Dany Laferrière - Heading South

“I don’t want to take your money. . I know what the score will be: two to one in favour of Don Bosco. Sanon will score two goals in the first half. Vorbe will score for Violette towards the end of the game.”

“If you’re so sure of that, should we put a hundred dollars on it?”

Fanfan recoils as though he’s been punched in the face. He does a quick calculation: one hundred dollars equals five hundred gourdes. He doesn’t have that kind of money. He’s sure of winning, though, unless Sanon’s sidelined for some unknown reason early in the game, leaving Vorbe alone on the field. Even with his bad ankle that devil is easily capable of scoring a couple of goals. Where would he find the money, anyway? He can’t ask his mother for five hundred gourdes. Madame Saint-Pierre would cough it up, he thinks. Fanfan is pretty sure Charlie is betting with Missie’s money, otherwise he would have kept it down to his usual twenty gourdes. Fan-fan thinks that if he ever did win, Charlie should be the one to pay up.

“I’ll go get her, Charlie.”

“Get who?”

“Missie. . Her eyes glow in the dark. They’re like little mouse’s eyes.”

Charlie seems to weigh the situation for a brief moment.

“Whatever you want. . The problem is she doesn’t want to leave me. If I didn’t tell her it was time to go, she’d never go home at all. I don’t know what she sees in this place. Small room, no window. .”

“It looks different. .”

“Well, she does the dishes and makes the bed. . She’s made a few improvements on the sly. Sometimes I go out and leave her to it. And when I come back there’s always some new thing in the room. She’s taking over the place. Doesn’t matter how often I tell her this is my sanctuary. She has her big villa, but she wants my room as well. Those people are truly insatiable. That’s how they get rich, too. They take whatever there is to be taken.”

“I don’t know about that, but that was something, anyway, seeing her in the elevator. . Those frightened little eyes in the dark. .”

“Ah, the poet. . I know what you’re thinking, Fanfan. . You think she’s going to give you the money. Well, what I say is you’d be better off getting the money from someone else, and bring me my winnings tomorrow morning. If there’s no score, you win, that’s how sure I am. Or you can give me three hundred gourdes now, and keep the rest. .”

“You want me to pay you before the game. . Now you’re really off your head. . I’ve got to run, anyway. . Get your money ready. .”

“Right. Tell her she can come back.”

“You suddenly have your doubts?”

“Not at all. . But you’d be better off going to see your school principal. .”

“See you tomorrow, brother. .”

“That you will, my man, see you tomorrow. .”

RETURNING TO THE TABLE, Madame Sainte-Pierre still appears to be in a state of shock.

“I was beginning to think you’d run into your little friend. .”

“Oh, don’t be silly. He isn’t even here. . But you’ll never guess what did happen, Christina. .”

“I’m not even going to try. .”

“I couldn’t get into the washroom because that niece of Ambassador Abel’s was in there being screwed by some man. .” she blurted out in a single breath.

“How do you know it was her, Françoise?”

“She passed right in front of us on her way there. . I recognized her because I’ve been to the Abels’ a few times. Since his brother died he no longer has guests. And I’ve often seen her play tennis at the Circle.”

“She’s a very good tennis player, but she’s too aggressive, I think. She’s a bit full of herself. June beats her regularly, and she doesn’t like it one bit. In my opinion, she’s a better player than June, but she doesn’t win because she keeps losing her nerve. . June uses a bit too much topspin, I think. . I think she’s changed a lot, lately. .”

“But listen to me, Christina. I was standing there at the door, I could hear them as plainly as I can hear you. I was transfixed! I had no idea how well whatever goes on in that washroom can be heard outside. . I shudder to think what I might have said myself when I’ve been in there. .”

“What could you hear?”

“Everything! Everything, everything. Everything, I tell you. .”

“Well, that must be what’s shocked you. You’ve seemed very edgy these past few days. Are you sure you’re not just a tad jealous, perhaps?”

“Why would I be jealous? I didn’t even see who she was with. I have no idea what he looks like!”

“He must have come out of the toilet at some point, Françoise. .”

“Do you think I stuck around until they were finished? I had Gérard give me the key to the upstairs bathroom and I went up there. . Honestly, I didn’t see them. But I heard everything. They must be crazy! It sounded like he was slitting her throat. She was making such a terrible noise, I’ve never heard anything like it before. .”

“I’ll bet he was sodomizing her. .”

“Oh, that girl, she’ll do anything. And with everyone here. .”

“It was probably the only available place around, don’t you think?. . When you’re desperate, I’d imagine any closed-off area will do. . People lock themselves in bathrooms to shoot up, I’ve even seen it done here, so I don’t see why they wouldn’t fuck in them, too. .”

“I don’t agree, Christina. . If you look hard enough for a proper place you can always find one. Surely she knows someone who lives nearby. .”

“But suppose they just came here to have a quiet meal, and then all of a sudden. . In a way, it’s not much different than needing to pee. .”

The stricken yet outraged look on Madame Saint-Pierre’s face.

“But we’re not animals! At least I hope I’m not,” she hastened to add. .

“You never know until it happens to you, Françoise. . Only those to whom it’s happened can say for sure, and I doubt they’re about to. I’ve noticed that around here everybody talks about everything except what’s actually important to people. And certainly never to the people to whom it’s important.”

“I won’t spend my life in a place where I feel completely suffocated. You know? There are things I like about this place, but I find it all so secretive. Everyone is related to everyone else. Everyone keeps passing the ball to each other. They have affairs with each other, they play with each other, they even have each other’s children. Husbands cheat on their wives with their sisters-in-law. Wives sleep with their fathers-in-law. In the end, everyone sleeps with everyone else.”

“That’s why it’s called the Circle, Françoise. I hardly go there anymore. .”

“When I arrived here I was told that Jacqueline Widmaier threw these little so-called intellectual parties, where you could meet the popular young artists of the day. In reality, they were a kind of organized harem. She’d set up these very young people, painters or musicians or poets. Everyone knows that Jacqueline is no more a patron of the arts than you or I, but everyone pretends to swoon over her at those concerts and vernissages she arranges every month. . I haven’t seen you there very often, I must say. .”

“I used to go at the beginning, but as soon as I figured out what they were I haven’t set foot in the place. . These days if I go at all to the Bellevue Circle it’s either to meet someone or because Harry has an important game. . He absolutely insists on my being there to watch. Oh, the vanity of our husbands!”

“Do you see that woman over there, at the table near the window?”

“Who?. . Oh, her!. . I’ve never seen her before. .”

“She’s a French journalist. . I’ve heard a really amazing story about her. . A friend of Jacques Gabriel’s told me about it. She took part in a voodoo wedding without knowing that she was the bride. And Legba was the groom. Yes, you heard me: Legba. Can you imagine? A journalist comes here from Paris to write an article about Port-au-Prince, and ends up marrying a voodoo god. What a country! That’s why I stay here. You get so totally disheartened that you want to hang yourself, and then you hear something like that! Where else can you see gods marrying mortals?”