H. Adler - Panorama

Whenever Herr Neumann doesn’t have anything else to do, he’s in the store, especially on Sunday mornings during church, almost the entire family there as well, and the store full of people, because the farmers and their wives otherwise have little time to shop. Arthur says you run yourself ragged trying to serve everyone at once, but otherwise evenings are the other time they come, when it often is full, Leopold having to lock the shop so that no one else comes in, opening up to let customers back out when they are ready, for Herr Neumann doesn’t like to let anyone out through the kitchen, as then the people passing through look into the pots cooking on the stove, which Herr Neumann doesn’t like, since it’s none of their business, which is why they all need to be let out through the front, even Josef helping to do so when all the others have their hands full. Otto also sometimes comes into the store, though he doesn’t open the door for customers, and actually Herr Neumann doesn’t like having him there, saying that Otto should go into the kitchen, but because Otto likes it so much Herr Neumann doesn’t outright forbid him and doesn’t say another word if Otto doesn’t disappear. During the day only a few people enter the shop, usually not staying for long, unless the weather is bad, when they all have to talk with the customers a great deal about this year’s harvest and the cows, the times, what’s going on in politics, how good the corpse looked, what the priest said at the cemetery, as well as the most recent wedding.

Normally Herma is not in the store, but some women ask for her right off and she has to come in, but when she has no time someone has to ask that she be excused or says that she’s not home. The men, however, like best to talk with Herr Neumann, especially the older ones, while the younger are also happy to chat with Rudolf or Arthur, and many others just want something good to drink. Way in the back to the right Herr Neumann has some schnapps, be it caraway, anise, or black cherry, and eggs stewed in Cognac, which usually Rudolf and Arthur mix up, as well as rum also made by them both, and finally plum brandy, which the farmers and Herr Neumann like best of all, the customers always saying, “Another shot, Herr Neumann!” And so he pours another jiggerful, the farmers lifting the tiny glasses to their mouths and bending their heads back, as one-two, the shot glass is empty once again. Everyone is sad when the plum brandy is finished, for it tastes so good, and then they have to drink something else, a caraway schnapps or a black cherry, a lovely red schnapps that almost looks like glowing raspberry water, though the men say that black-cherry schnapps doesn’t warm them up the same, that it’s only sugar water, not real schnapps. The shot glasses rest on a bare metal tray that Leopold says is made of zinc, and when someone wants a drink he picks up the shot glass and holds it out to Herr Neumann or whomever in order to have it filled, but when he doesn’t want any more he places the glass back down on the metal tray or simply on the counter, though Herr Neumann would rather he didn’t, for inevitably someone doesn’t see a shot glass resting there and it gets knocked onto the floor and is broken. The shot glasses are not washed, and everyone drinks from them, no one afraid of catching anything, as once a week Leopold rinses out the glasses in a bucket that holds the water he uses to clean the store, Josef having once said to Herr Neumann that it cannot be healthy, at which he laughed and said, “We’ve always done it that way in Umlowitz, and it’s never harmed anyone yet.”

Herr Neumann has a large fat stomach that presses against the counter when he stands behind it and bends over to show the farmers’ wives something, which causes difficulties in his breathing, such that he sighs when he’s finally done and doesn’t have to bend over anymore. Sometimes there’s no one in the store, so Leopold straightens up the goods that have become a bit disarranged, especially when there’s no time to pick up after the customers right away. But the store is not the only source of Herr Neumann’s living, for behind the kitchen there’s a room where Otto and Poldi sleep, and sometimes someone else, there being a third bed there, as well as Herr Neumann’s desk with many drawers, many papers stacked up on it, causing Josef to wonder how Herr Neumann can find anything at all, though Rudolf and Arthur have no trouble finding what they need, either. Sometimes Herr Neumann sits there with all his mail, lots of letters and cards arriving every day, as well as newspapers, catalogs and many advertisements. But it’s not the mailman who brings them, for the mail in Umlowitz takes too long to arrive, so it’s picked up at the post office instead, Josef often sent to get it, once a day somebody going after it, except on Sundays, since there is no mail then, but instead an old woman sits there, the postmistress, who always gets two shots of plum brandy on the house when she comes into the store, which is almost every day, everyone having to address her as Madam Postmistress, while only Herr Neumann calls her by her real name, Fräulein Schunko, no one else being allowed to do so, she having all the mail ready to be taken back home if you showed up at the right time, after which it is brought to Herr Neumann, though when he’s away Arthur takes the mail or Rudolf. Herr Neumann almost always goes straight back to his desk, where he rips open the letters easily with his fingers, while many other items are chucked into the wastebasket, but first of all he rips off the stamps, which he puts into a little box, since Fritz collects stamps and says he already has around five thousand, many of them doubles, which he takes with him every Monday to Budweis in order to trade them at school. Meanwhile Herr Neumann leaves a pile of important letters on the desk for Rudolf or Arthur to answer, Herr Neumann having printed up letterhead and envelopes and cards for this purpose, there being two kinds, where on one it says:

JAKOB NEUMANN

VICTUALS, TEXTILES

Dry Goods of All Kinds

UMLOWITZ

Located on the Central Square

And the other kind reads:

JAKOB NEUMANN

Real Estate Agent

UMLOWITZ

This card, however, is used much less frequently, because real estate is a different kind of business than anything else.

Arthur has explained to Josef that real estate is a difficult business, you have to know a lot, for otherwise you can lose everything, it being more about serving as an intermediary than really selling something, and when a farmer wants to get rid of a little piece of field or woods or meadow, he writes to Herr Neumann or comes to him himself. They then sit in the back room, no one allowed in, Otto also sent out, while sometimes Poldi also has to wait forever before she’s allowed in, even if she says she has to get into her cupboard, Herr Neumann only calling in Arthur and Rudolf now and then, though it can also happen that he asks for Herma as well. Then matters are discussed at length, Herr Neumann and the man having red faces when they emerge, after which they usually go into the store and drink a few glasses of plum brandy. And whenever Herr Neumann is particularly interested in a field or whatever, and if it’s not too far, but not directly in Umlowitz, then on the day he wants to look at the field he tells Toni the coachman (who otherwise drives the freight wagon to the train station each day) that he has something he has to look at, and that Toni should hitch the horses to the barouche, which is a black wagon much like a hackney. And then Herr Neumann rides off with Toni, but when he comes back he has a list of addresses on his desk from people who want to buy something, who should come to him soon or write to him, though they need to hurry if they are really interested, as there are several others who want to buy that piece of property, because it’s valuable and a good location, which is why Herr Neumann can’t wait for long or hold anything, for no matter how sorry, he is not to be able to do so.