Harold Jaffe - Induced Coma

From the catalogue:

Designed to please. Lot 340. A pair of hardwood phalluses contained within a fitted kid leather case with fleurs-de-lys embellishment .

On request, a staff-member at each of London’s three Holiday Inn airport-area hotels will dress in a “fleece sleeper suit” then slip between your sheets. “The Holiday Inn bed-warmer is like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,” the spokesperson explained. She did not explain why the beds were not warmed by actual hot water bottles.

She emphasized that the bed-warmer leaves the bed before the guest occupies it. She could not confirm if the bed-warmer bathes first, but said hairnets are obligatory. The bed-warmer carries a thermometer to gauge the bed’s required temperature of 20 degrees Celsius.

Air France denied reports that it planned an additional charge for overweight passengers unable to fit into a single seat.

Instead, the international carrier said that from Feb. 1, overweight passengers who chose to purchase an extra seat for comfort would get their money back on flights that were not fully booked.

Previously an airline spokesperson said grossly fat flyers will have to pay 75 percent of the cost of a second seat (the full price excluding tax and surcharges) on top of the full price for the first, insisting the decision was for “safety, not esthetic,” reasons.

Britons are the ugliest people on the globe, according to a dating website that admits only “beautiful people.”

Fewer than 1 in 9 British males and just 3-and-a-half in 20 females who applied to BeautifulPeople.com have been accepted.

After applicants upload a recent photo and personal profile, current members of the elite dating site rate how attractive potential members are over a 48-hour period.

Norwegian males have proved the most attractive, with 65 percent acceptance, while Danish females are considered the most beautiful, with 77 percent acceptance.

The website was founded in 2005 in Copenhagen.

An American “activist team” has posted 573,000 pager messages purportedly sent on 9/11 from “regular people” trying to reach friends or loved ones in the World Trade Center.

Messages range from WTC ablazeto Prez aircraft rerouted no telling where he’ll hideto Rumsfeld vows to route Jihadists.

One says, This is Myrna—2 ndtower is down — Pls come home.

Some are unrelated to the attacks: Expecting 200 people for the Pig Pickin’. Call if you want. Josh.

Activist team: “Publishing the messages is one more building block to getting a full picture of what happened on that tragic day.”

Prosecutors will review the case of a woman who phoned 911 42 times over 6 months for non-emergency reasons, including a call to complain that her husband refused to eat his chicken fried steak dinner.

Last Friday, the woman allegedly made 4 calls to 911, including a hang-up and another where she was heard swearing.

Police dispatched to the residence were told by the 53-year-old woman that her husband repeatedly peed on the toilet seat.

She was also “screaming about stuff that happened 6 months ago.”

The woman, who has no previous convictions, faces charges of 911 abuse.

raided a cinema complex on Dec. 23 wrecking everything they could, abusing patrons, chanting obscenities, ripping down posters.

“50 imbeciles in Santa outfits burst through a side door,” said a 36-year-old woman waiting to see a movie with her daughter.

“They kept shouting ‘Ho F*****g Ho’,” she said.

You’re building a snowman so you’ll want a carrot, a scarf, a bucket of blood. Though blood may seem unusual, it’s a key component to the construction of these snowmen, along with an entrepreneurial spirit.

WE PAY FOR PIX! If you’ve seen a super creepy snowman, upload it asap.

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You gentlemen and ladies of quality who frequently don’t know yourselves what Christian virtue and justice are, look at the sunken eyes of the lower classes, where you can see clearly the sorrow and misery that weigh on their hearts.

Not everyone who sees his grieved and martyred face in the washroom mirror is a felon or drug addict. On the contrary, the grounds for his misery are to be sought elsewhere.

Friends far and near, if among you there is anyone without sin, let him come to me, and I will implore him for compassion and mercy.

I was hurt.

I started hurting back, killing.

I couldn’t stop.

I got to liking it and didn’t want to stop.

Why you telling me this?

Because I’m Pacino and you’re DeNiro.

We’ve become legends in our profession.

Wrong; there’s only one legend in our profession.

His name is Brando.

Michael Jackson’s famous white glove sold for $350,000 at a memorabilia auction in New York, soaring past pre-sale estimates, while a black sequined jacket he wore during a 1989 world tour fetched $245,000.

The Jackson memorabilia highlighted an auction of hundreds of rock’n’roll items, including many not associated with the “King of Pop,” who passed in June.

The white glove, called “the Holy Grail of Michael Jackson,” was expected to fetch about $50,000.

With the added commission, the final price of the white glove excluding taxes ran to $427,000.

The buyer was a Japanese businessman who requested anonymity.

body was found in a suitcase in a metal trash bin in Beverly Hills.

Investigators could not use dental records or fingerprints because her teeth and fingers had been excised.

They tracked the serial number of her breast implants.

Her husband, a reality-show contestant, was charged with murder.

These shades are kool. They conceal a built-in video camera that allows you to discreetly record everything you see without anyone’s knowledge.

The 0.3 megapixel pinhole vid-cam is planted in the bridge, providing 320x 240 high-quality resolution for AVI videos.

The left temple’s frame houses a slot that accommodates a microSD card for additional memory storage.

Vids can be uploaded to a computer running Windows such-and-such using the built-in USB port and cable.