William Maugham - Plays - Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour

She dyes her hair.

She dyes it uncommonly well.

She paints.

Much better than a Royal Academician.

And poor Charlie's simply infatuated. He rides with her all the morning, motors with her all the afternoon, and gambles with her half the night. I never see him.

But why should you think Lady Frederick cares two straws for him?

Don't be ridiculous, Paradine. Every one knows she hasn't a penny, and she's crippled with debts.

One has to keep up appearances in this world. Life nowadays for the woman of fashion is a dilemma of which one horn is the Bankruptcy Court and the other – dear Sir Francis Jeune.

I wish I knew how she manages to dress so beautifully. It's one of the injustices of fate that clothes only hang on a woman really well when she's lost every shred of reputation.

My dear, you must console yourself with the thought that she'll probably frizzle for it hereafter.

I hope I'm not wicked, Paradine, but to wear draperies and wings in the next world offers me no compensation for looking dowdy in a Paquin gown in this.

I surmised she was on the verge of bankruptcy when I heard she'd bought a new motor. And you seriously think Charlie wants to marry her?

I'm sure of it.

And what d'you want me to do?

Good heavens, I want you to prevent it. After all he has a magnificent position; he's got every chance of making a career for himself. There's no reason why he shouldn't be Prime Minister – it's not fair to the boy to let him marry a woman like that.

Of course you know Lady Frederick?

My dear Paradine, we're the greatest friends. You don't suppose I'm going to give her the advantage of quarrelling with me. I think I shall ask her to luncheon to meet you.

Women have such an advantage over men in affairs of this sort. They're troubled by no scruples, and, like George Washington, never hesitate to lie.

I look upon her as an abandoned creature, and I tell you frankly I shall stop at nothing to save my son from her clutches.

Only a thoroughly good woman could so calmly announce her intention of using the crookedest ways to gain her ends.

[ Looking at him. ] There must be some incident in her career which she wouldn't like raked up. If we could only get hold of that…

[ Blandly. ] How d'you imagine I can help you?

A reformed burglar is always the best detective.

My dear, I wish you could be frank without being sententious.

You've run through two fortunes, and if we all got our deserts you would be starving now instead of being richer than ever.

My second cousins have a knack of dying at the psychological moment.

You've been a horrid, dissipated wretch all your life, and heaven knows the disreputable people who've been your bosom friends.

With my knowledge of the world and your entire lack of scruple we should certainly be a match for one defenceless woman.

[ Looking at him sharply. ] Common report says that at one time you were very much in love with her.

Common report is an ass whose long ears only catch its own braying.

I was wondering how far things went. If you could tell Charlie of the relations between you…

My good Maud, there were no relations – unfortunately.

Poor George was very uneasy about you at the time.

Your deceased husband, being a strictly religious man, made a point of believing the worst about his neighbours.

Don't, Paradine; I know you didn't like one another, but remember that I loved him with all my heart. I shall never get over his death.

My dear girl, you know I didn't mean to wound you.

After all, it was largely your fault. He was deeply religious, and as the president of the Broad Church Union he couldn't countenance your mode of life.

[ With great unction. ] Thank God in my day I've been a miserable sinner!

[ Laughing. ] You're quite incurable, Paradine. But you will help me now. Since his father's death, the boy and I have lived a very retired life, and now we're quite helpless. It would break my heart if Charlie married that woman.

I'll do my best. I think I can promise you that nothing will come of it.

[ The door is flung open, and Lady Frederick enters, followed by Mereston, a young boyish man of twenty-two; by her brother , Sir Gerald O'Mara, a handsome fellow of six-and-twenty; by Captain Montgomerie, Admiral Carlisle, and Rose, his daughter . Lady Frederick is a handsome Irish woman of thirty to thirty-five, beautifully dressed. She is very vivacious, and light-hearted. She has all the Irish recklessness and unconcern for the morrow. Whenever she wants to get round anybody she falls into an Irish brogue, and then, as she knows very well, she is quite irresistible. Captain Montgomerie is a polished, well-groomed man of thirty-five, with suave manners . The Admiral is bluff and downright . Rose is a pretty ingénue of nineteen .

Here they are.

[ Enthusiastically going to him with open arms. ] Paradine! Paradine! Paradine!

Oh, my prophetic soul, mine uncle!

[ Shaking hands with Lady Frederick.] I heard you were at the Casino.

Charlie lost all his money, so I brought him away.

I wish you wouldn't gamble, Charlie dear.

My dear mother, I've only lost ten thousand francs.

[ To Paradine Fouldes.] I see you're in your usual robust health.

You needn't throw it in my face. I shall probably be very unwell to-morrow.

D'you know Admiral Carlisle? This is my brother Gerald.

[ Shaking hands. ] How d'you do?

[ Introducing. ] Captain Montgomerie.

I think we've met before.

I'm very pleased to hear it. How d'you do. [ To Mererston.] Are you having a good time in Monte Carlo, Charles?

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