Fuminori Nakamura - Last Winter We Parted

Her lovely slender fingers entwine around my penis, tightening as they move up and down. It becomes impossible for me to keep a thought in my head. The pleasure builds up in my penis. I bury my face in her breasts.

“If we keep at this …”

“Go ahead and come.… Come! Come like a fool.”

She murmurs in my ear. She places a towel over me, while she continues to move her hand. The movement of her fingers becomes intense. My breathing is ragged, I can’t take it any longer. I try to stop her hand, but she won’t let me. We kiss again and again. The pleasure intensifies, and I close my eyes. I ejaculate into her long slender fingers and the towel. My body quivers faintly with lingering pleasure. She strokes my face, and kisses my ear.

“… Feel better? Now go home.”

She is still smiling as she pulls away from me and stands up. She looks down at me.

“Come back again … And,” her breath catches a little, “save me.”

THE LIGHTS IN the room are glaring on the transparent acrylic glass.

Yudai Kiharazaka looks tired again today. He wears a black sweat suit, the same as last time. He is looking straight at me with his lifeless eyes.

— … I had a lot of things I wanted to say if I ever saw you again .

Again, he manages not to change any part of his expression besides his mouth.

— But there’s something more important.… Have you met with my sister?

Behind him, there is a guard in uniform this time as well. He is not the same man as before.

“Yes … Because I’m writing the book about you.”

— Is that all?

Suddenly I can feel the movement of her fingers. Her long slender fingers. I can also feel her breath. And the warmth of her body.

“… That’s all.”

— That’s a lie … Are you … prepared?

I maintain contact with his lifeless eyes. I can feel the pressure — I want to look away but I hold out.

“… What do you mean?”

— You don’t know about my sister … She’s not the kind of woman you can just simply flirt with. Two men are dead because of her. So far .

My heart starts to race. I have the feeling that he is looking directly at my chest. As if he is trying to ascertain how fast my heart is beating. Her fingers grip around me again.

“… Dead?”

— Suicides. My sister drove them to it. I don’t know the details though. There must be more of them who attempted suicide, who didn’t die … Quite the siblings we are, huh? You’re in danger too .

The smell of disinfectant wafts up from the cold floor. As though no matter how persistently someone has tried to kill whatever germs are there, they still refuse to be eliminated.

— I try to capture a person’s true nature in a photograph. My sister … she stimulates a person’s true nature, and throws it into disarray. In a way, I’m probably no different. My sister wants everything from a person. And when she’s gone, the man is ruined … These men give up everything for my sister, and she sucks them dry, and tosses them aside … She’s a looker, isn’t she? My sister .

“… She’s alluring.”

— Right. You probably think that you’ve never met anyone like her in your life … I want my sister to be happy. But it will never happen. I doubt she will ever be happy, or that anyone around her will ever be happy either .

I am aware of the prohibited recorder I am carrying.

“She showed me … a photograph. A photo of you and Akari when you were kids.”

— … I was in it?

“Yes. You were.”

— I have no interest. If I’m in the photo, then I didn’t take it, right? So it means nothing to me .

He lets out his breath. Still he doesn’t shift his expression.

— … But it’s strange. That my sister likes you, I mean. You don’t seem like her type … I wonder what has changed in her life .

Suddenly, my reflection in the acrylic glass overlaps with his face. I look away. “Save me.” I haven’t been able to get what she said out of my mind. Her scent is still on my neck.

“Is Akari … is she in some kind of trouble?”

— Hm?… It wouldn’t surprise me if she were. She’s the sister of a murderer. I’ve only made things worse for her .

I wonder if that is all. I have the feeling it is something else. It doesn’t seem like it is just some kind of abstract wish for me to save her from herself.

“But other than that, something more tangible.”

— … Did she say something to you about it?

“No, I just …”

The man is staring at me.

— … She made some bitter remarks to the bereaved families and … she has a lot of enemies. That’s why she’s living like she is, in hiding. Even though she had nothing to do with what I did, well, for instance, there are still the families of the men who committed suicide … Taking sides with my sister means everyone else becomes your enemy … But that’s not what I meant by being prepared. Will you promise me something?

There is a flicker of strength in his eyes. It is only the slightest shift, however, there is definitely emotion behind it.

— Whatever happens, I want you to stay by my sister’s side. Whatever happens. Even if she goes into a hysterical rage, even if she has an episode .

“… An episode?”

— Yeah, you really don’t know what you’re dealing with yet … If you’re not willing to take on everything that comes along with her, then I don’t want to see you again. Take it or leave it. But you ought to see the photograph I took of her. See her brutal past … I don’t know if you could take it. Me, or my sister .

His expression quickly returns. Back to apathy.

— … When you’re involved with my sister and me, you … Will you be swallowed up, and lose yourself?

I AM READING through the archives, but my brain isn’t processing them.

Of course it must be because I am drinking. I leave the archives on the desk and lie down on the bed. I can hear my neighbor coughing on the other side of the wall. It sounds like a painful cough, one that will dislodge something from deep within. He coughs again and again; it goes on without end. Wanting to get away from the noise of his coughing, I roll over. Keenly aware of the stranger who is just on the other side of the wall, I suddenly get the creeps.

My cell phone rings, and looking at the screen, I see that it is Yukie. I wonder why I didn’t turn off the ringer. The high-pitched hard sound echoes within my small apartment.

Yukie will never be happy with me. She should just get rid of me and find someone new, I think selfishly. I no longer even know whether I love her. I want her to be happy, but no sooner do I have the thought than the intensity of my feelings is likely to disappear.

But the world around me keeps moving, regardless of my will. The phone doesn’t stop ringing. As if it’s reproaching me for running away.

I turn on my computer and look at Internet news I care nothing about. I read the biased comments written below the articles, and look away when they make me sick. The phone keeps ringing. The sound reverberates through my cramped apartment. I take a sip of whiskey and light a cigarette. I can no longer hear the coughing from the apartment next door. It is almost as though the guy is holding his breath while he listens to my phone ringing. As if he has stopped his coughing and is patiently, resentfully waiting. “Save me.” I remember Akari Kiharazaka’s voice. While the phone rings, I feel her fingers on me, hear her voice. As if she is right in front of me. The phone stops ringing.