s younger brother, who worked as an assistant to the dental technician, also helping out by painting the backdrops in his free time, most of the time through his own inspiration, though mostly using models, Frau Bilina claiming that the younger Bilina was a great artist as she said, “My brother-in-law should really live in the city, where he could earn a great deal with his paintings. However, my husband thinks it better that he remain here and help him.”

Everything was ready for the photograph, Josef stood with Herma in front of the backdrop that depicted Italy with the great volcano that was there, as well as the sea and the palm trees, ships appearing on the water, as Frau Bilina proudly said to Josef that his mother would be very pleased if the scenery also appeared in the photograph, for that is the panorama that one sees from Naples. But Josef already knew this backdrop, for it had been used as scenery in William Tell , although William Tell takes place in Switzerland and not in Italy. Herma said that such a thing could happen only in Umlowitz, but not in a regular theater, there one would be able to paint another backdrop if one thought of it in time, and that Principal Bolek had discovered it too late, just in time for the dress rehearsal, and though he complained a great deal that such a backdrop wasn’t right for William Tell , and that another one should quickly be painted, on which there should appear the Alps, the younger Bilina didn’t have time, because the elder Bilina had too much to do, at which the members of the troupe told Herr Bolek that it was already too late, there was nothing that could be done, and that Vesuvius is also a mountain like the Alps, and that it doesn’t matter if it spews forth fire, for people won’t notice, and not everyone knows that Vesuvius is in Italy, or even that this mountain was supposed to be Vesuvius, and hardly anyone knows that William Tell takes place in Switzerland, while Herr Bolek remained against using it, though there was nothing more he could do about it. That’s how the backdrop ended up in William Tell , even though no one made anything of it, since people found the play much too serious anyway, yet now Josef was glad to have it as background.

Frau Bilina gave Herma and Josef plenty of good advice on how to arrange themselves and what kind of expressions they should make, as well as how to place their feet and hands so that they didn’t look posed. Josef had wanted Herma to place a hand on his shoulder, and Frau Bilina showed her how to do that in a way that made for a nice effect. When Frau Bilina was finally done, Herr Bilina began to speak, for before he had been hidden under the black cloth at the back of the camera, but then Herr Bilina’s maid ran down to the garden to say that Fräulein Leirer had arrived, while Frau Bilina said that her husband wasn’t seeing any patients now, but instead was taking photographs. But the maid claimed that she had told Fräulein Leirer all of that already, but the Fräulein had nonetheless said that she had a toothache, otherwise she wouldn’t have come, at which Frau Bilina yelled up to the maid that once Herr Bilina was done with the photograph he would come up and look at Fräulein Leirer’s tooth. But Herr Bilina said nothing and simply remained under his black cloth, while Frau Bilina told Herma that Fräulein Leirer always did this when Herr Bilina wished to make a photograph, for in fact she had no toothache at all, there being nothing wrong with her teeth, she only had a touch of rheumatism in her teeth and all it took was an aspirin and for her to lie down for an hour, for there was nothing Herr Bilina could do for her, since one couldn’t take out all of her teeth just because they were sensitive. All the while Herr Bilina said nothing, but Frau Bilina remarked that around Umlowitz it was said that Principal Bolek was courting Fräulein Leirer, and though Frau Bilina didn’t want to say anything herself, it certainly could be. Then Herr Bilina announced that he was ready to take the photograph, at which he bent forward a little and shoved the camera closer and called out, “Please now, hold still, just for a moment!” Then at last Herr Bilina snapped the picture and it was finally done. He then said that he would develop it right away in order to see how it came out, and that Josef could pick it up on Saturday. Then Herr Bilina said a quick goodbye and was off to have a look at Fräulein Leirer’s sore tooth, Frau Bilina saying goodbye as well, but only after accompanying Herma and Josef to the front gate. The photograph, meanwhile, was a great success and they ordered a bunch of copies to pass along as gifts, Herma keeping one on her nightstand, as did Josef.

These are the people that Josef really knows in Umlowitz, some of them only by sight, while in school he really knows only Principal Bolek, his teacher, Lopatka, and Kreissel, the leader of the chorus who does the concerts at Schwinghammer’s. As for the other teachers, he barely knows their names, nor does he even know the children in his class, for he is rarely there, Lopatka noting as an excuse that Josef is always so pale, though whatever question the teacher asks him Josef knows the answer, and knows it much better than all the other children in Umlowitz. But whenever Josef needs something explained he always asks Rudolf, who is happy to help him, or even Arthur, though he has little time, Herma and Fritz and even Herr Neumann also helping out now and then, while Leopold is happy to explain how to handle the customers in a way that satisfies them. Thus Josef learns wherever he goes, asking anyone in the house or even Toni, who says he knows only about horses, coaches, hay carts, and the barouche, though Josef loves to listen to it all, while Poldi shows him how to milk a cow, even though she never lets him do it on his own, despite his pleading that at least he’d like to milk a goat. Praxel also knows a great deal, telling Josef old stories about what Umlowitz looked like a hundred years ago, fifty years ago, and before there were any oil lamps, or before there were any doctors in Umlowitz, when one had to travel to Krumau or farther, people preferring instead to simply let the Reverend come in order to administer final rites. When Praxel’s children came down with scarlet fever there was already a doctor in Umlowitz, but there was nothing he could do, and so Praxel also had to call the Reverend in order to have her children receive their last rites before they died. Since then, Praxel had trusted no doctor and wouldn’t think of calling one, even if she were a hundred years old, that time with the children being the only time she had done so. If it involved an everyday ailment, no one knew better than Praxel how to take care of it, she knew all the herbs, and if the good Lord could not help there was no help to be had from either a doctor or Praxel.